We Hate Being The Hegemon

But somebody has to do it.

It wasn’t all that long ago that Germany knew how important it was in Europe but kept its mouth shut about it (while pulling the strings behind France’s back). Those days of semi-credible falsche Bescheidenheit (false modesty) are over, sort of. Now they continue to refuse to lead openly, but still pull the strings. Only France isn’t standing there anymore.

As shown once again during yesterday’s latest “rescue” of Europe, Germany makes the decisions while France still holds the press conferences, but the absurdity of this show is starting to lose a lot of its regular viewers. This formula has jumped the shark, in other words.

But as long as major contradictions keep on coming, everybody here in Germany is happy. You remember, don’t you? Germany fled into the EU to protect itself from itself (there was something about World War II a few years ago). Now it dominates Europe through its sheer economic power anyway, but still psychologically/socially/institutionally traumatized (and loving it), refuses to openly take the role history has assigned it. It prefers instead to publically turn its back on Europe (nobody on the street in Germany truly undestands or much cares about Europe) and concentrate instead on more important things at home like solar energy, local elections and not hurting coalition partners’ feelings.

In other words, Germany may clearly call all the shots now, but it still refuses to lead. Which is kind of clever, if you think about it. When everything ends up going tango uniform later, it wasn’t Germany’s fault.

Mit politischer Macht verhält es sich wie mit Millionen von Euro auf dem Konto: Man spricht nicht darüber.

Dumb Broad Talking

Or was it Dead Man Walking?

A favorite tactic of left-wing wanna-be moralists everywhere (and of those flashy Hollywood types in particular), fading actress-with-a-cause-but-I-forget-which-one-it-is-this-week Susan Sarandon successfully boosted relations with her public and her vaunted sense of self by tossing around Nazi analogies at Pope Benedict XVI over the weekend. The current Pope is German, you see. And old. Get it?

And being a good Catholic girl who played a well-known nun in a film called Dead Man Walking way back when in 1995, when Christ was a corporal, she certainly shows that she knows what she is not talking about (knows what she is not talking about?).

Some, however, believe that she might actually be “ignorant” of lots and lots of things, which can’t really be though, can it?

“No, the last one. Not this Susan Sarandon we have now.”

Our Curricula Can’t Cover Everything

Happy German Unity Day or something.

The GDR is part of school curricula – at the end of the 10th grade, after the unit on World War II. Some teachers say they just never get to the GDR, because their students need more time to digest all of the heavy history that came before it. Other teachers and parents simply don’t want to relive their past.

“When I give tours like this now, [two decades] after the end of the GDR, I’m amazed at how little is known about it.”

The GDR wasn’t so bad, her godmother said, as long as you didn’t criticize the system; you could have a normal family life just like in the West.

But in general, many young people are unfamiliar with East Germany: a majority doesn’t know who built the Berlin Wall or whether Willy Brandt was a politician in the East or the West.

“The division of Germany and the postwar period are probably some of the most documented times in history. There are endless shelves full of books on the subject,” Hillmer said. “But the collective historical memory is at zero. All these countless anniversary events aren’t changing anything.”

“The main finding of our study is that young people today, from both the East and the West, are not really able to differentiate between democracy and dictatorship.”

Forest Boy Actually Forrest Gump Boy

Berlin Police have now begun casting doubts about the truth of the story given by the so-called “Forest Boy” who claims to have lived in a forest somewhere for five years before showing up at Berlin City Hall one day to ask for help, just like that or something.

His recent refusal to co-operate in the investigation to help discover his true identity has made many here suspicious and has even led some officials to believe that he is in fact a “Forrest Gump Boy,” one of those simpleton-like boys who travel around the world in an attempt to meet historical figures, influence popular culture and experience firsthand some of the historic events of the early 21st century (not that anything of historic interest would ever happen here in Berlin, but still).

Dumm ist der, der Dummes tut.

Wayne’s World

Kennst Du Wayne? Wayne es interessiert?

Is anybody here really supposed to care that the Pirate Party, “a party in tune with the Berlin vibe” (and a cheap if not even flakier immitation of the Swedish original) attracted enough votes to win its first ever seats in the Berlin state parliament yesterday?

Nothing aginst Internet freedom activist freaks or anything, I just don’t want to have to deal with them in the non-virtual world like this.

Of course the real news is that the FDP (a real live party from Planet Earth) got tossed out. Hey, Scheiße happens.

And here you thought California was the land of nuts, flakes and fruits.

“Wir werden als erstes auf die Laternen klettern und unsere Plakate wieder runterholen.”

Tribute

You got to pay tribute where tribute is due. And Germany’s Left party has done it yet again–and deserve the tribute (damn these guys are on a roll these days). By paying tribute to former Cuban leader Fidel Castro in a letter to mark his 85th birthday over the weekend, I mean.

“You can look back proudly on your life of battles and successful action at the head of the Cuban revolution,” the letter goes. OK. But always remember: The Left party is not communist or communist-like or even all that left-leaning in any way shape or form, as they say time and time again. They’re just, uh, progressive or something.

Auf die Genossen in Deutschland kann sich Fidel Castro verlassen. Pünktlich zum 85. Geburtstag des kubanischen Revolutionsführers hat die Parteispitze der Linken eine Grußbotschaft nach Havanna geschickt, die den Jubilar gerührt haben dürfte.

The Left Keeps Talking

At least these guys are consistent.

Three Die Linke politicians snub minute’s silence and far-left newspaper lists reasons to be grateful for Berlin Wall.

A far-left newspaper added to the controversy by printing a front page saying “thank you” to the wall for “28 years of keeping the peace in Europe” and “28 years of plentiful crèche and kindergarten places”.

The story even paid tribute to 28 years of Club Cola, East Germany’s answer to the Coca-Cola of the imperialist west, and of FKK, a nudist movement popular in East Germany.

Leave It To The Linke (I wanted to say beaver sooo bad but just couldn’t bring myself to do so)

Timing is everything. Today is of course the 50th anniversary of the building of the Berlin Wall, not that anybody actually feels like celebrating or anything.

So what does Left party leader Gesine Lötzsch do? What she always does. When not lecturing about “Paths to Communism” in the Junge Welt (communist, sorry marxist) newspaper, she likes to make other provocative pronouncements to keep her constituents happy. The most recent zinger: The building of the Berlin Wall was a logical consequence of World War II. In other words, it wasn’t us communists who did it (you know, good old German denial), it was those other guys. Not that she is a communist or anything, of course. She isn’t and never was and never will be and will tell you this time and time again until she is red, I mean blue in the face.

Times sure have changed in fifty years, haven’t they? Not for everybody, though. I’m sure there are still some folks out there who still believe the world is flat, too.  Whatever. It’s amazing really, and funny, sort of, and I guess everyone has gotten pretty used to her comments by now so let the festivities begin or something.

Speaking of comments, the best comment I read about her was from the guy who said that when you listen to Frau Lötzsch you get the sneaking suspicion that she is that last government spokesman of the GDR.

“Frau Lötzsch wirkt wie die letzte Regierungssprecherin der DDR.”

PS: Just in case anybody was wondering, the Left party governs as part of the city government right here in Berlin this very day.

Oh My God We’re All Gonna Die Yet Again Once More Again This Time For Real Already

Historic? Damned right it’s historic (the debt deal – if it actually passes).

“In the first stage, it includes $917 billion in spending cuts and other deficit reduction now, as well as a $900 billion increase in the debt ceiling.

In the second stage, a special joint committee of Congress will recommend further deficit reduction steps totaling $1.5 trillion or more by the end of November, with Congress obligated to vote on the panel’s proposals by the end of the year.

In addition, across-the-board cuts are automatically enacted if Congress fails to pass the special committee’s recommendations.”

I can only hope that what seems to be one of the Spiegel‘s worst fears will actually come true and the US government has now begun a process that will “shrink itself to a skeletal state.” That just sounds too good to be true, though.

“Es gibt kein Licht am Ende des Tunnels.”

What do you mean abandoned amusement park?

“Berlin is littered with relics of its communist past, with one of the eeriest being Spreepark, where the remains of what was once East Germany’s only amusement park still stand.”

This whole city is one big abandoned communist funfair, lady (or at least big chunks of that Wild East part of town are).

They are everywhere I tell you, all around us, immer und überall, like vampires, or even zombies if you prefer. But maybe that’s just me.

By the way, that park was way cool when it was still running. Really cheesy and schräg. But maybe that’s just me too.

The amusement park’s history is as colorful as its rides once were. The Kulturpark Plaenterwald, as it was known under communism, was also used as a meeting point by youths rebelling against the state’s collectivist system.