77 + 13 = Null Ahnung

Null means zero in German. Null Ahnung means “I have no idea” or “I haven’t a clue.”

Gone

So just do the math:

The other day we found out that 77 percent of the migrants who came to Germany in January did so without having any identification papers. Now we learn that 13 percent of all migrants located in Germany just get up and, well, disappear. They get registered with the authorities somewhere when they arrive and then puff! They’re gone.

Ergo… When it comes to migrants in Germany, this 77 + 13 = uhm, wait a second… nearly 100 percent “I have no idea” or “I haven’t a clue” about what the hell is going on here in this country anymore. And something tells me I’m not the only one.

Knapp jeder achte registrierte Flüchtling verschwindet nach seiner behördlichen Erfassung.

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Politicians Making Promises They Can’t Keep?

This is something new, right? Well, in a way, it is. I mean, usually they make them to the people who elect them. This time they were made to total strangers.

Lindner

“Frau Merkel gave the insupportable promise that anyone seeking a new life can find one in Germany. She created the impression that the limits of our capacity to absorb them are infinite. She created chaos there where nothing is more important than order and regulation. And this not only in Germany but all over Europe…”

“Instead of this, Frau Merkal should follow the Swedish example and publicly concede that we are unable to cope with these numbers and that the people please stop making their way to us. Secondly we need a modern immigration law. Not someday. Right now.”

Frau Merkel hat das unhaltbare Versprechen gegeben, dass jeder, der ein neues Leben sucht, es in Deutschland finden kann. Sie hat den Eindruck erweckt, die Grenzen unserer Aufnahmefähigkeit seien unendlich. Sie hat dort, wo nichts wichtiger ist als Ordnung und Regeln, Chaos angerichtet. Und zwar nicht nur in Deutschland, sondern auch in Europa…

Frau Merkel sollte stattdessen erstens dem schwedischen Beispiel folgen und öffentlich einräumen, dass wir mit den Zahlen überfordert sind, und die Menschen, bitte, sich nicht auf den Weg zu uns machen. Zweitens brauchen wir ein modernes Einwanderungsgesetz. Nicht irgendwann, sondern jetzt.

The Amazing Disappearing Political Party

Who says that in-fighting and a complete absence of credibility, character, policy, tactics or strategy can’t get you anywhere? It got Germany’s Pirate Party to nowhere fast. So you better take one quick look at them while you still can.

They’re down to five percent in the polls at the moment, and sinking fast. But let’s move on now and just try to remember them for all the good things they accomplished while they were still here among the living (hell if I know, I thought you might have).

Die Piraten liegen einer neuen Umfrage zufolge nur noch bei fünf Prozent und müssen damit um den Einzug in den Bundestag bangen.

The German Embassy Got Stormed?

Who cares? The KFC got torched.

Good thing that this was a day of prayer. Otherwise the violence would have been much worse.

Die Botschaft hat nach Angaben des Außenministeriums teilweise in Flammen gestanden. Laut Berichten aus Khartum befestigten die Angreifer zudem eine schwarze Flagge mit arabischer Aufschrift am Eingang.

Going, Going…

Pirates!

This is what happens when you fail to deliver (even when nobody ever really knew what you were supposed to deliver in the first place). Hey, what goes around comes around. Or was it what comes around goes away? I, for one, thought they’d never be von gestern (yesterday’s news).

“Since the Pirates have been around, the optical decorum has lapsed, and it’s undignified.”

Big 25th Anniversary Celebrations Scheduled For Tomorrow

Damn. It seems just like yesterday that Berlin’s first May Day March Freak Show Riot began. And it ain’t ended yet, 25 long years later. It’s just become more, well, ritualized, profesionalized and – you guessed it – commercialized.

But tradition is tradition. So please remember, all you hotheads out there (despite all the commercialization), just what this day really means, what it’s all about: Violence for violence sake.

YOU are here for a reason, people. So get out there and make me proud.

 „Die Berliner haben dieses Ritual satt.”

Gentrification Giants 1 – Subculture Vultures 0

An evicted group of about 20 subculture artist/activist types chained to the remains of Berlin’s graffiti-covered Tacheles alternative scene “living space” ruin is about to be forcibly dragged out kicking and screaming into German reality by black-clad gentrification special forces troops right here live on TV, I hope, but nobody can tell me when. Or on which channel or anything (maybe later in the Internetz?).

The group is defending “one of Berlin’s last bastions of alternative subculture, and are fighting eviction ahead of plans to develop it (the Tacheles) as an office and luxury apartments complex” and has to be dealt with accordingly, of course. After years of pussyfooting around with them first, I mean.

I would advise them not to let the door hit them on the way out but there are no doors at the Tacheles as they were surely used as firewood  long ago during one of those quaint, Stone Age let’s-not-freeze-to-death-tonight gettogethers so popular with artist types there and elsewhere here in Berlin.

Tacheles “is just the latest in a long line of public spaces that have been lost to private investors” and will surely be missed by all, myself not included.

Darko stands behind an iron gate, his bare chest daubed in red paint with the words “victim of bank.”

PS: This German subculture is not to be confused with this other German subculture here.

Neidgesellschaft

This is a German word meaning a society based on envy (Germany, in other words).

A 27-year-old Berliner told police that being unemployed and in debt led him to set 67 cars alight over three months.

Damn. This guy must have been one of those 99% out there, if you know what I’m sayin’. If you follow their thinking to his logical conclusion, I mean.

“I’ve got debts, my life stinks and others with fancy cars are better off and they deserve this.”

 “Er fand, dass es vielen Menschen besser ging als ihm.”

PS: Speaking of Wall Street, sort of… What’s the real problem with Wall Street? “When you subsidize recklessness, you unsurprisingly get a lot more of it.”

International Solidarity with England

Nine cars went up in flames last night in Berlin.

The part that I don’t get: Police say every second burning is politically motivated.

Does that mean that the other half gets ignated just for fun?

No, I stand corrected. I don’t get any of this.

Von einer breit organisierten Tätergruppe aus der linken Szene könne nicht ausgegangen werden, sagte Stefan Redlich, Leiter des Dezernats für politisch motivierte Kriminalität beim Berliner Staatsschutz. Vielmehr seien Einzelne bei den politisch motivierten Taten und Trittbrettfahrer bei den persönlich motivierten Taten verantwortlich.

 

Chaos must be well organized, ja?

Germans, being born anarchists (and born Germans), are genetically programmed to be aware of how important it is that the chaotic and deteriorating world in which we live continue to degenerate, but to have it do so in an “orderly chaotic” and therefore German manner.

That is why the Chaos Computer Club, holding its 27th annual Chaos Computer Club Congress in Berlin this week, has expressed Chaos Computer Club Congress Concern Concerning the recent hacking attacks against “Mastercard und Co.” in wake of recent WikiLeaks revelations (the leaks themselves were carried out quite orderly, causing complete chaos, so they were OK).
 
It appears that these attacks are in fact against something called Chaos Computer Club “hacker ethics” and the interests of those who genuinely strive for a truly transparent society (albeit a deteriorating and chaotic one) and they kindly request that such disorderly chaotic attacks cease immediately, or something.

I tell ya, it’s a dog-eat-dog-hacker-gegen-hacker world out there.

“As the world becomes more chaotic, we can help.”