Author Archives: Hermann Observer

This Just In: The Taliban Is Violent And Yucky

November 4, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Hate, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Infidel is in, again. Or at least it is for the 27-year-old German who had travelled to Waziristan with his wife intending to free the area from the “infidel occupiers” after they had converted to Islam.

He has now returned to Germany because, well, he was “disheartened by the violence and annoyed with the group’s macho and drug-taking world.”

The former fighter also complained of the unhygienic conditions in the war-torn lands of Pakistan’s Waziristan province and Afghanistan that left him infected with hepatitis, and which were, in his opinion, “incompatible with the teachings of the Koran”.

Holy crap. The Taliban is violent? Wow, like nobody had told me about that either, dude. We feel your pain (in the ass). So welcome back to the real, as in infidel world.

Take Your Pick

November 2, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You can have the German headline Zahl der Jobs seit Obamas Amtsantritt gestiegen (the number of jobs has increased during Obama’s term of office)…

Or you can have the German headline Arbeitslosenquote steigt vor US-Wahl leicht (the jobless rate climbs slightly before the US election – with the emphasis on slightly here, people).

The main thing is that they both remain misleading. I guess this psychological prepping now will be needed later to explain how dumb and ungrateful Americans are (if Obama loses) or how truly deserving his magnificent victory really was (if he wins).

Man of man. You can almost cut the nervous German nervousness here with a knife right now.

Arbeitslosenzahlen lassen Obama aufatmen.

Who Needs Sandy?

October 31, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Thanks to this dad gern new-fangled Energiewende (energy turnaround), the power goes out in Germany “mit ohne” (without) a damned hurricane these days.

Es ist 16:32 Uhr, für die meisten ist der Feierabend nicht mehr weit. Da zuckt in den Büros kurz das Licht. Im Stadtteil Griesheim gehen die Lampen sogar ganz aus. Zeitumstellung. Es ist dunkel. Rund um die Innenstadt bricht mitten in der Rush Hour der Verkehr zusammen. Die Ampeln tun – zumindest nördlich des Mains – ihren Dienst nicht mehr. S- und Straßenbahnen bleiben auf offener Strecke stehen. In den U-Bahnen geht die Notbeleuchtung an.

“Demonstratively Setting Politics Aside”

October 30, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , 3 Comments

More objective German journalism in action here again, people.

When a reporter then asked him, “What about the impact on the election, sir?”, the president answered soberly, unselfishly and energetically. “The election will take care of itself next week,” he said.

…Romney said he wanted to get rid of FEMA, the organization proving to be so important at the moment, calling disaster relief spending “immoral” when the focus should be on deficit reduction. “Every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that’s the right direction. And if you can go even further, and send it back to the private sector, that’s even better,” he said.

Hurricanes Help

October 29, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Or at least that’s what Germans are openly hoping for right now.

The economic figures don’t really look very good, and although he (Obama) is more popular with the people (more popular than Gerhard Schröder was with German voters ten years ago before he was thought to have been “saved” politically by his perceived handling of the Elbe flooding catastrophe), he is behind in the polls. But maybe now a natural catastrophe could help him, too: Hurricane Sandy.

“Kein Präsident oder Kandidat darf auf eine drohende Naturkatastrophe mehr unterreagieren.”

Expats Pouting?

October 28, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

He may be the World President, but is he still ours?

“There’s a high interest (in voting) among expats in Germany, but I sense those on the Democrat side aren’t as fervent today as they were in 2008. There’s intense disappointment in President Obama’s leadership.”

Meanwhile… An opinion poll by the Emnid polling institute found 87 percent of German nationals would vote for Obama and only 5 percent for Romney if they had the chance to cast ballots.

Enthusiasm for Obama wanes among U.S. voters in Europe

Now It’s Getting Surreal

October 26, 2012 By in Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You know, as in having that disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream and being all like, well, unreal or fantastic?

I just stumbled across a German commentary in German published by a German in Germany entitled: Vielleicht ist Mitt Romney die bessere Wahl für die USA (Maybe Mitt Romney is the better choice for the USA).

Toto, you bullshitter, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

Der republikanische Präsidentschaftsbewerber hat als Gouverneur bewiesen, dass er pragmatisch regieren kann. Obama blieb unter den Erwartungen.