Denis Cusper, Deso Dogg or Abu Talha al-Alman?
Personally, I’d go with Denis Da Dogg. I mean, he is still trying to sell records, right?
The U.S. State Department has designated a German rapper an international terrorist due to his work as a “willing pitchman” for ISIS, including an appearance in a recruitment video holding a severed head, NBC News reports.
I got your Haftbefehl for you right here, pal.
Berlin officials have reacted angrily to a series of fake, Nazi-style ads purporting to be part of the German capital’s campaign for the 2024 Olympics.
The spoof ads appeared last week on a satirical blog called Metronaut. Several of the ads were based on actual posters from the 1936 Berlin Olympics, which Adolf Hitler used to showcase Nazi Germany to the world.
City officials issued demands via lawyers on Monday to remove their logo and names from the ads.
Metronaut’s co-founder, John F. Nebel, says the ads were meant to spark a discussion about the darkest chapter in Berlin’s history.
Although President Obama just went out of his way to stress that Russia’s aggression against Ukraine only reinforces the unity of the US and Europe to not do anything about it, Chancellor Merkel’s visit to Washington today nevertheless made clear once again just how wide their views differ when it comes down to the how-not-to-do-anything-about-it part.
Washington, on the one hand, prefers talking about maybe sending weapons someday perhaps but let’s not rush into things because these are weapons we’re talking about here after all people while Merkel, for her part, categorically rejects the idea of sending weapons that are never going to be sent anyway, preferring instead more negotiations about negotiations with whoever feels like negotiating about anything at anytime anywhere, stressing here how crucial it was “that the West stand up for Ukraine,” provided, of course, that this remain a purely figurative expression devoid of anything that could even remotely be interpreted as meaning “like actually standing up for Ukraine or anything.”
“If we give up this principle of territorial integrity of countries, then we will not be able to maintain the peaceful order of Europe.”
A “joke cookie” here is what we call a wisecracker. You know, a jokester? Take this jokester here at Tegel Airport today (this guy really kills me).
He’s getting ready to board his flight with his girlfriend for their vacation in Florida, right? So they’re having a look at his carry-on bag and he says – now get this – “There’s a bomb inside.” Funny. As. Scheiße! Don’t you think? And original, too. But the real punch line part only comes around a little later: He wasn’t allowed to take that flight, screws up his vacation, impresses his girlfriend big-time forever and then gets charged with another cool German word: Ordnungswidrigkeit (an administrative offense or infraction)! Hardy, har, har. Brilliant joke cookie stuff who needs the crackers?
Some people are just more funny than other people are, I’ve found. Evolution wants it that way or something.
Like this guy’s uncle here earlier in the week (I’m assuming of course it just has to be this guy’s uncle). He walked in through security control at Tegel with a revolver and 43 rounds of ammunition in his carry-on bag because – now get this – he didn’t know it was in there! Ha, ha. Apparently the bag had been given to him when his father died and he had never bothered to look inside before and just grabbed the thing at random when he needed a bag for his flight. Hilarious stuff.
But how on earth do they manage to think any of this up?
“Dieser sensible Sicherheitsbereich ist einfach kein Ort für schlechte Scherze.”
Otherwise known for his extremist views, Berlin Imam Sheikh Abdel Moez al-Eila has proclaimed that a wife should be confined to her husband’s home and should never refuse him sex.
Now he didn’t explicitly say that it had to be really good sex, too but some things kind of go without saying. Now that’s what I call old-time religion.
Claiming that when he first married his wife, she was “pretty and slim” and that she “used to say nice things to him,” al-Eila bemoans that he has been left with a “fat” wife with a “gloomy face.”
If a man is tempted by another woman who “arouses” him in the street, al-Eila claims that the Prophet Muhammad had the remedy when he apparently said that the man “…should go home quickly and have sex with his wife and Allah will immediately remove the urge from his heart.”
And when North Korea demands something, the Berlinale listens.
Organizers here quickly buckled under pressure and have now sheepishly agreed to take the film not being shown on their program off their program immediately. The wussies.
Somewhere along the line, because of the February 5th start dates, North Korea’s Foreign Ministry misinterpreted that The Interview was an official entrant in the 65th annual Berlinale. As a result, North Korean’s state-run broadcast issued a statement demanding that the film not screen at the festival, which it’s not and never was scheduled to. An organizer for the film festival spoke to the North Korean ambassador to Germany to clear up the misunderstanding.
That means taking the initiative. You know, as in arresting two Salafists in Berlin Wedding on suspicion of recruiting fighters for Isis in Syria?
And it’s about freaking time, people. And congratulations to Belgium on their fine catch, too.
Following the recent attacks in Paris and the thwarting on Thursday of a terrorist plot in Belgium, 250 officers simultaneously raided 11 addresses across the German capital.
Here’s where we say this had nothing to do with Islam (other religions have this kind of stuff done in their names all the time, you know).
And getting back to Pegida… How could anyone possibly have anything bad to say about the potential Islamization danger in Germany? Or, well, in France for that matter.
“All diejenigen, die bisher die Sorgen der Menschen vor einer drohenden Gefahr durch Islamismus ignoriert oder verlacht haben, werden durch diese Bluttat Lügen gestraft.”
This is all starting to bug me a litta…
Germany is preparing itself for the first wave of PEGIDA demonstrations of the new year. The anti-Islamization movement has been steadily growing in popularity as the demonstrations reach their fourth month.
On Monday, the first marches of 2015 will also see the first turnout of protesters in the country’s capital, Berlin. Playing on the city’s bear mascot, “Bärgida” currently has just short of 600 people listed as attending on the Facebook event page. More are expected to march on Monday evening, however.
