Terrorists In Germany?

June 2, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Düsseldorf, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Refugees, Terror, Terrorists 2 Comments

Huh? Since when?

“A spokesman for the prosecutor declined to comment on whether the two suspects posed as refugees or sought asylum in Germany or elsewhere in Europe.”

Germany arrested three Syrian citizens on suspicion of planning an Islamic State terror attack in the city of Düsseldorf, the country’s top prosecutor said Thursday.

Two men, identified as Saleh A. and Hamza C., joined Islamic State in Syria in early 2014 and received orders from the organization’s leadership to carry out an attack in the bustling old town in Düsseldorf, the prosecutor’s office said in a statement on the arrests. The two plotted to attack one of Düsseldorf’s main streets with two suicide bombings, and then “to kill as many passersby as possible with guns and further explosives,” the prosecutor said. The two left for Turkey and then separately traveled to Germany via Greece in March and July 2015, the prosecutor said. Hundreds of thousands of refugees and migrants also entered Europe via Turkey and Greece last year.

Über Balkanroute eingereist

PS: And call me bekloppt (wacky), but I think I detect a pattern here, too.

German Authorities Not Sure Yet But Think Her Knife Attack May Not Have Been Your Everyday, Run-Of-The-Mill 15-Year-Old Girl Kind Of Knife Attack

May 31, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: Chats, German, Germans, Germany, Hanover, ISIS, Islam, Jihad, Safia S., Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

And it must be those glasses that are making them so suspicious, right? She tried to kill a police officer in Hanover in February.

Reporters from German public broadcasters WDR and NDR as well as the daily newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” were able to gain access to chat logs between Safia S. and a fellow Islamist in Hanover.

The chat logs showed that the 15-year-old met with IS members during a trip to Turkey in January. She intended on crossing into Syria, but wrote that there was a “change of plans.”

The IS members asked her to travel back to Germany to “surprise the unbelievers.”

“They told me it has a greater benefit,” Safia S. wrote, adding that it would be “really fun.” She also wrote about a “martyr operation.”

Die 15-Jährige Schülerin Safia S., die im Februar einem Polizisten am Hauptbahnhof in Hannover in den Hals stach, soll im Auftrag von ISIS gehandelt haben!

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

April 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Boehmermann, Crime, Erdogan, Free speech, Germany, ISIS, Merkel, Safia S., Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Turkey 2 Comments

German prosecutors have said a 15-year-old girl who stabbed a police officer was conducting a “martyrdom operation” for the militant “Islamic State” (IS) group. The teen had previously met with IS members in Turkey.

I’m sure she’ll be punished harshly for her actions. By German standards, I mean.

Meanwhile, when it comes to more serious crimes like free speech… I mean serious things like thought crimes…

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced Friday that her government will grant a Turkish request for the prosecution of Jan Boehmermann after he recited a crude poem about Turkey’s president, despite “diverging opinions” within the German ruling coalition.

“We are Germans, renowned for our world-famous sense of humor.”

Bomb Actually Sex Toy

April 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: Bombs, Gambling, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Police, Sex Toys, Terror 3 Comments

So like, it doesn’t even qualify as a sex bomb?

German police called to the scene of a suspected bomb could breathe a sigh of relief when the feared explosive device turned out to be a sex toy…

Three explosives experts of the Office of Criminal Investigation in the state of Saxony-Anhalt were called in to defuse the ‘bomb’

However, when the bomb squad examined the bin, they found that the explosive device was in fact a battery-powered vibrating penis ring.

Two men in the squad, Dick und Doof, answered the ring, saying “Hallo? Hallo?” but were unfortunately unable to determine just who had placed the call.

Aus Sorge vor einem Sprengsatz evakuierte die Polizei die Spielothek sowie umliegende Geschäfte, brachte etwa 90 Menschen in Sicherheit und sperrte eine Straße.

Data Protection, Data Protection, Data Protection…

March 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: Berlin, Brussels, Data Privacy, Data Protection, German, Germans, Germany, Paris, Terror, Terrorism, Terrorists, Thomas de Maizière 5 Comments

This mantra is suddenly not quite as effective as it used to be in Germany.

“We have to expect a long period of terror. London, Madrid, Paris, now Brussels. Even German cities will not be spared in the long run. So far, we have been lucky”, stated Rainer Wendt, chief of the German Police Union at newspaper Passauer Neue Presse.

On this frame, German politicians ask for an increased exchange of information between European authorities, in a country that is really sensitive over privacy issues and has some of the strictest rules on privacy and data protection in the world, partly as a heritage from Germany’s surveillance history through the East German and Nazi dictatorships.

“The best remedy against such attacks is information exchange,” stressed Germany’s Interior Minister Thomas de Maizière.

And remember all the NSA, “friends don’t spy on friends” hysteria? U.S., Germany eye ways to deepen cyber collaboration

De Maizière will an die “Datentöpfe.” “Datenschutz ist schön, aber in Krisenzeiten hat Sicherheit Vorrang.”

Spontaneous German Response To Brussels Attacks Hits ISIS Terrorists Where It Hurts Them Most

March 23, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Brussels, Drinking, German, Germans, Germany, Hashtags, ISIS, Love, Social Media, Terror, Terrorists, Toasts 2 Comments

In their hurts-to-laugh muscle or the so-called “intercostals” located right here, between the ribs, that’s where.

Pictures of smiling people raising a glass to the camera bloomed across social media in Germany on Tuesday, in a spontaneous response to the Brussels attacks…

The “here’s to love” hashtag was launched by a social media editor at Spiegel Online, who posted a picture of herself on Facebook holding a glass with the caption “Here’s to love, listening to one another, respecting oneself and others, being honest, shouting, screaming, talking about everything and drinking, to kissing and confetti, to life and freedom.”

Netz-Reaktionen auf Brüssel: „Gestern und heute wollte es #AufDieLiebe trinken.“

Don’t forget, jihadis: Because the rib cage contracts rapidly during laughing (as with coughing and sneezing), sharp pain can result if there are trigger points in your intercostals. Luckily, relieving these trigger points is often straight forward and fairly simple. Read here to find out more!

The Black Is Back

March 22, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Hurt Feelings Tags: Brussels, ISIS, Islamic Terror, Paris, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

But What About Datenschutz?

March 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Data Privacy, Data Protection, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Language, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

That means data privacy and is way big medicine here in Germany indeed. Just go ask Google, Facebook, the Boy Scouts, whoever.

So like how on earth could German counter-terrorism police be “investigating documents (illegally acquired) said to reveal the identities of a large number of fighters of so-called Islamic State?” Without their expressed written permission, I mean. Do Julian Assange and Edward Snowden know about this?

Don’t these terrorists have the right to keep the German state from snooping into their, uh, Islamic state? Somebody call the nation’s Datenschutzbeauftragter (data protection officer) immediately. This is an outrage or something.

22 000 Namen von Islamisten enthüllt | ISIS-Geheimdienstchef verlor USB-Stick mit Terrordaten

Good Enough For Government Work

February 21, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bundestag, Christian Klar, Communism, German, Germans, Germany, Left Party, RAF, Socialism, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

A convicted murderer and RAF terrorist working for a representative of The Left party in the Bundestag?

So what? Ain’t no big deal. Christian Klar is apparently more into web design these days so it’s time to let bygones be bygones. You know, like The Left party and its agitating world socialist friends over at the International Committee of the Fourth International have done?

His new boss, Dr. Diether Dehm, did, however, run into a bit of a snag trying to get Klar a security pass to enter the Bundestag as his personal guest – some revisionist imperialist a-hole over at the pass office turned down his request due to something he called Sicherheitsbedenken (security conserns), but you know the deal, folks. Left it up to your imagination. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

“Der Feind der Demokratie hat nichts im Herzstück der Demokratie zu suchen.”

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

February 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anxiety, Crime, Fear, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Gun control, Guns, Insecurity, Political Parties, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Weapons 2 Comments

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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