More Gun Control Needed

June 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Guns, Language, Weapons Leave a comment

In Germany.

The citizens of this predominantly pacifist nation still refuse to address this very grave issue (no pun intended) in any meaningful way and therefore remain the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms.* Again and again and again. Like, when will they ever learn?

The only nations that export more arms than the Germans are US-Amerika and Russia, much more violent and less enlightened societies that have not yet learned to make atonement for their dreadful, awful pasts like Germany has – thus making it OK for them to be the world’s third largest exporters of deadly firearms, I assume. Es ist einfach kompliziert (it’s simply complicated) over here sometimes. No, make that all the time.

Die umstrittenen Lieferungen an Saudi-Arabien haben dazu beigetragen, dass Deutschland 2015 drittgrößter Waffenexporteur war.

*And tanks. And submarines. You know. And other stuff like that?

When Black Zero Comes

June 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Balanced Budgets, Black Friday, Economics, Eucken, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Steely Dan 2 Comments

I’m gonna dig myself a hole…

When Germans refer to a “black zero” these days they mean a balanced fiscal budget with no red ink. What a concept. If it weren’t so unthinkable (I am from US-Amerika and we’re clearly too smart for that) I would have a “quasi-religious fixation” with it, too. More power to you, Wolfgang.

In his aversion to the pursuit of full employment through fiscal policy, Mr Schäuble is an obvious heir to Eucken. This is also true of prominent German economists who, during the eurozone crisis, have ignored the effects of austerity on demand, out of a deep-seated belief that structural reforms can solve all problems.

Monsanto Not Nearly As Evil As It Was Just A Few Hours Ago

May 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Bayer, German, Germans, Germany, Monsanto, Reputation, The Green Shirts 2 Comments

That’s because a German company is now trying to buy it (although they do appear to be choking on it at the moment). Germans are like Green with a capital G or something, you see.

It (Monsanto) has been characterized variously as sinister, evil and a corporate bully. Surveys rank it among the most hated companies in America. And now Bayer AG wants to buy it…

“Monsanto has been better defined by the critics than they should’ve been. We see often times a company has a terrible reputation that often is not that they’ve done something horrendously bad. They’ve just let others define them.”

Von Monstermais und Frankenfood: Die Welt hat sich verändert. Vor hundert Jahren ernteten Getreidebauern in Deutschland je Hektar kaum ein Viertel der Menge, die die Landwirte heute einfahren.

German Of The Day: Späti

May 18, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Beer, Berlin, Corner Stores, German, Germans, Germany, Kiosks, Language, Späti, Spätkauf 2 Comments

Speaking of Berlin… Finally there’s something this town can do really well: The Spätkauf or “open late” corner shop.

These late night places are everywhere in Berlin and, as the article linked to here rightly points out, “The Spätkauf in Berlin is not just an opportunity to go shopping, it’s also a social center for entire neighborhoods.” Or it’s an asocial center at the very least. There are guys at my Späti who seem to spend the whole summer hanging out around there, supporting the local beer industry in the process. Hey, somebody’s got to do it.

Mensch ist man dort, wo sie zu meinem Hund „meine Sonne“ sagen: Der Spätkauf ist in Berlin nicht nur Einkaufsgelegenheit, sondern auch soziales Zentrum ganzer Nachbarschaften.

We Are Also The Two-Thirds Percent

May 11, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Merkel, Migrants, Polls, Refugees, Surveys Leave a comment

OK, two-thirds isn’t a percent per se, but still.

Germans don’t want Angela Merkel to run for a fourth term, it seems. They just want her to run.

A poll published on Tuesday shows that just under two-thirds of Germans do not want Chancellor Angela Merkel to run for office again in elections next year.

The poll conducted by INSA for Cicero magazine asked people if they thought Merkel should run for a fourth term and 64 percent responded that she should not.

Other polling figures show that if an election were held now, Germany’s two main political parties would barely scrape together 50 percent of the vote between them.

“Wenn die Flüchtlingsthematik in die aus Merkels Sicht richtigen Bahnen gelenkt und aus der öffentlichen Aufmerksamkeit verschwunden ist, wäre ihre letzte große Aufgabe erfüllt.”

German Of The Day: Mittelschicht

May 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Middle Class Leave a comment

That means middle class.

And here you thought that your middle class was shrinking. And it is, of course. But the German middle class is shrinking, too. And “it’s shrinking as quickly as the middle class in the U.S.” It’s down to 54 percent of the population, from 60 percent 20 years ago.

Der Anteil der Mittelschicht an der Bevölkerung ist in Deutschland in den vergangenen Jahrzehnten auf zuletzt 54 Prozent geschrumpft. Rund 20 Jahre zuvor lag er noch bei 60 Prozent. Vergleicht man die Entwicklung von 1991 bis 2013, schrumpfte die Mittelschicht in Deutschland genauso stark wie in den USA.

Free Choice, More Convenience, Lower Prices?

April 29, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Airbnb, Bans, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Government Regulation, Interventionism, Regulation, Rent, Vacation Rentals Leave a comment

Not in our city, buddy. I mean Airbnb buddy. Not if we from the we’re-from-the-government-and-we’re-here-to-help faction can do anything about it.

We like things regulated here in Berlin. You know, we like things managed, micro-managed, even nano-managed or nanny-managed, if you prefer. What else do we have this oppressive Bevormundungsstaat (paternalistic state) for?

Looking to rent an apartment on your next vacation to Berlin? Starting Sunday, you can basically forget about it. From May 1, Germany’s capital is banning landlords from renting out apartments to short-term visitors, with only a few exceptions permitted.

The penalty for breaking the law is a substantial €100,000 ($113,000) fine — levied on people renting their homes, never on the guests themselves. There will still be some loopholes that allow a few vacation apartments to persist, but it seems that, in Berlin at least, the astronomical rise of Airbnb and other short-stay rental sites is effectively over.

Das Wohnungsangebot in Berlin bei Airbnb ist kleiner geworden. Mehr als 4000 Objekte wurden laut einem Medienbericht gestrichen. Offizielle Begründung: Sie böten “kein authentisches Reiseerlebnis”.

German Rents Keep Rising

April 28, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Animals, Bees, Chickens, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Rabbits Leave a comment

You have to shell out $85 a week at Rent-a-Huhn just for five lousy chickens, for instance.

Bee-Rent will set you back nearly $200 a month for your bee box. And I wouldn’t even want to tell you what renting out a rabbit companion for your rabbit costs. Not even if I knew, I mean.

Farm living is the life for me (not).

“The hens are very relaxed when I pick them up again – and so are the customers, who are often sad to see their feathery friends leave.”

Germany To Receive Electroshock Therapy

April 27, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Automobiles, Electric Cars, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Subsidies Leave a comment

In another electrifying example of tax dollar waste (or in this case tax euro waste), Angela Merkel’s government has just made a deal with automakers to spend some 1.2 billion euros on incentives to boost sluggish electric car sales in Germany.

“The goal is to move forward as quickly as possible on electric vehicles,” one high-ranking government official said while attaching the electrodes to the German nation’s sweaty forehead. “With this, we are giving an impetus.”

And if that first shock doesn’t work, who cares? This is renewable energy they’re using here, folks.

Just over 30,000 electric vehicles, which are more expensive than conventional models, have been sold in Germany. That’s a tiny fraction of the more than 3 million cars bought each year in a country which has historically leaned on diesel technology to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions.

Bye American

April 25, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Bermany, German, Germans, Hanover, Merkel, Obama, Trade, TTIP Leave a comment

And take those dopey google-goggle thingies with you when you go.

And don’t let the virtually real door hit you on your way out.

And no tongues.

Buy American, buy German – auf der Hannover Messe frotzeln Merkel und Obama miteinander. Die Regierungschefs wissen, dass sich die Unternehmen ihrer Länder einen harten Kampf um Absatzmärkte liefern.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Heconomy