This Is Not A Fake News Item

I just don’t get this stuff anymore. Are these people only confused or just plain stupid?

Confused

A young left-wing German politician has admitted she lied to police about the racial background of three men who raped her in case it triggered reprisals against refugees in her country.

Selin Gören, the national spokeswoman of the left-wing youth movement Solid, was attacked by three men in January in the city of Mannheim where she works as a refugee activist.

The 24-year-old was ambushed late at night in a playground where she said she was forced to perform a sex act on her attackers.

After the assault she went straight to the police – but she did not tell them the ethnic make-up of the men, that they were speaking Arabic or Farsi.

Eine junge Frau wird vergewaltigt und sagt es niemandem. Der Grund: Die Täter waren Männer mit arabischer Herkunft. Sie wollte den Rassismus nicht weiter befeuern.

German Of The Day: Starrsinnig

That means stubborn or obstinate.

Starrsinnig

Merkel, Juncker und Schulz – das starrsinnige Trio

When looking to find the guilty parties for Brexit, most of the British who voted to remain in the EU are quick to name the three names of Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker and, above all, Angela Merkel. These EU advocates are convinced that the vote would have turned out completely different if these three had only shown a modicum of understanding for David Cameron’s urgent wish to submit a reform treaty to the British voters that would have deserved the name. This did not happen, however. And thus the obstinate trio frivolously created the basis for Britain’s turning away from the EU. Now the parliament is in an an uproar.

Bei der Suche nach den Schuldigen für den Brexit nennen die meisten derjenigen Briten, die für den EU-Verbleib stimmten, die Namen Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker und vor allem Angela Merkel. Die EU-Befürworter sind davon überzeugt, dass das Votum gänzlich anders ausgefallen wäre, wenn diese drei nur ein Fünkchen echtes Verständnis für David Camerons dringenden Wunsch aufgebracht hätten, den britischen Wählern einen Reformvertrag vorzulegen, der diese Bezeichnung verdient. Das geschah aber nicht. So schuf das starrsinnige Trio leichtfertig die Voraussetzung für die britische Abkehr von der EU. Jetzt ist das Parlament in Aufruhr.

Elfmeterhelden

Eleven Meter Heroes“?*

Germany

I’m there, dude. I just hope this flick is half as good as Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.

Woman

Germany had to negotiate the equal-longest penalty shootout in Euros history but they finally managed to overcome Italy in a competitive game to set up a last-four clash against hosts France or Iceland.

*Penalty kick heroes.

German Of The Day: Selbstmord

That means suicide. You could translate this literally as meaning self-murder. Or as the kids these days probably prefer to say, selfie-murder.

Selfie

German tourist at Machu Picchu plunges 100m to his death ‘after selfie goes wrong

Der 51 Jahre alte Mann, dessen Name mit Oliver P. angegeben wurde, war offenbar über eine Sicherheitsabsperrung geklettert, um zu fotografieren.

Good Question

Could Germans vote to exit the EU?

Dexit

In a word, no.

Germans could only vote on exiting the EU if they first change their constitution to include such “direct democracy” at the national level. Only then could the Berlin government or parliament call a referendum.

Now isn’t that convenient. You’re not asked if you want in, you’re  not asked about anything while you’re in and you couldn’t even ask to leave if you wanted to. So like why even ask?

And besides, what would you call the damned thing? A Dexet? A Gerexit? It just doesn’t have the right Klang.

Germany’s More Democracy organization has long called for making possible popular national referendums in the country. On its website, the group argues that the government merely presents “politics without any alternative” which parliament then “nods through.”

EU Threatens To Toss Great Britain Out Of The EU If It Has Not Packed Up Its Bags And Left By Tuesday

Or at the very least handed in its official resignation thingy by then, that is.

President

The unelected President of the European Parlament, Dingsda (what’s his name) is mad as hell at this Brexit Scheiß (crap) and isn’t going to take it anymore. After Great Britain’s sovereign decision to leave the EU last week he now demands that Great Britain leave the EU. If it does not do so immediately, he says, the EU will have no other choice but to toss Great Britain out of the EU. This is of course something that none of us want to do, he added, except for maybe Great Britain, that is, but believe you me we will do so anyway if we are forced to. Honest. So watch out already we mean business.

Der Präsident des Europaparlaments, Martin Schulz, sagte der “Bild am Sonntag”, der Gipfel am kommenden Dienstag sei hierfür der geeignete Zeitpunkt.

German Of The Day: Arbeitslos

That means unemployed. You know, like this loser of a European Football Championship koala oracle at the Leipzig Zoo?

Koala

„Oobi-Ooobi’s” job was to predict the outcome of the German team’s soccer matches and after two big flops in a row they fired his furry Australian ass. Dumb animal You have to perform over here in this part of the world, pal. And there is no such thing as free eucalyptus.

„Der unparteiische Australier zieht die Konsequenzen aus seinen beiden falschen Tipps. Als sportlich fairer Verlierer überlässt er das Orakeln ab sofort den Anderen.“

Remember: These Folks Don’t Represent All Muslims Living In Germany

They only represent about HALF of all the MODERATE ones: Nearly half of Turkish immigrants in Germany put Islam above law.

Turks

That’s right. The latest Emnid poll indicates that 47 per cent of the more than three million Turkish citizens living in Germany admit following their religion was “more important” than obeying “the laws of the land in which I live”.

32 per cent said they yearn to live in a society of the times of the Prophet Mohammed.

I guess we don’t even want to know what the radical Muslims out there are thinking. Like duh. We already do.

36 Prozent der Befragten überzeugt, nur der Islam könne die Probleme der Zeit lösen. 47 Prozent halten die Gebote des Islams für wichtiger als die deutschen Gesetze.

Volkswagen To Build E-Cars

But they haven’t figured out how to equip them with diesel emissions test cheating software yet.

Volkswagen

The sleazy, crooked, dirtball of a company also hopes to introduce more self-driving vehicles in the near future. If those work out, self-purchasing models will be the next logical step. And after that, who knows? The Welt or something.

Volkswagen unveiled a plan for the next decade containing culture change, as it strives to compete in an industry moving towards e-cars, self-driving systems and on-demand mobility – all while it deals with Dieselgate.

Mit Elektroautos in die Zukunft!