Egyptians Better At This, Too

November 17, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Climate Change, CO2, German, Germans, Germany, Rankings, Studies Leave a comment

Not only do Egyptians beat Germans when it comes to completing building projects (German construction sites are built to last and last and last), they are also better than the Germans when it comes to reducing CO2 emission levels (and they don’t preach about it all day long while they’re doing it like the Germans do, either).

A new ranking of how well countries are working to limit climate change shows that Germany has fallen behind countries like Egypt and Mexico to 29th place worldwide.

PS: But when it comes to completing construction site projects, not even the Egyptians can whop the Japanese.

And You Thought The Next President Of The United States Was A Real Shocker

November 14, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, President, SPD, Steinmeier Leave a comment

It could be worse. You could live here in Germany.

Well at least they don’t let the people vote for their presidents here. This guy, Mr. Diplomat, is now going to become Mr. President. Talk about a mediocrity, a sheep in sheep’s clothing and all that. He is the living, breathing Spiegel Gutmensch in person. Only he’s not really a real person in reality. He’s more like that Abraham Lincoln robot dude I remember seeing once at Disneyland when I was a kid, only this one can walk. And talk at the same time, sort of (forget the chewing bubble gum at the same time part, though). It’s best if you turn off the volume whenever he starts talking, however. It’s more like a whine. And I don’t mean a fine whine, either.

That’s right. In other words he’ll be the perfect president for Germany.

Steinmeier (SPD), backed by many German industry leaders, academics and cultural leaders, raised concerns among U.S. and NATO officials earlier this year when he said a series of Western military exercises in eastern Europe could be seen as “saber-rattling” against Russia.

Next Brilliant Green Idea Set To Explode In Their Brilliant Green Faces

November 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Language, Political Parties, State Spending, Taxation, Waste Leave a comment

Having years of experience when it comes to introducing ideas that nobody likes and losing votes and power because of it, the German Greens now plan to introduce a “wealth tax” to ensure that they will continue to lose votes in the upcoming 2017 election, as well.

In traditional re-distributive, Robin Hoodlum manner, they announced during their party conference in Wald Nottingheim (Nottingham Forest) that it is time to ask the “super rich,” whoever they might be, for a higher contribution to wasteful state spending and through this thus ensure that countless Mittelstand (middle class) companies in Germany will be disproportionately burdened. This will of course make them more competitive internationally. Not. As in Nottingham.

If industrialized countries, such as the US following Donald Trump’s victory, opted for a national orientation of their economy, German small- and medium-sized businesses would need their reserve funds more than ever before, Kretschmann stressed. The state should not go after these savings.

Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall

November 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin Wall, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Munich, Refugees, Walls 1 Comment

Like, duh. That’s because it’s already been built.

A 12-foot high barrier – higher than the Berlin Wall – is being erected in the German city of Munich to protect locals from young refugees who are set to move into the area.

Sie hatten wirklich keine Vorahnung?

German Engineering At Its Finest

November 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Audi, CO2, Deception, Defeat Devices, Dieselgate, Fraud, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Technology, VW Leave a comment

Fortschritt durch Technik. That’s Audi’s motto and means progress through technology.

And their latest advance in defeat device technology is a great step forward in consumer deception indeed.

Audi’s defeat device, camouflaged as a warm-up function, keys in on movements of the steering wheel to detect if the car is in the lab or not. Once in normal traffic, however, this warm-up function is deactivated and the vehicle switches to a higher fuel consumption mode, thus producing more CO2. Brilliant, don’t you think?

Come on, America. Why can’t you produce technology like this? These new fangled electric cars everybody is talking about these days don’t have any of this cool stuff.

So schummelte Audi bei CO² – Mit einer Software sollen Messergebnisse manipuliert worden sein.

Kraut EU Commissioner Sorry He Called Chinese Slitty-Eyed

November 4, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Chines, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Language, Racial Slurs 1 Comment

He actually meant to call them Chop Sticks. Or maybe Chinks. Or at the very least Ping Pongs.

What a Herm. This Boxhead Hun needs to get with the times already and call up the Racial Slur Database on that Heinee Handy (smartphone) of his. He is responsible for EU digital policy, after all.

“Frei von der Leber, as we say in German.”

I Can See For Miles

November 3, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Climate Protection, Environment, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Infringements, Smog Leave a comment

Or at least for a kilometer or two.

Germany likes to see itself as a pioneer when dealing with environmental issues, but when it comes to implementing European standards, Berlin is hardly a poster child.

The European Union has opened 16 infringement procedures in total against Germany, for failing to implement environmental legislation on time or even at all.

And then there is: Shock…Germany To Come To Marrakesh Conference Empty-Handed! Withdraws Climate Protection Plan! Thanks for the tweet, Joe.

Young Germans Shamelessly Copying Americans Again

November 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Media, Political Institutions, Politics, Polls, Religion, Skepticism, Studies, Surveys 1 Comment

Or at least that’s what the latest “Generation What?” survey taken by a German media group indicates to me: More than 70 percent of the young people here have no confidence in politics.

When asked about political institutions, only 27 percent replied that they “more or less” had confidence in them. Only one percent asked said they trusted these institutions completely.

They were nearly as skeptical when it came to confidence in religious institutions and in the media itself.

Mehr als 70 Prozent der jungen Menschen ohne Vertrauen in die Politik.

Germans Now Allowed To Watch So-Called “Music Videos”

November 1, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Copyright, GEMA, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Music Videos, YouTube Leave a comment

Damn. The down side here is that this is finally going to let South Sudan pass Germany by. When it comes to blocking online music videos, I mean.

The internet video platform YouTube and the German rights collection society GEMA have reached a deal under which artists who are GEMA members will receive payment when one of their videos is viewed, both sides announced on Tuesday. The agreement also brings an end to the red “blocking banners” notifying users in Germany that access to their favorite music was banned for copyright reasons.

“Ab heute geht’s los. Also habt bitte einen Moment Geduld, wenn noch nicht alle Videos sofort verfügbar sind.”

German Of The Day: Kleiner Waffenschein

October 30, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, German, Germans, Germany, Guns, Hamburg, ISIS, Language, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Terrorists, Weapons 1 Comment

That means small firearms license. And the number of these licenses just keeps on climbing here in Germany (an increase from 301,000 to 402,000 during the first six months of this year).

Gee. I wonder why?

Please note: These are licenses to carry guns that fire gas cartridges or blank rounds only. We don’t want to hurt the guy trying to kill us here or anything.

Der Anstieg setzte nach den Übergriffen der Silvesternacht in Köln ein.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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