Author Archives: Hermann Observer
Germans To Mount Another Massive Offensive Against London
And they aren’t even making a secret about it this time, either.
The immense assault, utilizing some 150,000 or more crack uniformed German fanatics, will be staged sometime in the late evening hours of May 25 at Wembley Stadium during the Champions League soccer final between two big European soccer teams, I forget which ones. And I meant football, of course, not soccer (I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy…).
It will be the first all-German final in the history of the European Cup and a record-breaking seventh time that Wembley has hosted the match.
PS: Go Dortmund!
Sure Is Cold In Here
The issues at stake are not trivial ones. At the core of the Franco-German conflict is no less a matter than the question of how Europe can shake off the current crisis. Merkel is convinced this can only be achieved by implementing reforms — austerity, liberalization of the labor market and restructuring of social welfare systems.
But Hollande is unwilling to let Germany impose its model on France. He fears the European recession will only worsen if Berlin succeeds in implementing its austerity plans.
Even in the euro crisis, Germany is reluctant to be seen as sole leader. It badly needs a French economic revival to have a plausible partner at the top again.
“This is why, ultimately, it does not matter whether they like each other—that has not been the case for years.”
Germans Bemoan Loaned Drones And Condone Owned Drones Instead
Drones aren’t so evil after all, it seems. As long as Germans are flying them, I mean.
A German Defense Ministry representative says that the US is ready to approve an official German request for three armed MQ-9 Reaper drone aircraft (formerly known as the “Predator B”) and four ground control stations, to be filed in May this year.
A Forsa survey released earlier in April suggested that only 12 percent of Germans supported the use of armed drones in all circumstances. A majority of 59 percent approved the idea, however, provided that the aircraft were only used to ward off clear and present danger.
Nur wenige Bundesbürger sind gegen den Einsatz. In einer Forsa-Umfrage für die Zeitschrift „Internationale Politik” sprachen sich 12 Prozent der Befragten für eine generelle Erlaubnis aus, 59 Prozent plädierten für einen Drohnen-Einsatz unter bestimmten Bedingungen, etwa zur Abwendung einer unmittelbaren Gefahr. Nur 27 Prozent der Bundesbürger wollen bewaffnete Drohnen generell verbieten.
Spring Is In The Air Right Now
Here in Berlin. Just like the teargas will be tomorrow.
And if we’re really lucky, we’ll have a good old-fashioned senselessly violent “Antikapitalistischen Walpurgisnacht” (anti-capitalist Walpurgis Night) tonight, too!
So y’all have a wonderful German May Day celebration, ya-here (not established as a public holiday until 1933)?
In der Vergangenheit war es in Berlin in der Walpurgisnacht und am 1. Mai häufig zu gewalttätigen Ausschreitungen am Rand von Demonstrationen der linken Szene gekommen. In diesem Jahr wollen sowohl linke Gruppen als auch die NPD in Berlin demonstrieren.
Vote For Us And We’ll Raise Your Taxes (As In Their Taxes)
Ever feel like you fell down the rabbit hole? Spend some time in Germany and then you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Only in Germany can a political party go for (and actually get) votes by promising to raise taxes.
Delegates at a Greens party convention in Berlin yesterday voted through plans to raise the top rate of income tax to 49 percent for those earning 80,000 euros ($104,000) a year or more, and to 45 percent from 42 percent above 60,000 euros. They also backed a “wealth levy” on the richest to pay down 100 billion euros of Germany’s state debt over 10 years.
And a whole lot of German voters actually get excited about this kind of nonsense. It’s often a zero-sum mentality game over here, you see. You know, the way of thinking that hinges on the notion that there must be one winner and one loser and for every gain there is a loss? Take from the rich and give to the poor, in other words. Or Umverteilung (redistribution), if you prefer.
Of course what the Green Shirts are actually doing is selling “equality” where there is a huge demand and buying Neid (envy) where there is an even bigger supply.
“Nirgendwo in der OECD ist die Ungleichheit so schnell gestiegen wie in Deutschland.”
The Richard Wagner Bicentennial Jubilee Fun Time Celebration Bash Is Well Underway
But the Partystimmung (party atmosphere) can be a little problematic at times.
How do you celebrate the bicentenary of a great composer who also happened to be an anti-Semite, who posthumously inspired Hitler, and whose works featured prominently in the cultural life of the Third Reich?
That’s easy, really. You do what you’ve got to do with Wagner (if you’re a Wagner fan or a German unable to ignore him). As Friedrich Nietzsche said 125 years ago: “The Germans have cooked up a Wagner whom they can honor. And they are thankful for being able to misunderstand him.”
And as Woody Allen said quite some time later: “I just can’t listen to any more Wagner, you know…I’m starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.”
“Die Deutschen haben sich einen Wagner zurechtgemacht, den sie verehren können: … sie sind damit dankbar, dass sie missverstehn.”
Eva P.
Five-Year-Old-Sex-Education, German Style
Or Berlin style, I should say.
German school children as young as five were given a sex-education book giving graphic advice on how to put on a condom and how to achieve orgasms.
According to Spiegel Online, the school in the Kreuzberg area of Berlin did not initially respond to parents’ complaints.
It was only when the local press got wind of the controversy and complaints were made to the city’s governing body, the Berlin Senate, that anything was done.
Damn. Berlin city government just can’t stop rocking these days.
“When it’s so good that it can’t get any better, Lisa and Lars have an orgasm.”
This Was Not Planned So It Cannot Be Happening
Or will not be happening, I should say.
As you know, Germany is green. And Germans are greener than green. Why, Germans are so green that Jamaicans want to roll them up and smoke them.
And Germans also like sticking to “the plan,” too (think Stalingrad). So they do not, I repeat do not appreciate it when, as in this case, their ambitious environmental plans get disturbed by unforseen technological developments that were not considered in the original plan and therefore start turning the whole Schlamassel (mess) into a really, really big and annoying, well, Schlamassel (think Stalingrad again).
It goes like this: “Ambitious environmental goals are far less meaningful if the economy withers in achieving them.” So when something really tempting comes along like shale gas drilling (hydraulic fracturing or “fracking”), a technology that could give Germany access to enough reserves to feed natural gas demand for 20 years, then that gets not-so-thoroughly-green people (yes, there still are a few specimens left) to thinking, plan or not.
So there we have it. And that’s the end of it (ask any German Green Shirt). Fracking can’t happen here. It is ideologically inadmissable. Fracking is something that those crazy Americans and their evil multi-national oil companies do, not us (multi-national oil companies are always American, by the way – don’t ask). Nope, fracking can never happen here. Never in a million years. Not this year anyway.
“We are sitting on Swiss cheese. The risks are just too high.”
Observing Hermann 