German Measles?

How racist is that? Next they’ll be calling it the Spanish Flu.

German

Or, heaven forbid, the China Virus (try googling that, you won’t find it).

Newly discovered viruses suggest ‘German measles’ jumped from animals to humans – The virus that causes rubella, or German measles, finally has company. Scientists had never identified close relatives of the virus, leaving it as the only member of its genus, Rubivirus. But with a report in this week’s issue of Nature, rubella has gained a family. One of its two newfound relatives infects bats in Uganda; the other killed animals from three different species in a German zoo and was found in wild mice living nearby as well.

“Now we know that every disease in the letters of the MMR vaccine has a zoonotic origin.”

German Of The Day: Laufbursche

That means errand boy.

Schroeder

An example would be Russian Putin critic Alexej Nawalny saying of ex-chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (SPD, head lobbyist for Gazprom AKA Gazprom Gerd): „Schroeder is an errand boy for Putin who protects murderers.”

“Schröder ist ein Laufbursche Putins, der Mörder beschützt.”

Great Pumpkin Finally Discovered

And neutralized. And then given an award.

Pumpkin

Finally, some non-fake news we can dig our teeth into.

Monster pumpkin weighing almost 1,600 lbs wins annual prize in Germany – A man from Bavaria has won this year’s award for the heaviest pumpkin grown in Germany, with his winning entry weighing in at a whopping 1,588 pounds (720.5 kilos).

The Great Pumpkin is an unseen character in the comic strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz. According to Linus van Pelt, the Great Pumpkin is a supernatural figure who rises from the pumpkin patch on Halloween evening, and flies around bringing toys to sincere and believing children. Linus continues to have faith in the Great Pumpkin, despite his friends’ mockery and disbelief.

 

Number Of Germans Reporting In Sick Has Fallen To Dangerously Low Levels

This is a real German dilemma. How do you gracefully call in sick to stay home when you’re already home playing sick in the first place? OK, to avoid being sick. But still.

Sick

Coronavirus: Fewer Germans call in sick during pandemic – With many avoiding the doctor’s office and working from home during the coronavirus pandemic, the number of German workers reporting in sick has fallen to below average levels.

“After a record high at the end of March, the number of sick employees insured by TK dropped to a below-average level.”

PS: And this at a time when other folks refuse to call in sick when maybe they ought of sort of should.

€3 Million Might Sound Like A Humble Beginning

But the German state governments have only just begun collecting the money. It’s a sum that is certainly ausbaufähig (capable of being developed, i.e. increased).

Fines

Coronavirus: German cities issue 35,000 fines to rulebreakers – Germany’s biggest cities have collected more than €3 million in penalties from violators of coronavirus restrictions. Munich and Hamburg, which have been hit hardest by the pandemic, have doled out the most fines.

 

On October 31, 2020, BER Will Open

But don’t tell anyone, OK? It’s too embarrassing.

Airport

Berlin’s new international airport can open next month after an embarrassing nine-year delay despite the coronavirus pandemic taking a big bite out of air travel, its chief manager said Tuesday…

BER was set to open in 2011 but the date was repeatedly pushed back over a series of issues, including fire safety and corruption.

In the meantime, the cost of the facility exploded to 6.5 billon euros ($7.6 billion) from a 1.7-billion-euro budget initially.

“There won’t be a big party, just an opening.”

Hobby Dope?

But he’s a full-time fool at his day job, I bet.

Dope

German doctor accused of masterminding network admits to ‘hobby’ doping – A German doctor accused of masterminding an international blood-doping network dismantled last year admitted on Tuesday to helping athletes undergo transfusions to boost performance.

In a statement read by his lawyers, sports physician Mark Schmidt said he had started to aid individuals in 2012 but refrained from disclosing specific names.

He claimed he made no financial profit from the process but asked for 5,000 euros ($5,852) a year for his services and also asked for result-based bonuses.

“In the end I never made money from it, I always saw it as a hobby.”

Navalny Survives Merkel Visit Too

This guy is one tough cookie.

Novalny

German Chancellor Merkel visited Kremlin critic Navalny in hospital – Chancellor Angela Merkel visited Russian opposition figure Alexei Navalny while he was undergoing treatment for poisoning in a Berlin hospital, German government spokesman Steffen Seibert said Monday.

Seibert confirmed Navalny’s own report that the “personal visit” took place, but declined to provide further details.

It’s “personal,” see? Why is everybody out to get this guy?

Germany Extends Coronavirus Red Zone List To Include Every Place That Isn’t Germany

In another breathtaking German Alleingang that Germany promised never, ever to do again under any circumstances we promise this time really, Germany has now declared the rest of Planet Earth a Coronavirus Red Zone.

Germany

For those unfamiliar with what that means, a Coronavirus Red Zone is a place the German Foreign Ministry recommends Germans not to visit. You can if you want to but you shouldn’t, as a German. That you are exposed to more Coronavirus in the Berlin subway system than you will find in most of Spain, for example, makes no difference. A recommendation is a recommendation and red zones are red zones.

Germany’s Foreign Ministry has warned against non-essential travel to the new red zones, where new COVID-19 infections have exceeded 50 cases per 100,000 inhabitants in seven days. Anyone travelling back from such areas will need to undergo a test and go into quarantine pending the results.

In recent weeks, the German authorities have repeatedly warned of a sharp increase in COVID-19 cases. About 15 European Union countries are now on Bonn’s restricted-travel list. In some cases, such as Spain, Luxembourg and the Czech Republic, the entire country is coded red, while in others, only some zones are listed.