German Soldiers Burning Out Like Flies
And here you thought American soldiers had it bad. Put yourselves in a German soldier’s boots for once already.
It seems that the many Bundeswehr reforms taking place these days (they’re basically cutting the German army down to the size of a large police force which will never be used either) strain German soldiers way too awful much. Particularly “overtime and anxiety about the future” afflict them grievously, I read.
“It is an unprecedented test of severity” for these soldiers and their families, causing frustration, turmoil and exhaustion and… Burn-out! You know, another one of those imaginary disease imports custom-made for German society, or the lack thereof (Burn-out is very fashionable here these days. Just the other day a Bundesliga soccer coach threw in his towel quite publicly. A freakin’ soccer coach?).
And the punch line of this article (which I originally assumed to be of a satirical nature)? Not a word was mentioned about Afghanistan or any possible stress that a German soldier might be experiencing there. I guess that means that it’s less stressful to be a German soldier in Afghanistan than it is to be one back home in Germany.
Although it must be kind of stressful, or at least confusing, being a combat soldier in an army that never takes part in any combat operations even when it is in a war that isn’t really a war because this is Germany and being in wars, although having an army, is no longer provided for. Damn. Just thinking about that has me burning out already.
“Es darf keine Reformverlierer geben.”
World Domination Plans Suddenly Not Working
A few months ago everybody thought that the Greens were going to take over the Berlin city government. Now they can’t even form a coalition as junior partner with Mayor Teflon himself, Party Klaus Wowereit (as in SPD).
The issue? It’s a non-issue, as usual. This time it’s a two-mile stretch of Autobahn that everybody in Berlin wants to have, except the Green Shirt ideologues (and the fruitier varieties even further up in outer space). I guess this was supposed to be Berlin’s Stuttgart 21, whatever that was/is (will someone finally explain that to me?).
And what is the Green ideology, you ask? Saying no. Just say no. Say no and ask questions later. And that, liebe Freunde, is why the Greens have become a big fat Volkspartei in Germany, get it? But you can only say no for so long, I guess. Even in Germany. Even in Berlin.
“Eine moderne wirtschaftsfreundliche Infrastruktur ist die Grundlage des Wohlstands in Deutschland, dazu gehören auch Autobahnen, Schienenwege, Stromtrassen und Pipelines. Es ist ein großer Irrtum der Grünen, wenn sie meinen, das alles wäre im 21. Jahrhundert nicht mehr so wichtig.”
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
First the good news: Germans are no more depressive than they used to be.
The bad news is that they are now no longer expected to keep their depressions to themselves and are being asked to come out of their closets to tell everybody about it.
The numbers are shocking or something. Fear industry experts at the Foundation for German Depression Assistance say that there are four million depressed people in Germany, two-thirds of them being women. Just like the rest of us, their lives are filled with angst, emptiness and desperation. But unlike others, these folks are much easier to manipulate (by organizations like the Foundation of German Depression Assistance, for instance) and can and will be made to come public with their ailments, real or imaginary, thus “breaking a taboo” and further increasing their number and the throng of psychotherapeutically challenged pilgrims to organizations like, well, take a guess.
The development is in fact so dramatic that comedian Harald Schmidt has been asked to get involved as a sponsor. And anybody who wasn’t depressed before attending a conference moderated by this guy will be by the time he leaves.
Gee. All of this gives German depression assistance a whole new meaning or something.
Vier Millionen Depressive in Deutschland – das kann nicht nur am Fernsehprogramm liegen.
58 Beer Mug Brawls
Now that’s what I call another gelungene (successful) and jolly old Oktoberfest.
And this year’s lost and found items were pretty interesting, too: Along with the 500 wallets, 400 cell phones, the crutches and the wheelchairs (that beer really can work wonders) and the 1300 pieces of clothing (they won’t say what kind), some false teeth, a Wiking helmet, a megaphone and a Blattheuschrecke (grasshopper) also got handed in. One year somebody even showed up with a glass eye.
Zum Wohl!
Our Curricula Can’t Cover Everything
Happy German Unity Day or something.
The GDR is part of school curricula – at the end of the 10th grade, after the unit on World War II. Some teachers say they just never get to the GDR, because their students need more time to digest all of the heavy history that came before it. Other teachers and parents simply don’t want to relive their past.
“When I give tours like this now, [two decades] after the end of the GDR, I’m amazed at how little is known about it.”
The GDR wasn’t so bad, her godmother said, as long as you didn’t criticize the system; you could have a normal family life just like in the West.
But in general, many young people are unfamiliar with East Germany: a majority doesn’t know who built the Berlin Wall or whether Willy Brandt was a politician in the East or the West.
“The division of Germany and the postwar period are probably some of the most documented times in history. There are endless shelves full of books on the subject,” Hillmer said. “But the collective historical memory is at zero. All these countless anniversary events aren’t changing anything.”
“The main finding of our study is that young people today, from both the East and the West, are not really able to differentiate between democracy and dictatorship.”
Fukushima Goes Broadway
Sort of. Remember Fukushima? That Japanese Super-GAU (nuclear worst case scenario) that, well, never happened? You know, the one after that earthquake in Japan that managed to shut down 8 nuclear power plants in Germany (and could you imagine having to explain that to a visitor here from outer space?)?
Well, the German intellectually correct caste is bound and determined never to forget (one of their favorite pastimes) and that is why they are now making even more theater about the Fukushima Theater (Theater machen means kicking up a fuss here) by bringing out a worst case scenario theater piece addressing this epoch-making event. It’s called “Kein Licht” meaning No Light. And no, it is not a musical.
Needless to say, this is German highbrow theater vom Feinsten (at its best). And it starts with the title, I find. It’s so ambiguous or something. Although, on the other hand, what else could they call it other than No Light? The freakin’ power plant just got turned off (the loss of light connected with such an action being a logical consequence German nuclear energy opponants have not yet managed to properly address).
But screw the title, the main thing is that this production creates “an atmosphere of total anxiety.” I mean, why else whould a German theater-goer go and see it otherwise? You know, it’s a production with lots of darkness and water and slippery mud and rubber boots and all the other stuff that happens right after a nuclear catastrophe in Japan that never took place. And nudity too, I assume. All German highbrow theater pieces have naked people in them at one point. That’s just what they do here. Although you might think that with the play being called No Light nudity might not have the desired effect, which is supposed to be loud yawning, as far as I can tell.
And the message? Some Künstler say it is an attack upon the media and other fear industrialists (see the Greens & Co.) who are willing to exploit the suffering of others and create panic to increase their sales and thus make a lot of money and/or influence. You know, it’s a critique on those who misuse a serious issue like this to scare others for their own self-aggrandizement and profit. So make sure to buy your tickets early.
Es ist ein Schwall von Texten, die meist in keinem Zusammenhang stehen.
Micaela S.
Not A Speck Of Animal!
Not in this cola.
Unlike western or occidental cola types that apparently have all kinds of animal rests floating around in them (gelatine is used), new and improved (and oriental) Haji Cola is made in compliance with Islamic hygiene regulations and guaranteed halal, albeit admittedly “less tingling” than what you might be used to.
And the stuff is selling like halal hotcakes in Hamburg too, or might one day. But don’t worry, religion does not play a role here, folks (that’s why they call it halal?). Love does. The love of money. Geez, talk about your occidental attitude.
“Religion spielt keine Rolle.“
Forest Boy Actually Forrest Gump Boy
Berlin Police have now begun casting doubts about the truth of the story given by the so-called “Forest Boy” who claims to have lived in a forest somewhere for five years before showing up at Berlin City Hall one day to ask for help, just like that or something.
His recent refusal to co-operate in the investigation to help discover his true identity has made many here suspicious and has even led some officials to believe that he is in fact a “Forrest Gump Boy,” one of those simpleton-like boys who travel around the world in an attempt to meet historical figures, influence popular culture and experience firsthand some of the historic events of the early 21st century (not that anything of historic interest would ever happen here in Berlin, but still).
Dumm ist der, der Dummes tut.
Observing Hermann 