The Worst Is Over

January 24, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Debt Crisis, Euro, Euro Zone, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Growth, IMF, Recession Leave a comment

Or something.

For much of the financial crisis that started in 2007, Germany remained strong and held the envy of modern economies around the world.

In 2010, the industrious country known for its fiscal discipline had GDP growth of 4.2%, followed by respectable 3% GDP growth in 2011.

Unfortunately, for Germans and the world, there are increasing signs the German economy is being marred by the global crisis. In 2012, GDP growth was a meager 0.7%. More significantly, GDP actually contracted by 0.5% in the fourth quarter.

Währung – Deutschland: Devisen: Euro gibt nach – IWF prognostiziert auch für 2013 Rezession im Euroraum

No Contradiction Here

January 21, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic power, Bürgschaften, Energy, Exports, Finance, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Loans, Nuclear power, The Energy Turnaround Leave a comment

Just move along, folks. Nothing to look at here.

While German dedication to saving the German environment by ridding the country of nuclear power is in full swing (sort of), the German government has absolutely no problem using public money to guarantee the construction of nuclear power plants in other countries at the same time.

It’s not a contradiction really, though. Honest. Environment Minister Peter Almaier’s current ministry slogan is “high time that something changed” and they are even trying to set up an international club of countries who have done/will do away with nuclear energy. And that’s the main thing. So something has changed, sort of. The countries Germany is helping to build atomic energy programs for just won’t be allowed to join their club, that’s all.

“It is a gross contradiction, that we are pushing forwards with the change in energy generation while supporting atomic energy abroad.”

How About Berlin Brandenburg Willy-Nilly Instead?

January 15, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, BBI, BER, Berlin, Berlin-Brandenburg Airport, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Mismanagement, Satire, Willy Brandt Airport Leave a comment

Or maybe Berlin Brandenburg Infamy International?

For now, Berlin’s new airport is officially called Willy Brandt Airport after the former Germ chancellor and Nobel Peace Prize winner widely acknowledged to have been one of post-war Germany’s greatest leaders.

But the image of the airport has been tarnished so heavily by the construction fiasco surrounding it that the Willy Brandt Foundation appears to regret the choice of name.

“Willy Brandt would probably turn in his grave if he knew that he’s supposed to give his name to this catastrophic airport.”

“Laser”

January 14, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Defense, Dr. Evil, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Lasers, Satire, Technology, Weapon exports, Weapons Leave a comment

Dr. Evil: [about his new “laser“] You see, I’ve turned the moon into what I like to call a “Death Star”. [Scott snickers]

German defense firm Rheinmetall Defense used a new high-energy laser weapons system to shoot fast-moving drones at a distance. The system, which uses two laser weapons, was also used to cut through a steel girder a kilometer away.

All I can say is thank goodness this technology is in German hands. That way it will only be used for peaceful purposes. You know, like making money, and stuff like that.

ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Lego Might Be The Solution

January 10, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Airports, BBI, BER, Berlin, Berlin Brandenburg International, Cartoons, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jokes, Klaus Wowereit, Satire 3 Comments

Come pick up your Lego blocks!

We’re building a big international airport. It’s going to take a while.

Going, Going…

January 7, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Airports, BER, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Klaus Wowereit, Mismanagement, Project Management, Socialists, Willy Brandt International Airport 2 Comments

Not quite gone. But just give this a little more time to ripen. One thing’s for sure: Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will definitely be gone as mayor before Berlin’s international airport ever opens – now pushed back to 2014.

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit stepped down on Monday as head of a board overseeing the building of the city’s new international airport after yet another delay in the project dealt a fresh blow to Germany’s reputation for efficiency.

But Wowereit told a news conference he would not resign as mayor, despite calls for him to step down, due to the debacle over Willy Brandt International Airport, which was originally planned to open in 2008.

How’s that saying go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. That is, it’s better to make a painful break than draw out the agony. And funny, I wouldn’t find a break like that painful at all.

“It’s over, Klaus.”

Doing Business With Communist Regimes R Us

January 4, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Business, Communism, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Kim Jong Un, North Korea, Satire 3 Comments

You won’t regret it, Pyongyang! Germans have always been the one-stop experts when it comes to laying the groundwork for foreign investment in crumbling shithole communist states!

And here are just a few of the bennies your North Korean “companies” will soon be getting out of the coming deal:

We have absolutely no problem validating communism – we’ve been doing it for decades!

Our proven track record of indifference to the suffering populations under oppressive totalitarian regimes is virtually unmatched in the Western World!

Our economists and lawyers are all “can do will do” when it comes to selling expensive stuff to bullies of all varieties, no matter how bizarre, deranged or absolutely wacko they may be!

That is why you know that we support your latest master plan wholeheartedly – and we Germans KNOW a thing or two about master plans, too.

So remember Kim Jong: We are the pros when it comes to helping you help ourselves to help you help ourselves while helping you help us in the process.

“There is a master plan. They want to open up this year.”

You May Not Know This, Amerika…

January 2, 2013 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hypocrisy Tags: Budget Compromise, Democrats, Fiscal Cliff, Germans, Germany, Humor, Hype, Ideals, Journalism, Obama, Propaganda, Republicans Leave a comment

But you are paralyzed. And it’s all the Republicans’ fault, too.

I mean it’s not like it could ever be President Obama HIMSELF who refuses to budge when it comes to matters of the “fiscal cliff” kind. Could it?

What we’ve got here people, the Spiegel tells us, is not just a failure to communicate (and guess who’s Strother Martin here):

We are, in short, witnessing a superpower losing its way in a maze of details, propelled forward by grandstanding politicians (who aren’t the President) hewing slavishly to ideology.

Saudi A.

December 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Burnout, Depression, Disease Mongering, Exports, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Saudia Arabia, Weapons Exports 1 Comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

PS: Beautiful German scam of the week (of the decade?): “Burnout and Depression: Mental Suffering Forces Ever More Victims Into Early Retirement.”

Euro Crisis Is Over Or Something

December 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Austerity, Berlin, Debt, Debt Crisis, EU, Euro, Finances, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire 1 Comment

So have a Happy New Year already.

Germany’s finance minister says the worst of euro area’s debt crisis appears to be over after three years of worries over Greece and other members of the group of 17 European Union countries that use the single currency.

Meanwhile…

Berlin’s mantra about spending cuts in the eurozone is bringing unemployment and spreading hopelessness across Europe.

So take your pick, it’s both.

“I think we have the worst behind us.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Heconomy