German Of The Day: Antanzdiebstahl

Antanzan = to “dance” up, as in to show up, make an appearance. Diebstahl = theft or robbery.

Antanzdiebstahl

Antanzen + Diebstahl = Antanzdiebstahl. This new German word refers to a new method of pickpocket robbery that certain new arrival-types to Germany are now using all across the country, “a type of con in which thieves approach victims and hug or otherwise surprise them, with the aim of distracting them in order to pick their pockets.”

Sex attacks and thefts like the ones that happened in Cologne on New Year’s Eve were also reported in 12 other German states, German media say. The information comes from a leaked report of the federal criminal police.

The Freak Show Must Go On

Runway? No way. Me prefer run away instead.

Freak Show

At the Berliner Mode Salon, a sub-event at Berlin Fashion Week , established and young German designers are putting their best face, and designs, forward.

But remember to wear some Mundschutz (a surgical mask) if you attend, folks. There’s some really gross sounding contagious disease spreading like wildfire over there. It’s called gender fluidity. And I, for one, DO NOT want anybody to tell me how I can tell if my fluidity has become gender or not.

Gender fluidity is at the heart of Berlin’s style, ethos, and history. Unisex garments, cross-dressing, and celebrations of androgyny have been prevailing statements in Berlin’s ateliers and on its streets since the city’s cultural inception.

Germany Overall Best Country In Overall Best Of All Possible Worlds

But they still won’t let you do this here:

Refugees

Forget about trying this, too:

Refugees

Germany was ranked the overall best country in the world, according to the rankings released by US News & World Report on Wednesday…

Algeria was perceived as the worst country of the 60, with Ukraine and Iran rated just above.

And always remember: “Please don’t poop in showers.”

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

Pepper Spray’s Scarce These Days

As you all well know, Germans don’t do guns (unlike uncivilized American types). They are a peace-loving, law-abiding Volk.

Pepper Spray

But hot diggity damn do they ever love buying pepper spray! Some would say da liegt der Hase im Pfeffer (the rabbit’s in the pepper) = And that is crux of the matter.

A spate of hundreds of sex assaults allegedly committed mostly by North African men on New Year’s Eve in Cologne has sparked an “explosion in sales” of pepper spray and non-lethal guns, German officials and an industry chief said.

Authorities are investigating more than 670 criminal complaints — almost 350 of them sexual offenses — after hundreds of women were groped and robbed by groups of men outside the main railway station in the western city.

“Die Verkäufe von Pfefferspay sind seit Sommer 2015 angestiegen. Momentan verkaufe ich an einem halben Tag so viele wie sonst in zwei Monaten, 30 bis 50 Stück können da schon mal über den Tresen gehen.”

German Of The Day: Realitätsverweigerung

That means denying reality.

Invasion

It is very popular in Germany at the moment due to the refugee invasion currently taking place, part of the denial process here being that this invasion isn’t even being referred to as one. They call it the refugee question or situation or policy or crisis instead (crisis is clearly leading at the moment).

It has a long tradition. If German reality deniers don’t like the facts, the facts – or at least the ways they view them – just get twisted around (or we are informed by them that “there are no facts at all”). And that’s a fact. Happens all the time. Everything is relative, you see. See moral relativism.

Latest example: The vast majority of perpetrators committing those infamous New Year’s Eve sex attacks were newly-arrived “migrants” from Morocco and Algeria, for instance. Rather than addressing this very real problem, German reality deniers prefer organizing protest rallies against racism instead. Needless to say, these are always well-covered by the media.

This kind of predictable, incoherent reaction makes me feel sometimes like I’m Donald Sutherland’s character in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Have the minds of these people been replaced while they sleep by copies of themselves having some weird, extraterrestrial and, in this case, irrational intelligence? Why are there so many of them acting this way? Is their number increasing? Are the body snatchers going to get me next? I’m going to lay off the sleep for a few months now just to play it safe.

Auch wenn jetzt alle davon reden, man dürfe nichts “unter den Teppich kehren”. Der so hochmoralische wie unehrliche Umgang mit der Flüchtlingsfrage droht uns um die Ohren zu fliegen.

Finding Friends Now Illegal In Germany

If you had any friends, you wouldn’t have to find them, right?

Facebook

And trying to find friends who aren’t your friends yet would only be an imposition and a possible violation of their Gott-given data privacy rights.

So just why are you trying to find these friends, anyway? Do you have some hidden agenda we don’t know about? What are you really up to? And, more importantly, why are you standing on ze corner?

Germany’s Federal Court of Justice has upheld a 2014 judgement that Facebook’s Friend Finder feature is illegal under laws concerning both unwanted commercial promotions and data protection, following an appeal by the social media giant.

The album (Weasels Ripped My Flesh) also documents the brief tenure of Lowell George (guitar and vocals), who went on to found the country-rock band Little Feat with Mothers bassist Roy Estrada . On “Didja Get Any Onya?”, George affects a German accent to relate a story of being a small boy in Germany and seeing “a lot of people stand around on the corners asking questions, ‘Why are you standing on the corner, acting the way you act, looking the way you look, why do you look that way?'”

The Magical Misery Tour

Maybe Angela Merkel can do it, but this Bavarian politician dude down below can’t. He’s mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore.

Refugees

And do not, he repeats, do not return to sender.

A bus carrying 31 Syrian refugees is on the way from southern Germany to Berlin, as a Bavarian district councilor followed up on his pledge to German Chancellor Angela Merkel he’d send refugees her way if his district could no longer provide accommodation for them.

Landshut district councilor Peter Dreier said Thursday he wants to “send a sign that refugee policy cannot continue like this.”

“If Germany takes in a million refugees, that means my district will take in a share of 1,800. I will take them. But any more [refugees] I’ll send by bus to your office in Berlin.”

No Evidence Here

That the Istanbul attacker targeted Germans, we read in the Deutsche Welle.

Istanbul

Sure all ten killed were German but that was absolutely positively a pure coincidence so don’t even go there thinking ridiculous and panicky thoughts like that, German Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere tells his countrymen.

This isn’t an attack against Germany (in Turkey). It’s “an attack against humanity,” he says. So Germans shouldn’t feel threatened in that case. Or I guess that’s what he means by that.

“I see no reason to refrain from trips to Turkey.”

Finally, A German Non-Word Of The Year For The Rest Of Us

Please, someone please have this 2015 winner introduced into the English language ASAP, please (did I say please?): Gutmensch.

Gutmensch

A Gutmensch is a do-gooder or a starry-eyed idealist. Or the term can also be seen as a blanket reproach for being “naive, dumb and worldly innocent, or being someone suffering from helper syndrome or moral imperialism.”

Or if you want a more concrete example of what this kind of non-word ailment can lead to, take a look at what’s going in in Germany right now. That’s right. The Gutmenschen are behind all of this.

Wer Gutmensch sagt, verdient sich seinen Shitstorm.