Ultra-Safe German Government Debt?

It’s good to be the king. Isn’t it?

King

More than half of all German government debt with more than one year maturity is now trading negative.

Investors have been warned of dangers of holding German government debt, as unprecedented central bank easing sends the country’s 10-year borrowing costs towards zero.

“If you look at bunds in anything other than the shortest possible timescale, the risk becomes very clear.”

Grass Bites Grass

And I bet he’s greener on the other side now, too.

Grass

No, but seriously folks… He was very outspoken. And he spoke out a lot. And he was a humble social critic.

Too bad he couldn’t just stick to what he was really good at. Writing The Tin Drum, for instance.

During the rise of Nazi Germany and the Second World War, Grass was in the Jungvolk (Hitler Youth) before, aged 17, being drafted into the Waffen-SS, the elite armed wing of the Nazi Party. He only revealed this fact about himself in 2006.

Just Out Of Cold War Storage

Demothball: to remove (naval or military equipment) from storage or reserve, usually for active duty; reactivate.

Leopard 2

Germany plans to bring 100 mothballed tanks back into service in what is widely seen as a response to rising tensions with Russia over Ukraine.

Die im Zuge der Neuausrichtung der Bundeswehr festgelegte Obergrenze von 225 Kampfpanzern Leopard 2 soll auf 320 erhöht werden.

More State Supported Terrorism

Only this time it’s the German state doing it.

Salafist

It’s bad enough that hatemonger Salafist preacher man Abou Nagie wants to turn Germany into an Islamic theocracy – and that’s pretty bad if you stop to think about it for a bit – now it looks like he’s also been ripping off the German welfare system ITSELF in the process. Big-time-like, even. How unethical or something.

While somehow managing to forget about reporting his real earned income (Islamic hate sales are big on the Internet these days), he has taken in over 54,000 euros in Hartz IV (German welfare). The German state has been paying him and his family 1,860 euros a month for quite some time now. The leasing rates for his Mercedes were booked from an accomplice’s account, however.

And this guy calls himself a good Christian?

Laut diesem Buch kommen alle Nicht-Muslime in die Hölle.

This Just In: Germany Suddenly Owes Greece $305 Billion For World War II

Or at least that’s what the Greek parliament just figured out.

Reparations

However, Italy also suddenly owes Greece $216 billion for its invasion in 1940, too, they said.

After that you’ve got the Ottoman Empire owing the Greeks $197 billion for, well, for being Turks.

Then the Roman Empire will also still need to shell out an additional $116 billion for those nasty Macedonian wars.

And then, of course, Iran will have to step up and pay Greece $97 billion for the ugly Persian Invasion back in 484 BC.

This will still leave Greece with a humungous debt, of course, the parliamentarians noted, but nothing that another little loan from their friends in the European Union won’t fix.

No Easter Peace March Planned For Tröglitz This Year

You know, the place where after getting the mayor to hightail it out of town and burning down a planned asylum seekers‘ home on Easter Sunday, right-wing nut jobs are now threatening to behead the local district administrator if asylum seekers start arriving in May as originally planned?

Peace

German peace activists will be protesting against the real forces of evil like NATO, instead. The same procedure as every year, James.

The Easter marches reached their peak in support between 1968 and 1983, when events throughout West Germany brought hundreds of thousands out onto the streets annually to demonstrate against issues such as Washington’s military involvement in Vietnam and the nuclear arms race.

Happy Easter!

Asylum seekers’ accommodation set on fire in suspected far-right arson attack in Germany

Tröglitz

A centre for asylum seekers has been set on fire in a suspected arson attack in Germany.

Police are investigating the blaze in the town of Tröglitz, where the mayor quit last month after a far-right protest was held outside his home.

“This is a lasting disgrace for Tröglitz…that could have many unforeseen consequences.”

This Is News?

Germans found to be Europe’s most aggressive drivers

Driving

Tailgating, shouting insults – nowhere in Europe do drivers react as intensely as they do in Germany, a recent study shows.

Two out of three (67%) admitted to using offensive gestures, and verbal abuse, to insult other drivers.

More than one-third (34%) said they purposefully follow close behind, or otherwise annoy drivers, in order to intimidate them.

PS: Oddity 125. Fun German Games you didn’t know you were participating in: Tailgate Tag. Germans love to drive up to within just a few inches behind the slower moving cars on the left lane of the autobahn and bully them over to the right.

We Know Nothing

Nothing! Not even the last name of this guy. He’s just Andreas L. to us. And that’s why everybody here is so pissed off at some of the German media for revealing, like, his entire name and everything!

Andreas Lubitz

We Germans respect his privacy, you see. Even though he’s dead – along with the other 149 innocent people he killed. Oops! We don’t know that yet. No jumping to conclusions here, folks. At any rate, we’re crazy about privacy. Some say we’re even stark raving mad about it.

In the U.S., it’s standard operating procedure to release the names of people who are suspected of committing a crime. But in Germany, where people are far more sensitive about the line between public and private, that is not done. Critics in the country have cast the move as a reckless rush to judgment, and accuse the media of exploiting the tragedy before all the facts have been established. Others believe that the co-pilot’s family could now face retaliation for the crash.

Analysis of a tablet device belonging to Germanwings Flight 9525 co-pilot Andreas Lubitz shows he researched suicide methods on the Internet in the days leading up to the crash, the public prosecutor’s office in Dusseldorf, Germany, said Thursday.