How Rude Or Something

August 28, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Nationalities, Police Leave a comment

Ninety percent of the nationalities give the other ten percent a bad reputation, I say. Or was it the other way around? I forget.

Police in western German state to reveal nationality in all crimes – Police in North Rhine-Westphalia will now name every crime suspect’s nationality — and not just in crimes where it’s considered relevant. It’s a sensitive topic against the background of recent immigration to Germany.

“I am convinced that this transparency is the best means against clumsy deception.”

That Didn’t Take Long

August 27, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hostility, Humor, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: #TrumpNotWelcome, Angela Merkel, Documentaries, Donald Trump, Films, German, Germans, Germany, Twitter, Visits Leave a comment

But, then again, it never does.

#TrumpNotWelcome trends in Germany after Trump says he’d like to visit ‘soon’ – Merkel couldn’t contain a surprised smile at Trump’s announcement, but social media users weren’t so gracious. The mayor of Trump’s grandparents’ hometown shrugged at the news.

Speaking of Donald Trump’s roots, I really love this little documentary (too bad it’s in German for ya’all). It was filmed before he ran for president and none of today’s toxicity is there yet. The film makers even treat him like, I dunno, friendly or something (start viewing around minute 47:00). Refreshing, to say the least.

“We’ll be there … we’re very honored by the invitation — and that’s true — and we will be there. Maybe soon. I have German in my blood.”

Donald Trump Threatens Germany With Visit

August 26, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: Angela Merkel, Donald Trump, G7, German, Germans, Germany, Language Leave a comment

Clearly worried about his health after confiding to Angela Merkel during G7 talks that he “has German in his blood,” President Donald Trump announced that he will be coming to Germany “very soon.”

To seek medical attention, I assume. German doctors probably know best when it comes to getting “German” out of the bloodstream and why take any chances with a threatening ailment like this.

Let’s just hope it won’t be too late because worrying signs of the blood illness appeared during said talks when Trump grew delirious and called Merkel “a brilliant woman” at one point.

“Ich habe Deutsches in meinem Blut.”

Save Money At Your Own Risk, Thrifty Germans

August 25, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: ECB, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Interest Rates, Negative Interest, Savings Leave a comment

That virtue is going to cost you in today’s Europe.

Germany in Uproar as Negative Rates Threaten Saving Obsession – Germany’s overcrowded banking industry has long contended with sub-par profitability, but after five years of negative rates, lenders are running out of ways to offset the hit to earnings. With the country gearing up for regional elections next month, the ECB is an easy target for a country known for its risk-averse attitude to money and its habit of hording savings in checking accounts. At 2.35 trillion euros ($2.6 trillion), no other country in the euro area has a larger pile of retail deposits.

“These suggestions show how far the undesired side effects of the ECB’s negative rates stretch.”

Speaking Of Null…

August 23, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Balanced Budgets, Budgets, Debt, Deficit Spending, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Government Waste, Language, Recession Leave a comment

Zero, that is.

Germany May Abandon Its Beloved Black Zero – Chancellor Angela Merkel is still clinging to her policy of a balanced budget, but it is becoming increasingly clear that Germany’s economic downturn could soon usher in a return to deficit spending…

For years now, a balanced federal budget, known here in Germany as the “schwarze Null,” or black zero, without any fresh borrowing, has been a permanent fixture of German fiscal policy. After four decades of chronic borrowing to finance the German national budget, the shift stood for the renunciation of the debt state and became a symbol of sound policy. But now the issue is the subject of debate again — not only due to expensive political plans, but also the threat of a recession in Germany…

“We can accomplish the tasks at hand without accruing new debt.”

German Of The Day: Null

August 22, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: Bonds, German, Germans, Germany, Interest, Interest Rates, Investments, Language, Yield Leave a comment

That means zero. Nothing. Nada.

And zero is what you get if you purchase the world’s first 30-year bond featuring – zero income. Not much of an outcome there. What a steal. In more ways than one.

Germany Regrets Size of Bond That Pays Nothing as Auction Flops – The world’s first 30-year bond featuring zero income struggled to find buyers, prompting Germany’s debt agency to admit the sale may have been “too large.”

The nation failed to meet a 2-billion-euro target ($2.2 billion) for the auction of notes maturing in 2050, signaling that negative yields across Europe may finally be taking their toll on demand. It’s another sign that the global bond rally may be coming to a halt now that more than $16 trillion of securities have negative yields.

“The broader conclusion is that this is an ominous sign for cash bonds.”

And What’s The Problem With That?

August 21, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, Automobiles, Defense, Donald Trump, German, Germans, Germany, NATO, Richard Grenell, Tariffs, Trade, USA Leave a comment

German-U.S. Ties Are Breaking Down – Never since the founding of postwar Germany have relations between Berlin and the United States been as fragile as they are today. There is virtual radio silence between Chancellor Angela Merkel and President Donald Trump and U.S. Ambassador Richard Grenell is doing more to agitate the situation than to mediate.

It’s quite easy to explain, really: “I’m making them pay their bills” and the Germans don’t want to pay these bills. They’ve never paid them in the past, they’re thinking, so why should we pay them now? If there’s anything else I can do to straighten any of this up for you here, just ask.

“There is no understanding, but there are also no misunderstandings.”

Dying?

August 20, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Luftwaffe, NATO, Ursula von der Leyen Leave a comment

Long dead is more like it. The German Air Farce.

Germany’s Air Force Is Dying: Everything You Need To Know – AFebruary ministry report showed only 39 of 128 Eurofighter jets were available for training and combat use last year on average, and just 26 of 93 older-model Tornado fighter jets.

The problem – for anybody on the outside out there – is assuming that anyone here gives a damn. And the punchline: The German defense minister directly responsible for this just got promoted and will now be running the EU. Get it?

Die Luftwaffe is at a low point.

Happy Potato Day

August 19, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Holidays, Jokes, Potatoes 2 Comments

Just in case you didn’t know, Germans have this thing with patatoes. That’s why a group of German agi-taters lobbied to make August 19 Potato Day.

I guess that makes the rest of us speck-taters.

Not that I’m complaining or anything, I’m just a commen-tater, folks.

The Germans’ insatiable love affair with potatoes – They were once guarded by the king and are sometimes eaten with apple sauce. For Potato Day on August 19, here are some things you maybe didn’t know about potatoes in Germany…

By the way, how can you tell how fast a German potato is going? Check its spud-ometer.

What Goes Up

August 18, 2019 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Recession Leave a comment

Must go flat.

And then shrink.

Germany’s economy is now shrinking – The mood music had grown so ominous that the shock was somewhat muted. After weeks of dismal survey and industrial-output numbers, it was little surprise to learn on August 14th that Germany’s gdp had contracted by 0.1% in the second quarter of 2019 compared with the previous three months. The economy has been essentially flat over the past year. Household spending, bolstered by wage growth in a tight labour market, has held up but the slump in manufacturing, which represents over one-fifth of output, is deepening. Companies are cutting work hours and issuing profit warnings. Many analysts think Germany is heading for outright recession.

Will the government open the spending taps? Probably not.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: German