The bad part isn’t that Germany suddenly has no functioning government…

The bad part is that nobody can tell the difference.

German Stocks Lifted by Demise of Scholz’s Fractious Coalition – German stocks leapt on Thursday after the country’s unpopular coalition government started to unravel, sparking hopes that early elections next year will bring a much needed economic boost.

Chancellor Olaf Scholz, a Social Democrat, brought an end to his three-party alliance with the Greens and fiscally conservative Free Democrats late Wednesday when he sacked FDP Finance Minister Christian Lindner. Scholz called for the next scheduled election to be brought forward to March from September, but the opposition wants it sooner.

Breaking up is hard to do

But somebody has to do it.

Germany’s loveless coalition teeters on brink of break-up – Chancellor Olaf Scholz snubs partners, fuelling speculation of early elections in spring.

Chancellor Olaf Scholz held a much-vaunted “industrial summit” on Tuesday, sitting down with business leaders and union bosses to figure out how to pull Germany out its current malaise. Pointedly left off the guest list: his own finance and economy ministers.

Robert Habeck, the economy minister, responded by unveiling plans for a multibillion-euro, debt-financed investment fund — an idea not previously discussed with cabinet colleagues — while finance minister Christian Lindner simply scheduled his own, rival business summit on the same day…

Speculation is growing in Berlin that the alliance could soon collapse, pulled apart by its own internal contradictions. Several German media outlets have even named a possible date for snap elections — March 9, more than six months ahead of schedule.

German of the day: “mach den Biden”

That means to do the Biden. To a politician.

To toss him out, in other words.

Germany’s Scholz risks Biden’s fate – If the chancellor’s SPD party loses a crucial regional election to the far right on Sunday, it could lead to his ouster from the top spot.

As German Chancellor Olaf Scholz attends the U.N. General Assembly in New York on Sunday, his political future will likely be decided at home in a regional election 6,000 kilometers away.

One more defeat at the hands of the far right this weekend will almost certainly spell the end, and Scholz could very well share the fate of U.S. President Joe Biden — thrust aside by his panicking party to make way for a candidate who can avoid a massacre in a national election next year.

It’s kind of like the 80-20 rule

Only different.

Whereas with the 80-20 Rule (aka Pareto Principle) 80% of a company’s revenue is generated by 20% of its customers, when it comes to German elections, 80% of voters are very conservative regarding certain issues (“irregular” migration, for instance) but are ruled by 20% of those who aren’t.

German government reeling after state election defeats – The results of state elections in Saxony and Thuringia are disastrous for the parties that make up Germany’s coalition government. What will be the nationwide consequences from the regional votes?

Write this down and look back in a year from now…

And nothing, absolutely nothing will have changed.

The people who say it know it. The people who hear it know it. The people who commit these crimes know it.

Germany’s Scholz vows to step up deportations after killing of police officer – The stabbing of an officer by a suspect from Afghanistan has put the chancellor under pressure to take a tougher stance on migration ahead of the EU election.

The gruesome killing of a police officer by a 25-year-old Afghan suspect has put German Chancellor Olaf Scholz under renewed pressure to take a tougher stance on migration days ahead of a European election in which the far right is expected to make sizeable gains.

Those were the days…

When we could smirk our smirk with impunity.

But then the real world happened. Again.

Germany Should Have Listened to Trump – He was right about Berlin’s self-defense and risky energy dependence on Russia.

The lower house of Germany’s Parliament voted to legalize the recreational use of cannabis last week. It was a timely move. Germany’s leadership class is going to need all the mellow it can find in a world that isn’t going Germany’s way.

Predictably unpredictable

What do expect from a coalition government of three consisting of Green utopians, spendthrift social democratic regulation freaks and free-market capitalists (true liberals, in other words)?

This is how Germans vote. Remember: “Every country has the government it deserves.” Just look at the Banana Republic itself, if you don’t believe me.

EU partners lose trust in Berlin after policy U-turns – Lawmakers and diplomats in Brussels express frustration at Chancellor Olaf Scholz’s unpredictable coalition.

For years Germany was seen as a rock of stability and predictability in the EU. These days, its partners wonder what curveball Berlin will throw at them next. 

Last week the German government sent shockwaves through Brussels by withdrawing its support for a piece of legislation that it had long appeared to back: the EU’s new supply chain law.

New measures “reflect widespread nervousness”

They reflect the widespread nervousness caused by the somewhat older new measures created to increase this widespread nervousness, a widespread nervousness that was increased by other new measures before them that much, much older new measures created in the first place.

You know the routine. Ritual, actually. “Right-wing extremism” is on the rise in Germany. It’s always been on the rise, of course. It’s been on the rise for decades and decades yet it never seems to rise quite high enough to satisfy those worrying about its rising. These are, at the moment, those politicians in the established parties being threatened by the AfD, a party that actually claims to be interested in addressing the migrant madness German voters want them to address, something these established parties refuse to do. They’re plotting to ban the AfD, in other words, because they are incapable of addressing the problems the electorate wants them to address.

Germany bolsters gun curbs, financial policing to rein in far right – German Interior Minister Nancy Faeser on Tuesday unveiled measures ranging from stronger financial policing and earlier detection of so-called botnets to tightened firearms controls to tackle a far-right surge that has spooked the country.

The measures reflect widespread nervousness that the far-right Alternative for Germany party could end up the largest party in several state parliaments later this year, propelled by a gloomy economy and overburdened public services.

Other than that, though…

Germany’s economy is doing just fine.

Germany’s economy is on shaky ground and glimmers of hope are few and far between – Good news has been sparse for the German economy. And the latest economic data has not done much to change this.

A few key 2023 data points, namely factory orders, exports and industrial production, were out last week and indicated a weak end to the year that saw questions about Germany being the “sick man of Europe” resurface.

“On the rise”

Always on the rise. For as long as I or anyone else here can remember, on the rise.

Right-wing extremism. It’s always on the rise. Everywhere, but in Germany in particular. Geez. You’d think they would have finally risen to the top by now already. Good thing these warnings are not a classic political/journalistic device used to generate alarm for votes and higher ratings.

Germany’s Scholz says dark neo-Nazi networks are on the rise – Germany’s Chancellor Olaf Scholz on Saturday voiced concern over the rise of extreme-right tendencies in his country 79 years after the Auschwitz extermination camp was liberated.

It’s not an “on the rise” problem in Germany. It’s an “on the run” problem. The established political parties are slowly getting choked to death. Or, more accurately, slowly choking themselves to death.