SPD Unsure About Which False Move To Make Next

November 22, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, Elections, FDP, German, Germans, Germany, SPD 2 Comments

As in being worst. False moves are the only kind of moves Germany’s SPD makes these days.

Now that the Jamaica negotiations went tango uniform….

Bloodied but proud and steeped in tradition and legacy, the SPD thought it had done the right thing after September’s devastating election result by announcing its desire to regroup as the main opposition party in the new German parliament…

But if the SPD sticks to its opposition role now, its detractors might accuse the party of leaving the country in the lurch and not doing its democratic duty to help ensure a working and stable government…

On the other hand, if the SPD comes out of its opposition shell and agrees to revisit a grand coalition with Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats, it may well be accused of opportunism and lacking backbone.

The SPD doesn’t have any backbone, you see (that’s the FDP‘s job). So being accused of not having one is clearly out of the question. And if comes to new elections then? They get slammed even harder. Same personnel, same platform. Brilliant leadership there, Martin Schulz. I think we’ve got our German word for the day here and it doesn’t even need a translation: Kindergarten.

Fly The Friendly Skies

November 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Anti-Semitism, Arabs, Courts, German, Germans, Germany, Israel, Jews, Justice, Kuwait, Rulings 1 Comment

But not with Jew. I mean, you.

A court in the German city of Frankfurt ruled on Thursday that Kuwait Airways was within its rights to refuse to transport an Israeli because of their citizenship.

In its judgement, the court said it was “not reasonable” for the airline to transport a person if doing so risked severe legal consequences for its employees in Kuwait.

Kuwaiti law prohibits companies from doing business with Israelis.

Damn. Here come da judge. Just a little clarification here: This was a court in Germany today, in the year 2017. Not that you’re thinking it was one of those other kind of German courts from back in the day.

Die Airline darf israelischen Staatsbürgern die Beförderung verweigern. Das hat das Landgericht Frankfurt entschieden.

German Of The Day: Unfassbar

November 16, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Tanks 4 Comments

That means unfathomable or mind-boggling. And, well, actually, it isn’t.

Not at all. It is in fact not in the least unfathomable that of the 244 Leopard II tanks the Bundeswehr has at its disposal (244 tanks for an entire army?) only 95 of them are acutally, well, disposable. That’s, uh – let me do the math here – less than half.

What was I saying the other day about Germany living in a parallel universe (comments)? Do you believe me now?

Please note: These are also the same tanks that are Exportschlager. Another German word. This one meaning export hits. See how it all fits together (not)?

“Das ist unfassbar.”

Now That’s Putting It A Little Drastic

November 15, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Alternative Energy, CO2, Coal, Electricity, Energy, German, Germans, Germany, Language Leave a comment

But wenn man recht hat, hat man recht. But when you’re right, you’re right.

Germany Is a Coal-Burning, Gas-Guzzling Climate Change Hypocrite.

Just this summer, German Chancellor Angela Merkel read U.S. President Donald Trump the riot act for pulling out of the Paris climate accord, chiding the United States for ignoring and perpetuating climate change…

Yet Germany’s image as selfless defender of the climate, which was once largely deserved, is now a transparent fiction. Germany has fallen badly behind on its pledges to sink its own greenhouse gas pollutants. In fact, Germany’s carbon emissions haven’t declined for nearly a decade and the German Environment Agency calculated that Germany emitted 906 million tons of CO2 in 2016 — the highest in Europe — compared to 902 million in 2015. And 2017’s interim numbers suggest emissions are going to tick up again this year.

Saudi Arabia AND Egypt

November 14, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Pacifism, Profit, Weapons, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

The German government approved nearly €450 million ($526 million) worth of weapons exports to Saudi Arabia and Egypt in the third quarter of 2017, more than five times the €86 million it sold in the same quarter of last year.

With Nurses Like This You Don’t Need Doctors

November 9, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Murder, Nurses 3 Comments

A German nurse serving a prison sentence for murdering two patients is suspected of killing a total of 102 people, more than previously known, police and public prosecutors said on Thursday. That would make him Germany’s deadliest serial killer if he was found guilty. The man, identified only as Niels H. under reporting rules, has admitted to deliberately injecting patients at two clinics in northern Germany with deadly drugs and then trying to revive them in order to play the hero.

Ten years ago, a German nurse was convicted of killing 28 elderly patients. He said he gave them lethal injections because he felt sorry for them. He was sentenced to life in prison.

In Britain, Dr. Harold Shipman was believed to have killed as many as 250 people, most of them elderly and middle-aged women who were his patients. Known as Dr. Death, Shipman was sentenced to 15 life terms in 2000; he died prison in 2004, apparently a suicide.

Where The Happiest Germans Are?

November 8, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Atlas of Happiness, German, Germans, Germany, Glücksatlas, Happiness, Polls, Studies, Surveys 3 Comments

Like duh. That’s easy. Wherever the most miserable Germans are. They call it Schadenfreude, folks. With a capital S.

Stay out of those orange-looking areas, by the way. You know, places where people like me live? They will NOT be happy to see you.

While in many parts of the world happiness is a purely abstract concept, Germans have come up with a method to measure it. The results from the 2017 yearly survey on life satisfaction, called the “Glücksatlas” (or the “Atlas of Happiness”), have been published on Tuesday…

The gap between the happiest and the unhappiest regions is smaller than ever, with 0.6 points: The people in Schleswig-Holstein top the ranking, with 7.43 points, while Saxony-Anhalt’s population comes last in the listing, with 6.83 points.

Die subjektive Lebenszufriedenheit bleibe auf dem Niveau des Vorjahres und liege auf einer Skala von 0 bis 10 bei 7,07.

OMG We’re All Gonna Die

November 6, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Der Spiegel, Donald Trump, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Journalism, Media 3 Comments

Again. And again and again and again already. This must be the one year anniversary special or something.

Here’s some more of that high-class and balanced Spiegel journalism we have all grown so accustomed to. Jeepers. How can anybody hyperventilate this long? Just a few key terms here will tell you all you need to know about this article (and you thought some folks got carried away with their tweets):

“moral emptiness”
“the erosion of American greatness”
“existential threat to the American Republic”
“nuclear brinkmanship with North Korea”
“erratic belligerence”
“frayed to the breaking point”
“like Britain’s perverse flight from the European Union”
“a blow-up-the-system mood”
“the ultimate provocateur”
“Trump’s ‘America First’ is a slogan of impeccable fascist pedigree”

“After a year of MAGA, it has become clear that a disaster is unfolding whose consequences for humanity and decency will be substantial.”

US-Amerika To Penetrate Germany Again Tonight

October 31, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Cultural Imperialism, Culture, German, Germans, Germany, Halloween, Martin Luther, Polls, Protestantism, Reformation Day, Religion, Surveys Leave a comment

“They see it as just one more example of American commercial penetration*.”

Popular as it is, many people are vehemently against Halloween in their countries, whether it be religious objections or fears of cultural imperialism.

It may be a bit of both in Germany, where 48 percent of respondents in the 2017 YouGov survey said the spooky holiday is a U.S. import that displaces German culture. October 31 is Reformation Day in Germany, and commemorates the day when Martin Luther launched Europe’s Protestant Reformation.

So on that happy note, Happy Halloween everyone! Whatever holiday you might be celebrating tonight.

Fast 50 Prozent der Deutschen glauben, Halloween sei ein US-Import, der die deutsche Kultur gefährde. Fakt ist, dass der Brauch ursprünglich aus Irland stammt.

*Psst. Don’t spoil everybody’s fun by explaining that Halloween originated in Ireland.

He Opened The Door For Me

October 29, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hideology, Humor, Hype, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Harvey Weinstein, Hype, Media, Men, Polls, Sexual Harassment, Surveys, Women Leave a comment

“And this other creep said he liked my new Frisur (hairstyle).”

German men would never do that, of course. They just grab knees and do other more direct kind of sexually harassing stuff like that. And they’re apparently pretty fleißig (diligent) at it, too.

One in two women in Germany has experienced some form of sexual harassment, a new YouGov survey showed. The poll comes amid global outrage over sexual assault allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein.

Only one in two? No way. I get globally outraged myself just reading that. Why don’t they just print the truth as it is meant to be and say that all German women have been sexually harassed (or at least all of them will have been very soon – we’ve only got two hands, ladies) and just move on already. To the next global outrage, I mean.

“In 20 years of show business I’ve never been sexually harassed by a man. But that is probably because I find sexual advances from men basically enjoyable and see them as compliments, not as harassment.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habitudes