Germans Concerned That Obama Maybe Could Might Not Be Reelected Doch Nicht (After All) Perhaps

October 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Debt, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Humor, Obama, Political Science, Romney, Satire, Unemployment, USA, Washington Leave a comment

Germans everywhere are all aflutter these days at the prospect of their United States President maybe not being automatically reelected after all, like which ought to be selbstverständlich (understood) or something but isn’t irgendwie (somehow).

German political scientists have namely just discovered that the unemployment rate in the US of Obama is well over 8 percent (and has been during the entire Obama administration), poverty levels are way up (3.6 million more Americans live off state support than before he entered office), the rate of founding new companies is at a thirty year low, government spending and debt have risen to incredible levels and the economy will simply not kick into gear, with no recovery or White House plan to change any of this in sight (and with no George W. Bush in sight to blame anymore, either).

Otherwise though, Obama is still the perfect guy for the job. So alles wird gut (everything will fall into place), they HOPE (way cool slogan from somebody a few years back).

Gouverneur Martin O’Malley geriet in Verlegenheit. Ob es den Menschen besser gehe als vor vier Jahren, wollte ein Reporter von dem demokratischen Gouverneur Marylands wissen. “Nein”, hatte O’Malley geantwortet.

Nothing New And Nothing Improved

September 26, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Banking, Banks, Berlin, Debt Crisis, Elections, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties, Regulation, Socialism, SPD, Steinbrück, The Three Stooges Leave a comment

That tired old SPD.

With three tired old SPD guys trying to decide which one of them will have to be the one tired old SPD guy who will have to be the contender in next year’s election against the ridiculously popular Angela Merkel.

So like one of them, former Finance Minister Peer Steinbrück, threw his hat into the ring yesterday, sort of.

His angle? Eat the banks. Split their investment and retail units and have them create their own rescue fund and make them be good and nice again like they used to be in the past (I guess) als die Welt noch in Ordnung war (when the world was still in order).

Been there, done that. Yawn already. Bring out the next stooge and let’s get him over with, too.

“Banks are service providers and not betting shops.”

The Amazing Disappearing Political Party

September 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Chaos, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Political Parties, Satire, The Pirate Party, The Pirates Leave a comment

Who says that in-fighting and a complete absence of credibility, character, policy, tactics or strategy can’t get you anywhere? It got Germany’s Pirate Party to nowhere fast. So you better take one quick look at them while you still can.

They’re down to five percent in the polls at the moment, and sinking fast. But let’s move on now and just try to remember them for all the good things they accomplished while they were still here among the living (hell if I know, I thought you might have).

Die Piraten liegen einer neuen Umfrage zufolge nur noch bei fünf Prozent und müssen damit um den Einzug in den Bundestag bangen.

How To Throw In The Towel And Do A Comeback In Just Five Short Months!

May 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: Berlin, Elections, FDP, Free Markets, German, Germans, Germany, North Rhine-Westphalia, Political Parties, Politics, The Free Democrats 2 Comments

Before.

And after.

A lot can happen in five (5) months. Well a lot sure did for this guy.

The FDP, which supports free markets and low taxes, has traditionally been a kingmaker in German politics… Frustrated with his party’s squabbling leadership, he (Christian Lindner) stepped down as general secretary of the FDP on a national level late last year. But in March the party picked him as its lead candidate in state legislative elections in North Rhine-Westphalia, and got an immediate boost in national opinion polls.

Ya Gotta Have Dreamers

April 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, History, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Capitalism, Economic Liberalism, Elections, FDP, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Laissez-faire, Liberalism, Libertarians, Political Parties, Satire, Socialism, The Free Market 2 Comments

The FDP (Free Democratic Party) may now be fighting for its very survival again in Germany, but this is certainly nothing new. They have always had it tough here, and with good reason: They are the only classical liberal (as in free market) party to be found here for miles around.

The astounding thing about the FDP is that they can even get any votes at all in Germany. Terms like “free market” and “privatization” make most Germans cringe. And if they absolutely positively have to use bad words like that, they prefer more watered-down terminology like “Soziale Marktwirtschaft” instead, an imaginary German construction promising “a middle path between socialism and laissez-faire economic liberalism.” Socialism, in other words.

Anyway, with a big state election coming up in North Rhine-Westphalia next month (end of the month?), the FDP is now pulling out its big guns, as little as they are. Or at least one or two FDP politicians are. One guy called Frank Schäffler, for instance, has seriously suggested a radical program change to include “the elimination of all state aid and the partial privatization of the state-run public broadcasting services ARD and ZDF” in Germany. The key words here are “in Germany,” folks.

Is this guy a visionary or just plain deranged?

Dream on, FDP. But please, keep on dreaming.

„Mehr Mut zu Recht und Freiheit“

It’s OK That Obama Got Caught Saying That

March 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bloopers, Blunders, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Journalism, Media, Medwedew, Microphones, Obama, Politicians, Putin, Satire, South Korea Leave a comment

Der Spiegel rushes to tell us.

Because other politicians have been caught on mic saying bad things, too.

Only they were bad. So there.

“Nach meiner Wahl habe ich mehr Flexibilität.”

Gazprom Gerd Strikes Again

March 7, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Elections, Gas, Gazprom, Germans, Germany, Humor, Putin, Russia, Satire, Schroder 1 Comment

Former chancellor Gerhard Schroeder (SPD) is always good for popping a cork or two.

This time he’s ruffled a few German feathers by getting all warm and fuzzy about his good old buddy Vladimir Putin again. More specifically about Putin’s stunning (not) election victory over the weekend, praising him for being the “flawless democrat” that he is.

But this is nothing new. Schroeder has always been generous with praise for Putin. Especially since landing that 1 million euro-per-year consulting job from him at Gazprom’s Nord Stream consortium – just a few months (weeks?) after having left office.

It’s the gas, stupid.

Wes Brot ich ess, des Lied ich sing.

Republicans Hurting European Feelings Again

January 9, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Berlin, Elections, Europe, Europeans, German, Germans, Germany, Gingrich, Humor, Republicans, Romney, Satire Leave a comment

And when they’re not doing that they’re hurting each other’s feelings – by calling each another too European. Yikes. Talk about hitting below the belt (but somebody’s got to do it).

It’s a scandal or something. And I’m shocked, I guess (I really thought they would have more powerful stuff than this). But some of these are pretty good, actually:

“Obama wants to turn the US into a European welfare state.”

“I don’t believe in Europe. I believe in America.”

“I don’t think Europe is working in Europe. I know it won’t work here.”

“You want to see America after the Obama administration is through, just read up on Greece.”

“Obama has a European social democratic vision.”

“American elites are guided by their desire to emulate the European elites. As a result, anti-religious values and principles are coming to dominate the academic, news media and judicial class in America.”

“The president said he wants to fundamentally transform America. I kind of like America. I’m not looking for it to be fundamentally transformed into something else. I don’t want it to become like Europe.”

Recently, RC Hammond, the spokesman for Newt Gingrich’s campaign, commented on Mitt Romney’s alleged support for a value added tax. “The fact that he’s willing to look at European Socialism shows just how far out of the conservative mainstream he is.”

Just In Case You Didn’t Know Who To Vote For

December 1, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Der Spiegel, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Republicans, Satire, The Tea Party 5 Comments

Der Spiegel http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,800850,00.html (sorry, having trouble with the posting today) has put together a highly nuanced and in depth political analysis about US Republican presidential candidates. It is called “A Club of Liars, Demagogues and Ignoramuses.”

Here are just a few of the more insightful insights:

The current crop of candidates have shown such a basic lack of knowledge that they make George W. Bush look like Einstein (so like they don’t like Einstein, or what?).

They lie. They cheat. They exaggerate. They bluster. They say one idiotic, ignorant, outrageous thing after another (good thing we have the Democrats as an alternative).

The US elections are a reality show after all, a pseudo-political counterpart to the Paris Hiltons, Kim Kardashians and all the “American Idol” and “X Factor” contestants littering today’s TV (I don’t get this but it sounds like it must be astute or something).

The Grand Old Party is ruining the entire country’s reputation (uh, what reputation are we talking about here anyway?).

…Which goes to show that this “movement” (the Tea Party), sponsored by Fox News, has never been interested in the actual business of governing or in the intelligence and intellect that it requires. They are only interested in marketing themselves, for ratings and dollars (if given the choice I’d take the ratings at the moment).

Americans have a short memory (this one sure does, I’ve forgotten your article already).

Wayne’s World

September 19, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helections, High Art, History Tags: Berlin, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Pirates, Politics, Satire, The Pirate Party 7 Comments

Kennst Du Wayne? Wayne es interessiert?

Is anybody here really supposed to care that the Pirate Party, “a party in tune with the Berlin vibe” (and a cheap if not even flakier immitation of the Swedish original) attracted enough votes to win its first ever seats in the Berlin state parliament yesterday?

Nothing aginst Internet freedom activist freaks or anything, I just don’t want to have to deal with them in the non-virtual world like this.

Of course the real news is that the FDP (a real live party from Planet Earth) got tossed out. Hey, Scheiße happens.

And here you thought California was the land of nuts, flakes and fruits.

“Wir werden als erstes auf die Laternen klettern und unsere Plakate wieder runterholen.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Elections