Wayne’s World

Kennst Du Wayne? Wayne es interessiert?

Is anybody here really supposed to care that the Pirate Party, “a party in tune with the Berlin vibe” (and a cheap if not even flakier immitation of the Swedish original) attracted enough votes to win its first ever seats in the Berlin state parliament yesterday?

Nothing aginst Internet freedom activist freaks or anything, I just don’t want to have to deal with them in the non-virtual world like this.

Of course the real news is that the FDP (a real live party from Planet Earth) got tossed out. Hey, Scheiße happens.

And here you thought California was the land of nuts, flakes and fruits.

“Wir werden als erstes auf die Laternen klettern und unsere Plakate wieder runterholen.”

Tribute

You got to pay tribute where tribute is due. And Germany’s Left party has done it yet again–and deserve the tribute (damn these guys are on a roll these days). By paying tribute to former Cuban leader Fidel Castro in a letter to mark his 85th birthday over the weekend, I mean.

“You can look back proudly on your life of battles and successful action at the head of the Cuban revolution,” the letter goes. OK. But always remember: The Left party is not communist or communist-like or even all that left-leaning in any way shape or form, as they say time and time again. They’re just, uh, progressive or something.

Auf die Genossen in Deutschland kann sich Fidel Castro verlassen. Pünktlich zum 85. Geburtstag des kubanischen Revolutionsführers hat die Parteispitze der Linken eine Grußbotschaft nach Havanna geschickt, die den Jubilar gerührt haben dürfte.

The Left Keeps Talking

At least these guys are consistent.

Three Die Linke politicians snub minute’s silence and far-left newspaper lists reasons to be grateful for Berlin Wall.

A far-left newspaper added to the controversy by printing a front page saying “thank you” to the wall for “28 years of keeping the peace in Europe” and “28 years of plentiful crèche and kindergarten places”.

The story even paid tribute to 28 years of Club Cola, East Germany’s answer to the Coca-Cola of the imperialist west, and of FKK, a nudist movement popular in East Germany.

Leave It To The Linke (I wanted to say beaver sooo bad but just couldn’t bring myself to do so)

Timing is everything. Today is of course the 50th anniversary of the building of the Berlin Wall, not that anybody actually feels like celebrating or anything.

So what does Left party leader Gesine Lötzsch do? What she always does. When not lecturing about “Paths to Communism” in the Junge Welt (communist, sorry marxist) newspaper, she likes to make other provocative pronouncements to keep her constituents happy. The most recent zinger: The building of the Berlin Wall was a logical consequence of World War II. In other words, it wasn’t us communists who did it (you know, good old German denial), it was those other guys. Not that she is a communist or anything, of course. She isn’t and never was and never will be and will tell you this time and time again until she is red, I mean blue in the face.

Times sure have changed in fifty years, haven’t they? Not for everybody, though. I’m sure there are still some folks out there who still believe the world is flat, too.  Whatever. It’s amazing really, and funny, sort of, and I guess everyone has gotten pretty used to her comments by now so let the festivities begin or something.

Speaking of comments, the best comment I read about her was from the guy who said that when you listen to Frau Lötzsch you get the sneaking suspicion that she is that last government spokesman of the GDR.

“Frau Lötzsch wirkt wie die letzte Regierungssprecherin der DDR.”

PS: Just in case anybody was wondering, the Left party governs as part of the city government right here in Berlin this very day.

Oh My God We’re All Gonna Die Yet Again Once More Again This Time For Real Already

Historic? Damned right it’s historic (the debt deal – if it actually passes).

“In the first stage, it includes $917 billion in spending cuts and other deficit reduction now, as well as a $900 billion increase in the debt ceiling.

In the second stage, a special joint committee of Congress will recommend further deficit reduction steps totaling $1.5 trillion or more by the end of November, with Congress obligated to vote on the panel’s proposals by the end of the year.

In addition, across-the-board cuts are automatically enacted if Congress fails to pass the special committee’s recommendations.”

I can only hope that what seems to be one of the Spiegel‘s worst fears will actually come true and the US government has now begun a process that will “shrink itself to a skeletal state.” That just sounds too good to be true, though.

“Es gibt kein Licht am Ende des Tunnels.”

What do you mean abandoned amusement park?

“Berlin is littered with relics of its communist past, with one of the eeriest being Spreepark, where the remains of what was once East Germany’s only amusement park still stand.”

This whole city is one big abandoned communist funfair, lady (or at least big chunks of that Wild East part of town are).

They are everywhere I tell you, all around us, immer und überall, like vampires, or even zombies if you prefer. But maybe that’s just me.

By the way, that park was way cool when it was still running. Really cheesy and schräg. But maybe that’s just me too.

The amusement park’s history is as colorful as its rides once were. The Kulturpark Plaenterwald, as it was known under communism, was also used as a meeting point by youths rebelling against the state’s collectivist system.

Debt Expert Deutschland

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Mr. Ritschl, Germany is coming across like a know-it-all in the debate over aid for Greece. Berlin is intransigent and is demanding obedience from Athens. Is this attitude justified?

Ritschl: No, there is no basis for it.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: Most Germans would likely disagree.

Ritschl: That may be, but during the 20th century, Germany was responsible for what were the biggest national bankruptcies in recent history. It is only thanks to the United States, which sacrificed vast amounts of money after both World War I and World War II, that Germany is financially stable today and holds the status of Europe’s headmaster. That fact, unfortunately, often seems to be forgotten.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: What happened back then exactly?

Ritschl: From 1924 to 1929, the Weimar Republic lived on credit and even borrowed the money it needed for its World War I reparations payments from America. This credit pyramid collapsed during the economic crisis of 1931. The money was gone, the damage to the United States enormous, the effect on the global economy devastating.

SPIEGEL ONLINE: The situation after World War II was similar.

Ritschl: But right afterwards, America immediately took steps to ensure there wouldn’t be a repeat of high reparations demands made on Germany. With only a few exceptions, all such demands were put on the backburner until Germany’s future reunification. For Germany, that was a life-saving gesture, and it was the actual financial basis of the Wirtschaftswunder, or economic miracle (that began in the 1950s). But it also meant that the victims of the German occupation in Europe also had to forgo reparations, including the Greeks.

“He warns the country should take a more chaste approach in the euro crisis or it could face renewed demands for World War II reparations.”

Soccer Really Is A Woman’s Sport

Former Germany captain Michael Ballack stepped up his sharp criticism of Germany coach Joachim Loew, saying he had already decided to quit the national team when Loew announced that the player had no future with the side.

The 34-year-old former Chelsea midfielder said on Sunday that he wanted to announce the decision himself.

Ballack and the German football federation (DFB) have been trading barbs ever since Loew made the announcement on Thursday.

Meanwhile

The octopussies. The men, I mean.

“We agreed that I would make the announcement myself during the summer break.”

“Nobody has the intention of building a wall”

It was 50 years ago today,
Walter Ulbricht lied his ass away (as in off).

He’s been going in and out of style (mostly out),
but he’s still guaranteed to raise a smile.

Some world-class lies are better (and more complex) than others, especially when they are answers to questions that nobody ever asked. Was his just a Freudian slip? Did he purposely bring up not building a wall to bring the issue (everyone leaving East Germany) to a head and finally get Krushchev’s permission to build the thing? Or was he just a fun-loving prankster. At the moment I’m inclined to think it’s that last one. If you listen closely to his little laugh, it sounds way too much like Barney Rubble’s (the German synchronization).

Das hämische Lachen, das die Dreistigkeit der Lüge auch 50 Jahre danach noch zu steigern vermag, trägt comichafte Züge. Kein Wunder, erinnert es doch stark an Barney Geröllheimer, den besten Freund von Fred Feuerstein aus der US-Zeichentrickserie „The Flintstones“. Zumindest in der deutschen Übersetzung gleicht Barneys – von Gerd Duwner synchronisierte – berühmte „Hehehehe“-Lache der von Walter Ulbricht, als der DDR-Staatsratsvorsitzende am 15. Juni 1961 in einer legendären Pressekonferenz Geschichte schreibt – in dem er auf eine Frage antwortet, die gar nicht gestellt worden ist.