Author Archives: Hermann Observer

German Of The Day: KoKo

December 14, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

It’s kind of like a GroKo, only it’s a KoKo instead.

KoKo

It’s some crazy new SPD invention – cooperation coalition – to make the folks who just voted them out of office forget about the GroKo they were a way big part of – the main reason they got voted out of office, by the way. KoKo sounds better, I guess. And it isn’t a GroKo anymore, see? So the people will like the KoKo. If they’re coo coo they will. But they’re not. So this word will only be around for a few hours, folks. Enjoy it while it’s here.

SPD und Union ringen um eine neue Bundesregierung. GroKo ja oder nein? Ist „KoKo“ vom Tisch?

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Buddhists, Baptists And Scientologists Urge Recognition Of Jerusalem As Their Capital Now, Too

December 13, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

With Israel urging the rest of the world to recognize West Jerusalem as its capital and Muslim nations now urging that East Jerusalem be recognized as the Palestinian capital, other pushy and state-less religious denominations have gotten into the fray, as well.

Palestine

Buddhists have staked a claim for North Jerusalem while Baptists have already set up their tents in South Jerusalem. Where the Scientologists are going to find any room to move is anybody’s guess.

Germany, for its part, has stressed that it will continue to refuse to recognize any of these nations and/or religions until it is finally recognized by the rest of the world as being completely unrecognizable. From what it used to be, I mean. Which has already been recognized, hasn’t it?

Nachdem US-Präsident Trump Jerusalem als israelische Hauptstadt anerkannte, forderte Israel die EU-Staaten auf, dies auch zu tun. Eine deutliche Mehrheit der Deutschen lehnt dies ab, wie der WELT-Trend zeigt.

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We Worry

December 12, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

People living in Germany are the most worried about climate change, according to new analysis of 18 countries published this week.

Climate

The National Centre for Social Research (NatCen) examined data collected by the European Social Survey on public attitudes to climate change of 16 European countries, Russia and Israel.

Of these 18 countries, it found Germans are the most concerned, with 44% “very or “extremely” worried about climate change. At the other end of the spectrum, just 15% of Poles say they are “very or “extremely” worried.

Meanwhile… Chaos hits European flights as snow snarls major hubs. Germans worry about that kind of stuff, too. They’re always leaving Germany in the winter to escape the cold weather.

Der Winter hat in vielen Teilen Deutschlands zu chaotischen Zuständen geführt. In einigen Regionen zählte die Polizei in der Nacht zum Montag Hunderte Einsätze.

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More Crazy Protests Going On Down There In The Middle East Again

December 11, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I mean over there, of course. Over there in the middle eastern part of Berlin.

Berlin

Angela Merkel has condemned the burning of Israeli symbols during protests against the US decision on Jerusalem. Germany’s interior, foreign and justice ministers have also expressed criticism of the weekend’s protests…

On Sunday, some 2,500 demonstrators marched through Berlin’s Neukölln district and burned flags with the Star of David, the Berliner Zeitung reported, to demonstrate against the controversial decision by US President Donald Trump.

Wien, Berlin, Göteborg, Athen, Amsterdam. In den vergangenen Tagen häuften sich Übergriffe auf jüdische Einrichtungen.

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German Of The Day: Gefangenenaustausch

December 10, 2017 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means a prisoner exchange.

VW

And that is what this guy, the German executive guy responsible for environmental questions in US-Amerika for VW who just got sentenced by a US court to seven years in prison and $400,000 – after “admitting to charges of conspiring to mislead U.S regulators and violate clean-air laws” – is hoping for.

Of course in this case, if nobody can find a US-Amerikan prisoner in Germany worth swapping places with, the exchange could still take place between prisons, couldn’t it? At any rate, his lawyers would like to exchange his yucky American one for one of the more humane German kind.

This is another one of those cases where worlds collide, folks. Convicted murders don’t get seven years over here in Germany. And this wanted clown goes on vacation in Florida thinking nobody will notice (that’s where they busted him)? Here’s some more German of the day: Wer nicht hören will muss fühlen. Those who refuse to follow the rules shall feel the consequences.

Sieben Jahre soll der VW-Manager Oliver Schmidt wegen des Abgasskandals in einem US-Gefängnis sitzen. Doch der Verurteilte hofft auf eine Überstellung nach Deutschland – womöglich im Austausch mit einem US-Häftling.

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German Of The Day: Jamaika-Aus

December 8, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

That means, sadly, the collapse of the Jamaica talks to form a CDU/CSU/FDP/Green government. And is, coincidentally, Germany’s Word of the Year for 2017.

Jamaica

Sadly because the SPD has now been given the chance to come out of its we’re-absolutely-positively-never-ever-going-to-come-out-of-opposition pout after getting creamed during this year’s election. The SPD can do this kind of 180 degree turn stuff. Nobody cares. Just like nobody cares about who the chancellor is, apparently.

Denoting the ongoing failure to form a governing majority in German, Jamaica Out was one of several political neologisms chosen by the Society for German Language (GfdS) on Friday for its Word of the Year, which has been awarded since 2009.

PS: This kind of stuff gives me a hangover. I think I’ll drive over to the new Denny’s in Hanover and order me some pancakes or something (this article says Denny’s is where you go in US-Amerika for your hangover breakfast).

German Of The Day: Kontrolle

December 7, 2017 By in High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means control, as in the people who check to see if you bought your subway ticket for the U2 line in Berlin. Which apparently these two guys did not do.

U2

Nor did they have a Genehmigung (license) to make Straßenmusik (music on the street – or under it), either.

That’s the problem with this country, people. Nobody respects the rule of law.

The musicians took a special train Wednesday from the Olympic Stadium, near the western end of the U2 line, to the Deutsche Oper stop. Local radio station Radioeins, which gave out tickets for the ride, said about 120 people joined them on the train.

Promise?

December 6, 2017 By in Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Do you promise that “relations with the US will never be the same after Trump?”

Gabriel

Because that would be great if you made sure that was the case, German Foreign Minister Gabriel (SPD). And I couldn’t agree more with what you just said in that context; that Germany needs to be more confident about defending it’s own interests and draw red lines where it needs to draw red lines. Germany first? By all means. It’s not the most original idea but we can all see where you’re coming from. Stay tuned, everyone.

Deutschland müsse künftig selbstbewusster seine Interessen vertreten, verlangt Gabriel. “Wir müssen selbst unsere Positionen beschreiben und notfalls rote Linien ziehen – unter Partnern, aber an unseren eigenen Interessen orientiert.”

A Little Paralysis Never Hurt Anybody

December 5, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

If this is Germany’s acting government they sure are pretty lousy actors.

Merkel

On Thursday, the German chancellor spent two hours at the German president’s office in Bellevue Palace with the leader of the Social Democratic Party (SPD), Martin Schulz, and the leader of the Christian Social Union (CSU), Horst Seehofer. The president wants to prevent new elections and has urged the SPD and the CSU, the conservative alliance partner of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union (CDU) to start afresh with the unpopular grand coalition, despite all past disappointments.

It will likely come to that, as the SPD is now ready for talks, even if it is still keeping its options open, including tolerating a CDU/CSU minority government. But it may take a while until a government is formed — some observers suspect the country could have to wait until March for a government to emerge from September’s election. After all, just a few weeks ago, the SPD was fiercely determined to reposition itself in the opposition.

But honestly, who really cares about any of this, anyway? As long as people here can still concentrate on the really dangerous governments out there chances are that nobody else will even notice that Germany doesn’t have one.