Peugeopel

February 14, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Automobiles, Bailouts, General Motors, German, Germans, Germany, Opel, Peugeot Leave a comment

That rolls right off your tongue, doesn’t it?

GM gets rescued by the American government (government is a code word for taxpayer, by the way), Opel gets rescued by the German government and Peugeot gets rescued by the French government. Is there a pattern developing here or something? Now GM is going to rescue itself out of Europe and dump its Opel on Peugeot, making it a Peugeopel. But who the hell would want to rescue one of those?

General Motors is in advanced talks to sell its European Opel subsidiary to France’s PSA Peugeot Citroen, Handelsblatt confirmed after Reuters broke the story. A Peugeot spokesperson told Handelsblatt that the two are in discussions “over the purchase of Opel.” A deal “could be announced within days,” sources told Reuters.

Seit Jahren versucht General Motors vergeblich, seine Marke Opel zu sanieren. Nun steht offenbar ein Verkauf an den französischen Konkurrenten Peugeot an.

This Was A Hard Decision To Make

February 13, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Cats, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, German, Germans, Germany, Olivia Jones, Presidents 2 Comments

No, not deciding as in electing the walking sleeping pill Frank-Walter Steinmeier himself so unceremoniously to the ceremonial office of president of Germany. That was a no-brainer, in more ways than one. I mean deciding as in whether to write a post about that boring election or about the cat in Lörrach. So here’s the cat story.

This cat locked his owner lady out of her apartment by shutting and somehow locking the balcony door while she was out there getting some fresh air. There was no locksmith available at that hour so she called the cops and they threw her one of their nightsticks so she could bust the glass door open to get back inside again. Is that cool or what? Other than that though, not much going on.

Mit einem Sprung gegen die Klinke hatte die Katze die Balkontür in der Nacht zu Sonntag von innen verschlossen.

German Air Farce Ready For Action

February 12, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: A400M, Air Force, German, Germans, Germany, Government spending, Government Waste, Luftwaffe, Military, NATO 1 Comment

Only one of Germany’s eight way-over-budget Airbus A400M military transport planes is working at the moment, if working is the proper word for a military transport plane that will never actually be used anywhere anyway. Jeepers. That’s like, I dunno, less than half or something.

Germany’s defense minister Ursula von der Leyen apparently discovered this problem single handedly after the A400M she had taken for a visit to Lithuania broke down there.

Meanwhile… Countless aircraft belonging to German Billigflieger (budget airlines) loaded with countless tons of German tourists don’t seem to be having any technical problems whatsoever. Their number will be increasing dramatically this summer. You just got to set your priorities right these days, I guess.

Zum Sommer wächst das Angebot der Billigflieger an deutschen Flughäfen kräftig.

German Of The Day: Schweinefurz

February 10, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Bans, Böhmermann, Courts, Erdogan, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Language, Law, Satire Leave a comment

That means pig fart. And pig farts are super hilarious here in Germany (Hey, German humor is what it is. I’m not passing judgement here or anything).

Unless, of course, they are directed toward foreign heads of state, so-to-speak.

A German court upheld ban on a satirical poem which suggested Turkey’s president had sex with animals and watched child porn. The Hamburg court upheld its injunction issued in May banning re-publication of parts of the poem which it called ‘abusive and defamatory’.

A lamb or a llama fart probably probably wouldn’t have been all that bad in this guy’s poem, but pig fart? That just doesn’t cut it (Cut it, get it?).

„Schweinefurz“ ist für Erdogan besonders ehrverletzend.

435,000 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

February 8, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum, Deportation, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees Leave a comment

435,000 bottles of beer.

Expensive bottles of imported beer. No, make that deported beer.

“We carried over 435,000 cases into the new year and we want to have dealt with those this spring.”

“If there is virtually no prospect for a migrant to stay here, it makes sense to push for an early repatriation and to encourage that financially.”

Nero Was The Guy In The Matrix, Right?

February 7, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Der Spiegel, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Journalism, Journalists, Media, Nero, Trump 2 Comments

More cool Spiegel stuff, folks.

Trump as Nero: Europe Must Defend Itself Against A Dangerous President.

It is literally painful to write this sentence, but the president of the United States is a pathological liar. The president of the U.S. is a racist (it also hurts to write this). He is attempting a coup from the top; he wants to establish an illiberal democracy, or worse; he wants to undermine the balance of power. He fired an acting attorney general who held a differing opinion from his own and accused her of “betrayal.” This is the vocabulary used by Nero, the emperor and destroyer of Rome. It is the way tyrants think.

I feel your pain, buddy. It literally hurts me to read this about how it literally hurts you to write this. Let’s both of us stop all this hurting, literally, and move on already. Please.

Norway

February 3, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Pacifism, Profit, Submarines, Thyssen-Krupp, Weapons 2 Comments

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

“We are extremely pleased and proud that we managed to convince Norway of the superiority of our proven technology.”

Diplomacy Is Everything

February 2, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Diplomacy, Foreign Policy, German, Germans, Germany, Sigmar Gabriel, SPD, Trump 2 Comments

Just ask Donald Trump (after he gets off the phone with Australia). He and the new German foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) ought to get along just fine. He’s coming for a visit to Washington today. If they let him through airport security, I mean.

“The US will have to build better cars.”

“Here in Europe, it is not our policy to stigmatize people.”

“He actually means it and I think we must dress warmly (be prepared).”

“Dear USA, stay the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

“Like speculators who ride the wave of rage, without care for the consequences.”

“I hope to have a direct and personal exchange, as well as to offer friendship and trust to Washington,” Gabriel said ahead of the meeting.

Grossly Undervalued?

February 1, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Currencies, Dollar, EU, Euro, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Peter Navarro, Savings, Trump Leave a comment

Grossly overvalued? The main thing is, gross.

When it comes to the advantage that Germany has taken of the euro, Navarro is right about effect, if not motive.

The euro has been bad for German democracy and for German savers and may well ultimately prove to be a disaster for its taxpayers too, but it has been a boon for the country’s exporters. The euro is far weaker than the Deutsche Mark would have been (as was always likely to have been the case). This means that Germany’s decision to abandon its old currency in favor of the euro has acted as a disguised devaluation, a devaluation that has only deepened as the structural imbalances within the common currency have dragged the euro down still further.

Navarro sagte der “Financial Times”, Deutschland profitiere in seinen Handelsbeziehungen von einer “extrem unterbewerteten ‘impliziten Deutschen Mark'”.

German Calls For More Gun Control In Crazy Canada Not All That Loud For Some Reason

January 30, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Canada, German, Germans, Germany, Gun control, Islam, Muslims, Quebec, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

Strange. When shootings like these take place in Nutty US-Amerika that’s the first thing you hear.

But maybe it does make sense, sort of. Canada already has strict gun control laws so crimes like these can’t and therefore didn’t just happen.

Ein Augenzeuge sagte dem Sender, zwei maskierte Männer hätten das Gebäude gestürmt, das Feuer auf die Betenden eröffnet und dabei „Allahu Akbar“ (Gott ist groß) gerufen.

PS: White racist types like this Mohamed Khadir guy should not be allowed to walk the streets, I say.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness