German Of The Day: Datenschutz

That means data privacy and Germans are notoriously big on that, as you well know.

Tornado

Take Germany’s planned reconnaissance flights over Syria and Iraq, for instance. Germans are so concerned about data privacy that they are already planning not to share the intelligence they might gather there with their allies. Sicher ist sicher (better safe than sorry).

The aircraft are expected to operate from Incirlik airbase in southern Turkey, and as Nato allies, the two countries would normally expect to share intelligence. But German commanders are concerned Turkey may use surveillance information from the flights to direct attacks against Kurdish forces allied to the West.

Deutscher Anti-IS-Einsatz: Berlin will Aufklärungsdaten für Türkei zensieren

Then We’ll Send Our Better Half

Syria conflict: Half of German Tornado jets ‘not airworthy’

Tornado

Ain’t no big deal, as German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen has stressed, because Germany only needs to send six Tornado jets for the proposed mission against Islamic State (IS) militants in Syria. Six that maybe ought to be halfway operational, she means.

This German war machine, she is stll broken, señor (thank goodness weapons exports are still A-OK, though).

“Die Lage der fliegenden Systeme bleibt unbefriedigend.”

German Of The Day: Aufklärungstornados

That means reconnaissance Tornadoes.

Tornadoes

The Paris attacks brought changes: Germany has pledged “any form of support” to France in its fight against terrorism. Right now, it looks like the German military will deploy its Tornado reconnaissance jets…

Reconnaissance jets have already been used in international military missions, for example, in the Balkans and Afghanistan. There, up to six German Tornados supplied their NATO partners with information about Taliban positions. The pictures are taken with cameras attached to the fuselage of the fighter bombers. After the planes have completed their mission and landed, the film must be developed and analyzed, which takes some time, but the images have a much higher resolution and are much more detailed than other types of aerial photography.

Deutsche Fotos für den Luftkrieg der anderen

Dear Hollywood

It’s Christmas season so here’s my wish. I know your first and foremost priority is to bash everything time-honored and traditional about us (as in US). I understand and respect that (actually I don’t, that was just a figure of speech). But seeing what’s going on in the world at this moment I would really appreciate it if you could possibly consider bringing back one of your own time-honored genres: The wartime drama. You know, like Casablanca? You could refer to it as a wartime propaganda film if that makes you feel better about it, of course.

Casablanca

I would like this Casablanca to have a Muslim hero in it, however. A Muslim Rick, so-to-speak. The reason being that one of the obvious intentions of the ISIS attacks in France (coming to Germany soon!) is to incite hatred against the Muslims living here and to hopefully, from their point of view, have this hatred lead to some form of civil war in ze Europe.

This may have seemed far-fetched a short time ago but a thoughtful look at the current atmosphere in Germany, for instance, should convince you that this is well within the realm of the possible.

The Traumfabrik (dream factory) needs to give us a positive Muslim role model here, in other words. The “normal,” moderate Muslims living here need one erst recht (all the more). This Ric, too, will need to do the right thing and combat the evil that is terrorizing us all and explain to everyone how it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, of course.

I know you’re busy and all these days and I really hate to bother you (another figure of speech) but I’m just thinking out loud here.

PS: Scarlett Johansson would make a great Ingrid Bergman character. No head scarves or anything, though.

Who Woke Up Insulation Nation?

Like how rude is that? Even if they’re only awake for a few minutes it’s still uncalled for.

War

* Germans long felt insulated after opposing 2003 Iraq war

* Germany-France soccer game was one of Paris targets

* Cancelled match this week brought threat closer to home

* Vice chancellor shuns war rhetoric favoured by Hollande

After years of feeling insulated from militant Islamist threats, Germans are worrying that they too could be subject to attacks like those suffered last week in Paris.

Ain’t no big deal, though. They’ll be back to sleep in no time, folks. War? What, me worry? The answer is always…

“Die ganz klare Antwort ist nein.”

German Of The Day: Bündnisfall

That means casus foederis in Latin. OK, OK, and that means a “case for the alliance.” The NATO alliance, that is. Article 5. And that’s the case we have in Paris right now.

NATO

The Islamic State just attacked us. This isn’t rocket science, folks.

The coordinated terror attacks across Paris that left more than 120 dead and hundreds wounded have prompted calls for global intervention from France’s allies against the Islamic State group, which took responsibility for the attacks. As world leaders decried the attacks as an “act of war” and international media trumpeted the arrival of World War III, security experts said Saturday a perfect storm could be brewing for an invocation of the NATO’s Article 5, the clause declaring an attack against one ally to be an attack against all.

“Das war ein Kriegsakt einer feindlichen Armee, des ‘Islamischen Staates,'” Wir befinden uns im Krieg mit dem ‘Islamischen Staat'”

It’s A Dogg Eat Dogg World Out There

Yes it ISIS. Once jihad it, jihad it.

Dogg

It’s like just a hip hop skip and a jump from rapping in Berlin to rapping on Heaven’s door. Denis over for good.

Now that’s what I call street credibility, folks.

So hat Denis Cuspert, auf seine eigene, barbarische Art, doch noch etwas zu Ende gebracht.

German ISIS Defectors Explain How Terrorist Lifestyle Was Actually Somewhat Disappointing

Clearly not the sharpest knives in the drawer, two Germans who fought for ISIS in Syria are standing trial back home and are now prepared to give “deep insights” into the life of foreign fighters in Islamic State.

ISIS

One of the very first deep insights appears to be that life as an ISIS terrorist really, really, really sucks. Who would have thought that?

Although facing a potential jail term of 10 to 20 years, the IS defector called Ebrahim B. claimed to have gone through such horrible atrocities during three months in the Islamic State that “for him jail in Germany is preferable to freedom in Syria.”

Denis Da Menace

And you thought his name was bad enough (not Denis, Deso Dogg).

Denis

Now German rapper turned Islamic State terrorist Denis Cuspert is threatening Germany ITSELF with atrocities in his latest way cool music video. It’s supposed to be really edgy and bound to give him even more street credibility than he already has (I think I’ll pass watching it, though). You know, with people being beheaded and burned alive and stuff like that?

“In Frankreich folgten Taten, die deutschen Schläfer warten.”

No Easter Peace March Planned For Tröglitz This Year

You know, the place where after getting the mayor to hightail it out of town and burning down a planned asylum seekers‘ home on Easter Sunday, right-wing nut jobs are now threatening to behead the local district administrator if asylum seekers start arriving in May as originally planned?

Peace

German peace activists will be protesting against the real forces of evil like NATO, instead. The same procedure as every year, James.

The Easter marches reached their peak in support between 1968 and 1983, when events throughout West Germany brought hundreds of thousands out onto the streets annually to demonstrate against issues such as Washington’s military involvement in Vietnam and the nuclear arms race.