Sunny, Windy, Costly And Dirty

What’s not to like here?

Super Minister

“Super minister?” I’d say this is more like a job for Superpenner.

The difference between the market price for electricity and the higher fixed price for renewables is passed on to consumers, whose bills have been rising for years. An average household now pays an extra €260 ($355) a year to subsidise renewables: the total cost of renewable subsidies in 2013 was €16 billion. Costs are also going up for companies, making them less competitive than rivals from America, where energy prices are falling thanks to the fracking boom…

Cost is not the only problem with the Energiewende. It has in effect turned the entire German energy industry into a quasi-planned economy with perverse outcomes. At certain times on some days, sun and wind power may provide almost all German electricity. But the sun does not always shine, especially in winter, and the wind is unpredictable. And “batteries”—storage technologies that, for example, convert power to gas and back again to electricity—on a scale sufficient to supply a city are years away. Nuclear-power plants are being phased out (this week’s court decision that the closure of a plant in Hesse was illegal will raise costs even more, as it may entitle the operator to more compensation). So conventional power plants have to stay online in order to assure continuous supply. 

I Think It Should Have Been Superpenner

Sozialtourismus has just been selected by the Brain Police as Germany’s Unwort des Jahres (non-word of the year). It means “social tourism” and is terribly cynical and politically incorrect as it refers to “unwanted immigrants from eastern Europe” who come to Germany to presumably milk all the wonderful social benefits here, something of course social tourists from eastern Europe or elsewhere would never, ever do.

Word

Non-word of the year? The year has just begun, hasn’t it? And there are way more cool non-words out there that are much more deserving, if you ask me (I know you didn’t, but I’m telling you anyway). How about Superpenner (Super Bum), for instance? Bum is totally politically incorrect, too (that is what they used to call the homeless) and super is, well, super. So there.

Anyway, in case you didn’t know, Superpenner is a new comic action hero who has now arrived to save Berlin. And it’s about freakin’ time, too. To save it from all of those Straßenfeger (street sweeper) newspaper salesmen who accost us with their sales pitches in the U-Bahn all day long. I can hear it already: “Now with the Supperpenner comic book!”

Berlins Straßen haben einen neuen Helden: Den Superpenner – wenn auch nur auf dem Papier. Der Comic-Actionhero soll den Absatz der Berliner Obdachlosenzeitung Straßenfeger steigern.

One Million Dollars!

Unlike in Germany, where at least fifty percent of all German politicians stem from working-class families, where none are susceptible to bribery or lobbying influence and most can just barely make ends meet on the meager remuneration they receive (or so I must assume, to judge by the outrage here), word is out that more than half of Amerika’s lawmakers are now “worth at least $1 million” (although I personally have always held them all to be priceless).

Dollars

This is a scandal or something. This has never ever been the case before because American politicians, gosh darn it, up until now anyways, never ever used to enter politics just to obtain money and/or power. In the past, I mean. Something bad has now apparently happened. Or something. That is why we must look to Germany for the answer, as usual.

Everything here in Germany works better, you see. This is because Germany is a so-called “classless” society. But with class. Just go and ask the folks here who run the country. They’ll tell you.

In Deutschland ist die “Millionärswahl” eine TV-Show, in den USA Realität.

This Time Google Really Has Gone Too Far

Google Maps has, I mean.

Hitler

Sure, Theodor-Heuss-Platz may not exactly roll right off the lips for some of us here but to rename the thing Adolf-Hitler-Platz simply does not solve the problem.

Der Berliner Theodor-Heuss-Platz ist beim Google Kartendienst Maps zeitweise auch als Adolf-Hitler-Platz bezeichnet worden. So hieß der Platz im Bezirk Charlottenburg-Wilmersdorf in der Nazizeit von 1933 bis 1945.

ALDI?

As in ALDI drugs you want?

ALDI

Workers at five stores in and around Berlin were surprised to find cocaine packed into crates of bananas on Monday. Olaf Schremm, the head of Berlin’s anti-drugs squad said the crates had come from Colombia via the German port of Hamburg and the discovery was “pure chance”.

140 Kilo Kokain wurden in Aldi-Filialen in Berlin sowie in Velten (Oberhavel) entdeckt. Das Rauschgift war in Bananenkisten verpackt. Den Ermittlern zufolge handelt es sich um den größten Berliner Drogenfund seit Jahren.

Over A Dozen Hamburg Occupy Occupants Now Without Occupation

Germany’s oldest “Occupy” camp, thought to have been established sometime during the late Römerzeit (Roman Age), was cleared yesterday by brutal financial shark-like city cleaning employees in a hush-hush operation that had been announced several weeks before.

Occupy

Many of the occupants were caught unawares in their sleep yesterday afternoon when the profit-greedy imperialist lackeys stormed the camp with brooms, trash bins and protective breathing devices, forcing the dirty dozen of unemployed occupiers into unemployment somewhere else.

Now that the “Occupy” movement has been crushed for good in Germany, many here miss its romantic lack of class struggle and crude fear-mongering antics already and have most likely begun occupying themselves with inventing other forms of worldwide occupation-like phenomena that will also lead to absolutely nothing whatsoever at all one day but will at least feel kind of sort of like they maybe could have, as long as they don’t get too uncomfortable or begin to resemble anything that demands any real commitment or anything, that is.

“Wir wurden von diesem Räumkommando überrascht”, sagte ein Demonstrant der noch etwa ein Dutzend Mitglieder umfassenden “Occupy”-Gruppe. Eigentlich sollte das Lager jedoch schon bis zum 31. Dezember abgebaut werden.

PS: USA Forcing Iraq To Defend Itself Again

That Sure Looks Like A UFO To Me

A 4-meter-long UFO landed near a place called Zwickau yesterday and nobody there seemed to notice and/or much care.

UFO

I guess this kind of thing happens down here all the time (what else are you going to do in Zwickau?). Unfortunately for the rest of humanity, the object in question turned out to be a remote-controlled mini-me-Zeppelin and no trace of the alien intelligence responsible for its construction has yet been found.

Später stellte sich heraus: Bei dem Ufo handelt es sich um einen ferngesteuerten Zeppelin, der „Ufo-Konstrukteur“ ist ein Hobby-Modellflieger aus dem Ort.