German Of The Day: Nafris

That’s short for North African men.

Nafris

And the police in Cologne “did good” on New Year’s Eve by aggressively questioning, detaining and expelling the roughly thousand (1000) North African men who came to Cologne’s central station to try to raise hell with German women again, just like they had done the previous year (Why are these multiple offenders still in Germany, you ask? Practically everybody else in Germany is asking themselves that same question these days, too.).

But the police in Cologne “did bad” by using the word Nafris, German Green women tell us. Because, well, that’s short for North African men.

Get it? Me, neither.

Am HBF werden derzeit mehrere Hundert Nafris überprüft. Infos folgen.

Whose Fingers Are These?

Happy New Year already.

Fingers

Police in Leipzig found two fingers somebody had blown off last night that nobody had claimed yet so they called Sherlock Holmes for help, I assume. He must have suggested that they call the emergency medical service number because when they did they were able to locate a patient matching the description perfectly. Missing two fingers, that is.

Somebody in Duisburg blew off three fingers. I haven’t got the missing finger count here in Berlin yet but there were fourteen serious incidents so I’m betting on a least a dozen. The main thing is that everybody has a good time, I say.

Alkohol und Schwarzpulver – eine fatale Mischung für einen Mann, der am Hauptbahnhof gefeiert hatte.

Misleading AND Unsettling

That’s what German agriculture minister Christian Schmidt thinks about food names like “vegetarian schnitzel” and “vegan curry sausage.” He even thinks that names like these should be banned because they mislead and unsettle the public.

Wurst

And I almost agree – those two names unsettle me, for one. Only what do you do about all those other weird traditional German food names out there already? You know, like Leberkäse (liver cheese – neither liver nor cheese inside), Teewurst (tea sausage – no tea), Bierschinken (beer ham – no beer), Baumkuchen (tree cake – no tree), Armer Ritter (poor knight – no knight, poor or otherwise) and Amerikaner (there sure the hell better not be any Americans in there!)? I mean, how misleading and unsettling is that? Let’s cut our loses and call the whole thing off, Herr Minister Schmidt.

Niemand dürfe „bei diesen Pseudo-Fleischgerichten so tun, als ob es Fleisch wäre“, forderte Schmidt.

Is There A Pattern Developing Here?

A group of six men, suspected of trying to set a homeless man on fire in a Berlin subway on Christmas Eve have turned themselves in to police. A seventh man, believed to be the main perpetrator, has been arrested.

U-Bahn

What the Deutsche Welle refuses to tell you here, however, is that six of these men were from Syria and the seventh from Libya, most of them already “polizeilich bekannt” (known to the police). Here illegally (they won’t have any passports, either), known to the police and out and about to participate in lively cultural exchange activities? Didn’t we just have something like that in Berlin recently?

Wie die B.Z. weiter erfuhr, soll es sich bei sechs Verdächtigen um Syrer handeln. Ein weiterer Mann soll aus Libyen stammen.

German Communities To Expand Use Of So-Called “Cameras”

Apparently as a reaction to the latest outcry for better public TV programing, many German municipalities are now suddenly calling for the more wide-spread installation of so-called closed-circuit television “cameras” to offer their captive audiences a more interactive and rewarding viewing experience.

Cameras

They are also calling for a more realistic reevaluation and better treatment methods for the German obsessive-compulsive disorder commonly referred to as “Datenschutz” here, although what that has to do with better public television programming remains unclear to the author as of this writing.

“Derzeit wird in Deutschland vieles, was möglich wäre, mit Hinweis auf den Datenschutz verhindert.”

Everything Under Control

My. This certainly inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Terror

The guy German authorities are now looking for came to the country illegally (no passport). He had served four years in an Italian prison before that for burning down a school. He was wanted in Tunisia for other crimes. He has been committing other crimes since he arrived here in Germany but there have been no consequences. He was under surveillance for six months here because authorities feared he had become radicalized and may have been planning an attack but then they stopped the surveillance once they couldn’t get the specifics they needed to arrest him. He was due to be deported after the authorities finally got around to turning down his asylum application but they couldn’t send him back to Tunisia because he doesn’t have a passport, remember (Tunisia suddenly sent one for him, by the way – after the attack took place)? And then they lost track of him. And the only reason they even know who this guy is is because he was nice enough to leave an identification document and his fingerprints in the murder weapon truck he drove.

Well, at least they saved tons of time here in the chase by having so much information on film, right?

But other than that, the German government assures everyone that everything is under control. Now THAT is terrifying.

Terror Fails In The Failed State Of Berlin

Nothing works here, you know. Think airport, or any of the other construction sites around town that have been built to last forever. Or try getting something done at your local Bürgeramt (no, that’s a “citizen’s office,” not a hamburger joint). And Berliners can boast about having a whole army of brilliant city planners and administrators who are known to have made their counterparts in Venezuela green with envy. And broke? Berlin is so broke that even the debt here is in debt.

Berlin

And yet, nobody seems to care. I don’t know if stoic is the right word, long-suffering is more like it, but Berliners just don’t care. Nothing really shakes them. So now we have the situation where even international terrorist types come up against a brick wall here (another Berlin Wall?). These ISIS or whatever-they-call-themselves-this-week guys are just going to have to come to grips with the fact that Berliners aren’t particularly terrorized by their terror. In fact, they remain “maximally unperturbed” by the attack here yesterday, as Spiegel Online put it. And that pretty much sums it up.

Sad, in a way. If it weren’t all so sad. That these guys are failures goes without saying but to fail in a failed state like Berlin takes a very special kind of loser. Talk about adding insult to injury. What Luschen (duds).

“Eure Stadt fühlt sich sehr ruhig an. Ist Berlin eigentlich immer so?”

Our Fake News Is The Real Fake News

You know, just like our facts are the only facts that count? So don’t even THINK about muscling in on our territory, Facebook and Co.

Fake

EU Parliament President Martin Schulz (SPD) and Germany’s Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) both came out swinging against fake news on Sunday.

In separate press interviews, the two German politicians discussed concrete plans to create laws banning platforms like Facebook from spreading fabricated stories presented as real news, something both men saw as harmful to democracy.

Thank goodness somebody is getting active on this, is all I can say. You need to understand that German state fake news providers not only have the responsibility of upholding the government party line, they must also ensure that those who are forced to finance official fake news production get the very most for their money. The money that isn’t theirs anymore, I mean.

Women These Days

After insulting Western men for years by always insisting upon wearing those God-awful pantsuits, Germany’s defense minister Ursula von der Leyen has forthwith joined the chore of uppity women who now go out of their way to insult Saudi men by not wearing a hijab.

hijab

“The right to choose your own clothing is a right shared by men and women alike,” the snooty German visitor announced in Riyadh. “It annoys me, when women are to be pushed into the Abaya.”

One so-called man then took a hijab at her by tweeting: “The German Defense Minister is wearing that pantsuit in Saudi Arabia deliberately. And everywhere else she goes, too. This is an outrage and an insult to us all.”

“The German Defense Minister: not wearing the hijab in Saudi was deliberate. This is an insult to Saudi Arabia.”