Another Year Closes

But Berlin’s “new” airport doors won’t. So that’s why the grand opening will have to be put off again for another year.

Doors

For now, I mean. Hey, when one door closes another one opens. And when when one door doesn’t close… Whatever.

Statt 80 Prozent Ende 2016 sind de facto nur 20 Prozent in Ordnung. Ein ordnungsgemäßes Funktionieren der Türen ist jedoch insbesondere für die fehlerfreie Entrauchung wichtig.

PS: You just wait, Hamburg. You’re going to have to.

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Next Delay For Berlin Airport Opening Postponed Until 2018

German newspapers are reporting that the latest delay announcement expected for the opening of Berlin’s troubled old new airport will now push the currently planned postponement back until the spring of 2018.

Airport

Disappointed Berliners had been hoping that the next delay announcement could have come as late as the spring of 2017 but this will now have to be moved forward as a new round of cost overruns and construction errors have caused yet another delay for that next planned delay.

Rumor has it that the Berlin Brandenburg Klaus Wowereit International Airport had originally been set to open in 2011 but no one can be located who can verify this with any certainty anymore.

The official announcement for the delay of the delay has been postponed until next year.

“Mir ist keine Entscheidung zwischen Weihnachten und Neujahr bekannt.”

German Of The Day: Das war knapp!

Meaning that was a close call.

Flughafen

For a moment there it almost appeared as if the city of Berlin might somehow actually manage to complete the construction of the Mother of All Politically Engineered Airport Absurdities by the end of 2017. But only for a moment. Whew. The more things don’t change, the more they stay the same.

Travelers are set to wait still longer for Berlin’s much-delayed new airport to open, as city media report that a provisional opening date in late 2017 is no longer achievable.

Niemand hat die Absicht, einen Flughafen zu errichten.*

*Nobody has the intention of building an airport. Get it? You know, like nobody had the intention of building a wall? The only difference is that they got that wall up in no time.

Berlin Air Show To Be Held At Creepy Unfinished Ghost Airport

In a move meant to liven up the world’s oldest and perhaps stodgiest air and space trade fair, organizers of Germany’s ILA have decided to hold this year’s show on the grounds of Berlin’s infamous haunted Berlin-Brandenburg Ghost Airport.

Local legend has it that the abandoned ghost airport, originally planned to actually be completed one day and used as a real airport with real airplanes and passangers and the whole bit, fell under the curse of a group of disgruntled Brandenburg witches protesting potential Fluglärm (fly-over noise) and can never be completed until Berlin’s city government presents its first balanced budget or hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

A spotless new runway, so far unused for commercial flights, will finally feel the burn of rubber.

German Teflon

Or Berlin Teflon, if you prefer. Whatever you want to call it, it’s way more teflony or teflonodelic than other kinds of Teflon out there.

Just ask Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit (SPD) after the opening of the city’s new airport has been postponed yet again (no joke) and now won’t be ready nearly two full years later than planned. It’s his baby, you see.

“Not to mince words, Klaus Wowereit can pack his bags as Berlin mayor. Anyone who recklessly gambles with the future of a whole region, wasting hundreds of millions of euros (…) and covers up instead of looking into mistakes is not qualified to be managing a metropolis. Wowereit is not the only one who has failed in relation to the BER project, but he is the main culprit. People are not going to forget that. No matter what he does, his time is up.”

But what do you think will happen, meine Damen und Herren? Not a damned thing. This is Germany. And worse still, some politicians are just never held accountable for what they do, no matter what what they do, or don’t. But not just here. I know of this one guy from another country, for instance (the president of the something or the other) who could get caught robbing a 7-Eleven at gunpoint and nobody would care. It just ain’t right, I tell ya. But it’s da way of da woild.

German commentators are outraged over the postponement, with one (the key word here is one) calling on Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit to resign.

Decision Delayed On Delayed Airport’s Latest Delay

Late for a delayed press conference, which was then delayed again, Berlin officials have now announced their decision to delay their decision to delay Berlin’s delayed Airport’s latest delay.

Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit, a Social Democrat who has made the Berlin-Brandenburg Airport his flagship project, wasted no time in delaying further comment for later, unless delayed.

“Wowereit is making the city look more and more ridiculous in international eyes.”