Category Archives: Habitudes

More Godwin’s Law In Action

December 21, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hate, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

And it’s particularly popular with Germans, for some strange reason: “In other words, Godwin observed that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably makes a comparison to Hitler or the Nazis.”

Hitler or what?

OK, technically this wasn’t online, but the latest unnecessary comparison to Hitler came from a certain Andreas Köhler, head of a German doctor lobby group here (die Kassenärztliche Bundesvereinigung).

“Julius Caesar, Charlemagne, Napoleon, Adolf Hitler, Angela Merkel – the list of leaders is very long when it comes to those who have tried to unite Europe. And these attempts have always failed because no one can imagine living together in one and the same European house.”

Uh, is the doctor in?

Ein KBV-Sprecher sagte der dpa, aus der rein internen Feier seien Sätze ohne weiteren Zusammenhang nach außen gelangt.

Peinlich, Peinlicher, Am Peinlichsten

December 19, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Peinlich. You know, as in embarrassing or cringe-making? Berlin’s Tip Magazin has just announced this year’s winners for the city’s “Flop 100” Most Embarrassing Berliners and did a really thorough analysis, I find. The only difficult part was narrowing the short list down to 100 losers, it seems.

Wowereit in Aktion.

And no, it wasn’t really much of a contest when it came to selecting number one. The Überflieger (high-flyer – as in airport, get it?) himself, Mayor Klaus Wowereit, was never really in any serious danger of not coming out on bottom, although Pirate clown Johannes Ponader gave him a pretty good run for the money. And no, they won’t be receiving any, or any more than they have already.

Einen Ehrenplatz auf der Nummer 100 bekam Altplayboy Rolf Eden – der wäre vermutlich enttäuscht, wenn sein Name nicht in der Liste auftauchen würde.

I Got Your Demographics For You Right Here

December 18, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No babies. And no immigrants, either.

Each year, the German government spends billions of euros in an effort to stop the country’s ticking demographic time bomb. By 2050, it is estimated that only 70 million people will be living in the country, down from today’s roughly 82 million. Without a major change in the birthrate or a mass influx of up to 24 million new immigrants, the population could soon begin shrinking, according to United Nations forecasts…

Birthrate this.

“…Germany underestimated the importance of a culture of welcome and overestimated the attractiveness as a country of immigration,” said Ulrich Kober of the Bertelsmann Foundation which commissioned the study released on Monday.

The country could pay a heavy price for its anti-immigration views as its older workforce dies out, concludes the Foundation. “Highly qualified people from non-EU countries actively avoid moving to Germany,” added Herr Kober.

Ronald McDonald Sees All

December 13, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You can run, suspected terrorist types, but you can’t hide from the Golden Arches.

Ronald sees all.

After discovering and destroying a “highly dangerous” explosive device at Bonn’s central train station, German police are now patting themselves on the back for having already made their first arrest in the case, all thanks to the dreaded (in Germany) security camera footage in use there.

No, not the footage from the security cameras aimed at the platform where the device was found – there was no coverage there – this footage came from the security cameras used at the central station’s US-Amerikan McDonald’s restaurant.

You know, die totale Überwachung (the total surveillance) state and all that? Germans don’t like that kind of stuff for some reason (that terrorist suspect dude doesn’t like it much either, I bet). It has to do with data privacy or Google Street View or something. I forget.

Would you like fries with that?

Zwar appellieren Datenschützer, bei der Überwachung öffentlichen Raumes die Verhältnismäßigkeit zu wahren. Doch etwa in Ballungszentren Großbritanniens hat man sich an flächendeckende Kamerapräsenz längst gewöhnt – und davon kann die Polizei häufig profitieren.

Secret Weapons Deals?

December 12, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Since when has any of this been a secret?

Made in Germany.

That Germany is the world’s third largest weapons exporter, I mean (preferably to the Middle East these days, by the way). So what’s the problem here? Germany is simultaneously the world’s number one pacifist nation too, you know.

But to make matters even, uh, better, some here are unabashedly calling this enlightened policy “the Merkel Doctrine” now: It’s better to maintain peace by selling weapons, rather than have to fight for it. They have to be German weapons, of course. But still. You know, help those who help themselves while you’re helping yourself at the same time?

Wait a minute. Hasn’t that always been the doctrine here?

Waffen verkaufen, statt selber zu kämpfen.

Pleasant Christmas Smells Make Germans Sick

December 11, 2012 By in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

And here you always figured that your lousy Chirstmas spirit had to do with the dreaded Verwandtenbesuch (visiting relatives). Well, it does. But recent research indicates that Christmas smells in abundance (and they always are this time of year) can also make Germans irritable and depressed.

Smell

That’s right. Aromatic candles, incense, advent wreaths with cinnamon and cloves, vanilla, anise, coriander, you name it. All these wonderfully smelly yule tide substances now pose a health threat to us (I mean you) and should be enjoyed in moderation only. I mean not be enjoyed in moderation only, of course.

Bah! Humbug already!

“Zuerst empfindet man den Duft noch als angenehm, aber bald schon kippt die Stimmung, man fühlt sich unwohl, leer oder gereizt.”

Climate Activists Unable To Curtail Their Toxic Emissions After Latest Failed Climate Talks

December 9, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Mad as hell about the latest failed United Nations climate talks held at Doha (that’s number 18 now, I believe), climate activists and environmentalists everywhere have begun emitting huge amounts of angry hot air in a desperate attempt to vent their frantic frustration at this latest “betrayal” to, uh, reality.

Doha

Cursing, wailing, spitting and hissing sounds have been registered all over our globally warmed up globe, punctuated by regular reports of urgent pouting and stomping noises.

One group of activists is open to reason, however, having pledged instead to collectively hold their breaths until turning blue in the face together.

“It has long been evident that the United Nations talks were at best a partial solution to the planetary climate change problem, and at worst an expensive sideshow.”

PS: Thanks for the way cool CO2 gas mask link, A.K.

Do They Still Hold These Things?

December 5, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helplessness Tags: , , Leave a comment

Other than being “disappointed with Obama” at the latest climate talks in, uh, hell if I know where, German journalist/climate scientist types have determined that there’s been “no progress after 18 rounds.”

Climate activists are deeply frustrated. This is the 18th Doha summit, and no progress has been made on a single decisive question. Since EU member states have shown themselves to be at odds since the very beginning of the conference, they are not playing a major leadership role.