Category Archives: Hurt Feelings

Germans Now Allowed To Watch So-Called “Music Videos”

November 1, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Damn. The down side here is that this is finally going to let South Sudan pass Germany by. When it comes to blocking online music videos, I mean.

GEMA
The internet video platform YouTube and the German rights collection society GEMA have reached a deal under which artists who are GEMA members will receive payment when one of their videos is viewed, both sides announced on Tuesday. The agreement also brings an end to the red “blocking banners” notifying users in Germany that access to their favorite music was banned for copyright reasons.

“Ab heute geht’s los. Also habt bitte einen Moment Geduld, wenn noch nicht alle Videos sofort verfügbar sind.”

German Of The Day: Kleiner Waffenschein

October 30, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means small firearms license. And the number of these licenses just keeps on climbing here in Germany (an increase from 301,000 to 402,000 during the first six months of this year).

Guns

Gee. I wonder why?

Please note: These are licenses to carry guns that fire gas cartridges or blank rounds only. We don’t want to hurt the guy trying to kill us here or anything.

Der Anstieg setzte nach den Übergriffen der Silvesternacht in Köln ein.

Creepy Clowns Now In German Mosques

October 28, 2016 By in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, not these kind of creepy clowns. The creepy bushy-long-beard Muslim kind of creepy clowns.

Clowns

That’s at least what many young Syrian refugees in Germany think of them. The mosques in Germany give them the heebie-jeebies because many of them “are more conservative than those at home.”

Hello? Germany? That’s your cue.

Hani Salam escaped civil war in Syria and survived the journey from Egypt to Europe. But when he saw men with bushy long beards at a mosque near his current home in Cologne last November, he was worried.

The men’s a ppearance reminded him of Jaish al-Islam, the Islamist rebels who took over his hometown near Damascus, said Salam, 36, who wears a mustache but no beard. One of them told Salam that “good Muslims grow beards, not moustaches,” he recalled – a centuries-old idea that he dismisses.

“One time when I was there, a Salafist asked a young Arab man to leave because he was wearing shorts. At the Turkish mosque no one cares what you’re wearing.”

German Of The Day: Liebling

October 27, 2016 By in High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means Liebling (favorite, darling). You know, like Liebling Kreuzberg? That was one of my Liebling TV shows I used to watch way back when in a place they used to call “West Berlin.”

Liebling

Manfred Krug, Mr. lawyer Liebling himself, passed away today. An interesting character, somehow managing to be successful and remain popular on both sides of what they used to call “the Berlin Wall.” Rest in peace.

Er war unser “Liebling Kreuzberg” und die Personifizierung eines Berliners, dabei stammte er aus Duisburg: Manfred “Manne” Krug.

Clowns Funny After All

October 26, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Horror, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

It took me forever to finally get how this creepy clown conspiracy stuff works but now I’m laughing my Hintern (behind) off.

Clowns

I had always found clowns creepy (even the old-school, “normal” kind) and anything but funny but that’s only because nobody had ever explained to me how this works. Once one of these new “horror clowns” shows up to bug you, for instance, you either stab them with a knife or wack them with a hammer. Well that’s how they’re doing it here in Germany. Hardy, har, har! Give me more!

Horror-Clown-Attacke: Junge wehrt sich mit “Hammer Gottes.”

Wussy Clowns Pissed Off At Creepy Clowns

October 21, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Worried about the bad reputation the current creepy clown conspiracy could give the already bad reputation that wussy, so-called “genuine” clowns in the German clown industry now enjoy, wussy clown spokesmen have denounced the creepy clowns as being “a bunch of creeps” and have asked them to “please stop clowning around already.”

Clowns

“It’s bad enough that we scare that pants off of small children and animals already,” one spokesman said. “While cheering them up against their will, I mean. But now you want to freak out the rest of the nation in just the same way? Like how sick is that?”

Der Dachverband „Dachverband Clowns in Medizin und Pflege Deutschland e.V.“ hat sich am Mittwoch in einer Pressemitteilung zu Wort gemeldet. Und bittet um Abgrenzung. „Grusel-Clowns sind keine Clowns“, heißt es darin. „Es sind wirre Menschen, die ihre destruktiven Neigungen nur auf diese armselige Art ausleben wollen. Sie sind weder komisch noch beeindruckend, sondern ein grotesker Abklatsch einer zutiefst menschlichen, positiven Freude an der Anarchie.

German Of The Day: Rechtspopulistisch

October 19, 2016 By in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means right-wing populist. You know, like what the German state TV channel ARD has insisted upon labeling the AfD party up until now?

AfD

This has changed, however. As the head talking head what’s in charge over there (in there?) explains: “The background behind this is the fact that given the latest state elections, the AfD has attained such a high level of recognition that the permanent classification of them through this attribute is no longer necessary in order to make an orientation possible by the viewers.” The proper orientation, I assume he means.

The Pöbel (rabble) has now finally been dutifully informed so the ARD is going to gracefully condescend to move on to the next Umerziehungsmaßnahme (re-education measure) on the list. Whatever that might be. So stay tuned. As if you had a choice.

Hintergrund dieser Vorgehensweise ist die Tatsache, dass die AfD nicht zuletzt aufgrund der zurückliegenden Landtagswahlen einen solch hohen Bekanntheitsgrad erreicht hat, dass es der permanenten Einordnung durch dieses Attribut nicht mehr Bedarf, um den Zuschauerinnen und Zuschauern eine Orientierung zu ermöglichen

German Of The Day: Durch die ganze Linie

October 16, 2016 By in Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means “through the entire line,” as in all down the line, or by all involved, in this case.

Jaber Al-Bakr

So, let’s sum up this Jaber al-Bakr case in Germany: First of all, you have a German intelligence service (BND) that isn’t in the position to know about this guy or his plans on its own – that evil US-Amerikan NSA had to give them the tip. Then you’ve got policemen who let this guy get away during their raid. After that he gets captured, tied up and turned in to the police by three Syrian refugees. And to top it off, the authorities then guarding him let him commit suicide in his cell.

All in all, some top-notch work. All down the line. By all involved.

Einem Medienbericht zufolge hat ein US-Geheimdienst einen entscheidenden Hinweis auf den Terrorverdächtigen Dschaber al Bakr geliefert.

German Jail Guards Shocked That Syrian Suicide Bomb Suspect Would Want To Kill Himself

October 14, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

“I am incredibly shocked and in disbelief that this could have happened,” said one guard after being informed of the hanging, while eating a sandwich and watching Tatort in the break room.

Suicide

“Yeah. Just because some guy was fiddling around with the same high explosive used for the suicide vests in the Paris attacks doesn’t necessarily mean he was out to harm himself,” another guard replied, sitting next to the first guard, playing solitaire. “Besides, we’re like nowhere even near Paris.”

No other jail guards were present to be interviewed at the time of this post so their comments concerning the incident will have to be gathered later.

Man kann den Eindruck bekommen, als wäre hier vorgegangen worden, als sei das ein Taschendieb, der vor dem Hauptbahnhof gefangen worden ist.