Where The Happiest Germans Are?

November 8, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Atlas of Happiness, German, Germans, Germany, Glücksatlas, Happiness, Polls, Studies, Surveys 3 Comments

Like duh. That’s easy. Wherever the most miserable Germans are. They call it Schadenfreude, folks. With a capital S.

Stay out of those orange-looking areas, by the way. You know, places where people like me live? They will NOT be happy to see you.

While in many parts of the world happiness is a purely abstract concept, Germans have come up with a method to measure it. The results from the 2017 yearly survey on life satisfaction, called the “Glücksatlas” (or the “Atlas of Happiness”), have been published on Tuesday…

The gap between the happiest and the unhappiest regions is smaller than ever, with 0.6 points: The people in Schleswig-Holstein top the ranking, with 7.43 points, while Saxony-Anhalt’s population comes last in the listing, with 6.83 points.

Die subjektive Lebenszufriedenheit bleibe auf dem Niveau des Vorjahres und liege auf einer Skala von 0 bis 10 bei 7,07.

German Of The Day: Weltspitze

November 7, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Polls, Surveys, Top 10 Leave a comment

That means world-class. And that’s what Berlin is. Or at the very least European-class. When it comes to crappy airports.

Just like at a survey taken a little earlier this year, of the top ten most horrible airports in all of ze Europe, Berlin Tegel and Berlin Schönefeld got on the short list again, although they only managed ranking ninth and tenth this time. Of course if they counted crappy non-existent airports, Berlin BER would have squeezed in there, too. Or do you think they might have a special consolation prize for that category?

Ein Nutzer schreibt sogar, der Flughafen Berlin Schönfeld sei “der schlechteste Flughafen überhaupt”. Alles sei sehr beengt und zu klein für die vielen Reisenden. „Die Wände, die Fenster und der ganze unsaubere Flughafen erwecken den Eindruck, dass man in einem Gefängnis ist, aus dem man fliehen will“.

OMG We’re All Gonna Die

November 6, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Der Spiegel, Donald Trump, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Journalism, Media 3 Comments

Again. And again and again and again already. This must be the one year anniversary special or something.

Here’s some more of that high-class and balanced Spiegel journalism we have all grown so accustomed to. Jeepers. How can anybody hyperventilate this long? Just a few key terms here will tell you all you need to know about this article (and you thought some folks got carried away with their tweets):

“moral emptiness”
“the erosion of American greatness”
“existential threat to the American Republic”
“nuclear brinkmanship with North Korea”
“erratic belligerence”
“frayed to the breaking point”
“like Britain’s perverse flight from the European Union”
“a blow-up-the-system mood”
“the ultimate provocateur”
“Trump’s ‘America First’ is a slogan of impeccable fascist pedigree”

“After a year of MAGA, it has become clear that a disaster is unfolding whose consequences for humanity and decency will be substantial.”

This Is A Horror Scenario For The Future?

November 5, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bundeswehr, EU, EU Collapse, German, Germans, Germany, Military Planning, Reports, Studies, The Future 1 Comment

It’s already happening now, folks.

“EU enlargement has been largely abandoned, other states have left the community, Europe has lost its global competitiveness… The increasingly disorderly, sometimes chaotic and conflict-prone world has dramatically changed the security environment of Germany and Europe.”

A possible vision for the year 2040? Nope, nobody has to wait that long for this.

In einem der sechs Szenarien (“Die EU im Zerfall und Deutschland im reaktiven Modus”) gehen die Autoren von einer “multiplen Konfrontation” aus. Die Zukunftsprojektion beschreibt eine Welt, in der die internationale Ordnung nach “Dekaden der Instabilität” erodiert, die Wertesysteme weltweit auseinanderdriften und die Globalisierung gestoppt ist.

German Of The Day: Weltkriegsbombe

November 3, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Language, World War Two, Zucchinis 1 Comment

That means second world war bomb.

And that is what this zucchini up there is not, of course, although the retired gardener who discovered this thing mistook it for one and called the cops to come and have it defused.

They didn’t diffuse it directly, of course, but one of the cops cooked up one mean dish of baked Parmesan zucchini. Or certainly could have.

Bombe oder Zucchini? In Baden-Württemberg hat ein Mann die Polizei alarmiert, weil er die Frucht in seinem Garten für eine Weltkriegsbombe hielt.

The Case Of The Missing 30,000 Asylum Seekers

November 2, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Borders, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees 3 Comments

Not only can German citizens now sleep better at night knowing that their borders are secure (now that Austria and other countries are protecting them for them) they can also rest assured knowing that the responsible authorities who are processing the 1.6 million people currently seeking protection in Germany have everything under perfect control.

Or practically everything. Sure, there’s that little thing that just came out about them having lost track of 30,000 rejected asylum seekers, these folks apparently having just disappeared into thin air, nobody has the slightest ideaa where they are and all that but, hey, nobody wants to introduce a police state here in Germany and when you’re talking about 1.6 million, 30,000 are just a hand full of peanuts, right?

“No wonder many people are worried and unsettled. They ask: ‘can the state protect me?’ Politicians must take this insecurity seriously.”

And He Joined Forces With Bigfoot

November 1, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, High Art, Hysteria Tags: CIA, Conspiracy Theories, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Hitler Leave a comment

Adolf Hitler ‘Escaped Germany And Fled To Colombia’ Claims Report In Declassified CIA Document

And he joined forces with Bigfoot, like I said, and got help from the Reptilians, too, to conspire to assaisnate JFK. After which they faked the moon landing along with the Iluminati and planned the attacks on 9/11 as an inside job. But before that they released the Hitler diaries over there at the the Stern.

SS-Mann berichtete Agenten, Hitler habe als Adolf Schüttelmayer in Kolumbien gelebt.

Homeless Go Home!

October 30, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Homeless, Homelessness, Poles 1 Comment

Homeless go home? So you can be, I dunno, homeless there instead?

There were roughly 2,000 homeless in Berlin twenty years ago. Ever since the Eastern European countries have allowed freedom to travel it plain to see that more and more people live in the city’s streets and parks. The railway station mission and Caritas organization estimate that up to 10,000 homeless are stranded in Berlin today.

Half of the rough sleepers in the German capital are Polish nationals, German news outlet Deutsche Welle has reported.

City authorities and charity organisations in Berlin expect Poland and other Central and Eastern European countries to pull their weight in helping their homeless compatriots by providing financial help and social workers, said Ortrud Wohlwend, from the Berlin-based Stadtmission organisation.

Foreign rough sleepers in Germany are not entitled to any help from the state. They do have the right to medical care as EU citizens, however, and may apply for unemployment benefit after five years of living in the country.

Vor zwanzig Jahren, heißt es, hätten rund 2000 Obdachlose in der Stadt gelebt. Seit der Reisefreiheit für osteuropäische Staaten ist aber mit bloßem Auge zu erkennen, dass in der Stadt immer mehr Menschen auf Straßen und in Parks leben. Bahnhofsmission und Caritas schätzen, heute seien bis zu zehntausend Obdachlose in Berlin gestrandet.

German Of The Day: Tapfer

October 25, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Counter-Cuture, Crime, Drug Dealers, Drugs, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Museums, Political Parties, Racism Leave a comment

That means brave or valiant. Yeah, here’s to you tapfer drug dealers hanging out in the parks of Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg.

Only in Berlin, folks. No joke: Somebody over at that district’s museum of local history has set up an exhibition honoring the “undaunted” criminal African drug dealers who carry out their illegal trade despite the slings and arrows of outreageous fortune they are forced to endure like… I dunno. Being pursued by the cops for breaking the law?

Oh yeah, and there’s racism involved, too (there always is). These guys are “in the spotlight of racist animosity” and are the “scapegoats for collective hate” because all they want to do is sell illegal drugs and the system won’t let them do it. Oppression everywhere you look these days, I tell you.

This is an outrage, damn it! That something like this exhibition is possible and it isn’t even meant to be a joke, I mean. Or is it? The more I read this the less sure about it I am.

„Drogendealer leisten einen gesellschaftlich wertvollen und von vielen Menschen geschätzten Dienst – und zwar dort, wo sie gut zu erreichen sind: mitten im Bezirk, vor allem in den Parks.“

PS: Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg is a so-called red-red-green district governed by the Greens, the SPD and the Left Party. Just in case you were wondering.

Which Germany Is This Guy Talking About?

October 24, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Biased Media, Fake News, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Media, News Media, State Control 1 Comment

“Why Germany Is Better at Resisting Fake News”

It’s not the Germany I live in. Germans don’t resist fake news, they roll around in it like pigs in the mud. Only they pretend their news is not fake. Their fake news doesn’t stink, in other words. And their fake news is different than our fake news, of course. Maybe that’s why they can pretend it isn’t fake: German fake news is generated by the government broadcasters and funded by taxation for which the viewers have no representation.

Here is a little example recently to give you an idea of what I mean. If 98 percent negative reporting about Donald Trump done by a state-run broadcasting monopoly isn’t fake news I don’t know what is. Germans would be skeptical about 98 percent negative reporting on Hitler. Nobody here bats an eye about this, however. What is there to resist, right?

More regulation of social media, less news consumption from alternative sources and no Fox News.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness