Good Deportees Are Hard To Find In Germany These Days

In fact, any kind of deportees are hard to find in Germany these days.

Deportees

But at least we know that they are here in Germany, authorities assure the worried public. What other country would put up with this madness?

A German federal police report says that deportation orders were up 17 percent, but that actual deportations were down 4 percent. Meanwhile, the labor minister argues that some of those being deported shouldn’t be.

More than half of the ordered migrant deportations failed to be carried out through May, in almost all cases because the individual could not be located, a German newspaper reported on Sunday.

Through the first five months of the year nearly 24,000 people were ordered to be returned to their home country but only about 11,000 deportations were completed, according to an internal report by the federal police that was first reported by the Welt am Sonntag.

“How we deal with the migration issue will determine whether Europe will last.”

German Of The Day: Zusage

That means pledge – like the one Germany just made (increase in defense spending to 2% by 2024 instead of 2028 or 2030).

Zusage

President Donald Trump appeared to declare victory on Thursday in his battle with America’s closest allies to get them to contribute more money to the NATO alliance. Mr. Trump acknowledged that he had taken a tough stance with his European counterparts, demanding they contribute more of their national budgets to defense and saying after Thursday’s meetings, “they upped their commitments and I am very happy…”  

Under fire for his warm embrace of Russia’s Vladimir Putin, Mr. Trump on Wednesday turned a harsh spotlight on Germany’s own ties to Russia, alleging that a natural gas pipeline venture with Moscow has left Angela Merkel’s government “totally controlled” and “captive” to Russia.

Auch Deutschland habe große Zusagen gemacht – das Zwei-Prozent-Ziel solle nun wesentlich früher erreicht werden als ursprünglich geplant – laut Trump nicht erst 2028 oder 2030, sondern schon 2024.

We Can Do It

Sure we can. As in you can. At least that’s what she said. But she never said how long it would take.

Wir schaffen das“: we can do it. That was German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s mantra three years ago, when Germany welcomed more than a million asylum seekers. This week, she was forced to find a compromise that included strengthening borders and promising to send migrants back. Hundreds of thousands of cases are currently before the courts. At one Berlin courthouse, two-thirds of procedures involve asylum seekers and the workload has increased significantly. Our correspondents report.

Wir schaffen das.

It’s not like you have any choice. Nobody gave you one.

German Of The Day: Transitzentren

That means transit centers – for migrants entering Germany through Austria. And these transit centers are the price Angela Merkel (CDU) had to pay Horst Seehofer (CSU) to keep her government together, at least for a little longer.

Tranzitzentren

The CSU-CDU compromise:

1. A new border regime at the German-Austrian border that prevents asylum seekers from entering Germany if it is the responsibility of other EU countries to process their asylum claim.

2.  Transit centers from which asylum seekers are returned directly to the country where they first arrived in the EU (if that country agrees)

3. In cases of refusal by the country of first arrival to sign up to the deal with Germany, the rejected asylum seeker will be turned away at the  German-Austrian border under an agreement with Austria

Man hätte es fast nicht mehr für möglich gehalten. Aber Edmund Stoiber ist immer noch da. Oder wieder. Und er sieht noch mürrischer aus als er es früher oft getan hat.

They Keep Getting My Hopes Up

But they’re not going to sucker punch me this time, either. Not when they come at me with this “Merkel is in big trouble and this could be the end” stuff.

Merkel

I’ve been through this too often before. I will not be swayed by their Chruchill-esque come-on: “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” I mean, wouldn’t it be great if it really were the end of the beginning? I’ll take the beginning of the end if necessary but the end of the beginning would be way cooler. If it can’t be the actual end, I mean. The actual end would be best of all, of course. That goes without saying. But we’re not there yet. Or are we? Damn it! Here they go tricking me into getting my hopes up again.

A resolution to Germany’s government crisis proved elusive Sunday after the head of the Bavaria-only Christian Social Union in Angela Merkel’s conservative bloc offered his resignation rather than back down from his stance against the chancellor’s migration policies…

If Seehofer does step down, it is not immediately clear what effect the move would have on a three-week impasse between Merkel and her CSU partners, which has centered on his resolve to turn away some types of asylum-seekers at Germany’s borders.

„Dass es ernst ist, weiß jeder.”

It’s Like Pulling Teeth

To get this woman to do anything, I mean.

Merkel

Angela Merkel’s friends and enemies lined up in Berlin on Friday morning to defend and attack the chancellor after she stayed up for hours with EU leaders in Brussels hammering out a common European Union plan on keeping out more asylum-seekers.

The ultimate question was whether Merkel had found a deal satisfactory enough to appease her Bavarian allies. The Christian Social Union (CSU) precipitated a government coalition crisis in the past few weeks by insisting that asylum-seekers who had already registered in other countries be turned away at the German border.

“It is the result of a debate in Germany that the migration issue is finally being addressed more strongly at an EU level.”

Alle CSU-Forderungen hat der EU-Gipfel nicht erfüllt. Dennoch gehen die Beschlüsse so weit in Richtung Abschottung, dass selbst Kanzler Kurz zufrieden ist. Ein Erfolg ist die Einigung, weil Europa auf gemeinsame Lösungen setzt.

German Of The Day: Totgesagte Leben Länger

That means “those declared dead live longer” or there’s life in the old dog yet.

Merkel

Sure, Angela Merkel’s approval rating has long become a disapproval rating and nearly half of Germans polled would like to see her step down now but what does that have to do with anything? There is no direct balloting for the office of Chancellor or they would have voted her out of office years ago. The parliamentary majority decides. And harmless little old Angela Merkel has spent years bumping off anyone in her party who could even remotely pose a threat to her position as boss lady. Nope, things will just keep plugging along, one painful step in the wrong direction after the other. Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie? Same procedure as every year, James.

By the way, did you know that most great catastrophes don’t just happen suddenly, out of nowhere and overnight? They usually result after a long accumulation of smaller mishaps, mistakes and poor decisions has taken place.

Berlin. Angesichts der aktuellen Regierungskrise um die Asylpolitik ist fast jeder zweite Deutsche für eine Ablösung von Bundeskanzlerin Angela Merkel. In einer Umfrage des Meinungsforschungsinstituts YouGov sprachen sich 43 Prozent dafür aus, dass Merkel zurücktritt und ihr Amt an einen Nachfolger oder eine Nachfolgerin übergibt.

“Spying Among Friends Is Never Acceptable”

Go ask Angela Merkel, she’ll tell you.

Austria

Certain countries are above all that. Being located on the moral high ground like they are, you know.

Vienna has demanded an explanation from Berlin over reports that Germany’s BND agency spied on nearly 2,000 targets in Austria between 1999 and 2006. Austrian media said embassies were among the targets.

Top Austrian officials have called on Germany to clarify reports that its BND spy agency snooped on high-profile targets including embassies, international organizations, Austrian ministers and banks based in the Austrian capital…

Following revelations by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden in 2013, German Chancellor Angela Merkel slammed the US for its extensive spying on targets in Germany. “Spying among friends is not at all acceptable,” she famously said in the wake of the scandal.

Crisis? What Crisis?

It’s not like the migrant crisis I singlehandedly caused is a crisis or anything. They just call it that.

Ricin

Or that this so-called migrant crisis I unleashed also caused the surge in populism that is currently surging in Germany. Or that any of these so-called migrants are endangering the German public. They’re not. It’s those yuicky terrorists that came into the country illegally with them. When they came into the country illegally, I mean. What, me worry?

Not Angela Merkel. She’s the Blob. Changes form at will. And nobody can lift her up out of that chair. Right?

Not even 100 days after she negotiated her way to a fourth term as German leader, Angela Merkel is mired in a political crisis that underscores Europe’s divisions over immigration amid a surge in populism.

Das in Köln sichergestellte Rizin hätte für Hunderte toxische Dosen gereicht. Verfassungsschutzpräsident Maaßen nimmt an, dass mit dem Gift ein Anschlag geplant war.

A Little Bit Of Ricin Isn’t Going To Hurt Anybody

Not after an even smaller bit of ricin already killed everybody off first.

Ricin

The next Syrian refugee (this time a Tunisian Syrian refugee from Tunisia) has been caught misbehaving again. German police are questioning the 29-year-old after having stormed his apartment in Cologne and finding this interesting substance, should these reports be of substance.

Daily newspaper Express and local daily Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger reported that police had found ricin, a substance that can be highly toxic in small amounts. Authorities have not confirmed the reports…

Elite SEK police commandos and specialized chemical units from the police and fire departments were at the scene of the 18-story apartment block in Cologne’s northern Chorweiler district late on Tuesday. A mobile laboratory was set up in the entrance area of the apartment to analyze any dangerous substance.

German public broadcaster, WDR, quoted the attorney general as saying that there were indications that the person arrested may have planned an attack with the substances.

EXPRESS und „Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger“ erfuhren aus Ermittlerkreisen, um was für eine Substanz es sich handeln soll, die bei dem SEK-Großeinsatz am Dienstagabend in der Wohnung des Tatverdächtigen aufgefunden wurde: Rizin ist der drittgiftigste Stoff der Welt – 25.000-mal tödlicher als Strychnin.

PS: Just in case you were wondering (see yesterday’s post), North Korea won!