Germans Still Pretending That This Didn’t Happen

Honestly, how long have we been hearing that it isn’t a question of “if” a pandemic is coming, it is only a question of “when?”

Masks

Well, then here’s yet another example of government planning in action because Germany was caught with its Lederhose down big time when the coronavirus pandemic hit.

Take face masks. When not shipping off the few that they did have to China before realizing they needed them for themselves, or falsely accusing the United States of stealing face masks destined for them once the panic set in, Angela Merkel’s government spends a considerable amount of energy letting its state media outlets explain to the worried citizenry that face masks really aren’t that important anyway – while frantically trying to organize and produce them in the background.

So we all know what’s coming next. It’s right around the corner, folks. The German government will soon announce – once enough face masks are finally available – that although face masks are not absolutely, positively necessary to protect you during the pandemic you will nevertheless now be required to wear them any and every time you leave your apartment. But don’t thank us for being overly cautious like this, they will say, we only want to take every precaution necessary to keep you safe. They will soon want a pat on the back for not having done their job in the first place, in other words. A failure and a scam from start to finish. We’re here from the government and we’re here to help.

It’s now clear that the German government was ill-prepared for this pandemic, even though a 2012 risk analysis by the federal government sketched out a crisis scenario that is eerily similar to the current situation.

German Of The Day: Wildwest-Methoden

That means “Wild West methods.”

SPD

What it really means is US-Amerika sucks. As usual. Yawn. That the German on the street is anti-American while vehemently denying being anti-American is certainly nothing new but whenever German politicians openly spread fake news allegations about evil Amerikan intentions just to play to the crowd – and everybody bends over backwards not to notice afterward – that still surprises me.

In this case it was Berlin’s red-redder-green city government with Interior Senator Andreas Geisel (SPD) in the lead role.

When face masks for the Berlin police that were supposedly ordered in China and shipped over Thailand never arrived here Geisel ranted in a press statement that the Americans had confiscated them and redirected the shipment to the USA using their “wild west methods” in an act of “modern day piracy” and that the German federal government needed to take action here immediately. None of this ever happened, of course. Just as there will be no consequences for this guy now. Other than he’ll maybe get a raise. It’s a natural instinct, folks. It’s just what Germans and German politicians do.

Als angeblich in China bestellte, über Bangkok nach Berlin verfrachtete Schutzmasken für die Berliner Polizei nicht ankamen, wetterte Geisel in einer Presseerklärung: Die USA hätten die Ware für sich konfiszieren, umleiten lassen – „Wildwest-Methoden“ und „Akt moderner Piraterie“, wütete der Innensenator. Die Bundesregierung müsse eingreifen!

Just Like In The Good Old USA

Opinion: Germans rally behind Merkel amid coronavirus crisis.

Corona

A recent poll shows that Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives have seen a spike in popularity as Germany battles the coronavirus pandemic. This illustrates that our democracy is stable, says DW’s Jens Thurau.

It’s the same in the US, right? Everyone in America rallies behind the President of the United States amid the coronvirus crisis there, don’t they?  It’s just what one does. Citizens forget party politics, petty personal hysterics and even the Trump Derangement Syndrome ITSELF at times of great need like these to support their government and solve a real problem. That’s just what Americans do. And that’s what’s happening in America right now, right? Right.

By the way, the same Germans who supposedly rally behind Frau Merkel still jump at every opportunity they can get – today – to continue bashing Donald Trump with as much vehemence as they can muster. So much for today’s Sunday School sermon, Deutsche Welle.

German Of The Day: Denunziant

The means informer. Or snitch.

Snitch

Snitching. It’s just what Germans do.

Law-abiding Germans are zealously helping police crack down on people flouting new social distancing rules aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus by reporting on strangers, neighbours and friends.

In a country where denunciation was commonplace under the Communists in East Germany and Hitler’s Nazis, police forces across the country are getting tip-offs on anything from “corona parties” to people driving to weekend cottages.

Das böse D-Wort – Der Begriff “Denunziant” erlebt in Zeiten von Covid-19 eine Wiedergeburt. Ist Deutschland durchsetzt von meldewütigen Hobbypolizisten?

German Of The Day: Fehlbesetzung

That means the wrong choice, as in choosing the wrong person. Well, at least the voters didn’t choose her.

Ursula

Hey, Ursula von der Leyen ruined the German Bundeswehr. She has a proven track record. That’s how she got her raise to ruin what’s left of Europe in the first place. She never had to run for election, folks. Backroom politics at its best. Why should she? She was one of Angie Merkel’s girls. Is anybody really surprised by any of this?

In the midst of the deepest crisis Europe is desperately seeking leadership. The new Commission President is proving to be weak in every respect.

Inmitten tiefster Krisen sucht Europa händeringend nach Führung. Die neue Kommissionspräsidentin erweist sich in jeder Hinsicht als schwach.

Finally, Some Good News

US nukes in Germany are getting modernized!

Bomb

US set to upgrade controversial nukes stationed in Germany – The US has stored nuclear bombs across Europe as a deterrent against Russia — including in Germany, where parliament voted in 2010 to withdraw the bombs. But for now, they are here to stay — and set to be modernized.

Americans activate the nukes, Germans deliver them. What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks, Party Folk

Or Volk, if you prefer. Thanks to you a total Corona lockdown is virtually assured now.

Corona

Confusion, defiance and parties in the park: A postcard from Berlin under coronavirus lockdown – Police had to break up several so-called “Corona Parties” on Monday evening, where hundreds of students had bought cases of Corona beer and gathered in parks.

In Berlin zum Beispiel sind die Clubs zwar geschlossen, trotzdem treffen sich viele Jugendliche einfach in Parks zum gemeinsamen Trinken.

But Don’t Panic

When it comes to the coronavirus, Angela Merkel tells her fellow Germans.

Merkel

The population has no immunity, she points out. There is no therapy. 60 to 70% of you will be infected with it. BUT DON’T PANIC!!!

So, there. I said it. Now it’s back to the bunker for me. You promised.

The German daily Bild recently slammed her for what it called “the corona chaos,” claiming “No appearances, no speech, no leadership in the crisis.”

Czech Prime Minister Andrej Babis, Reuters reported, was later asked about Merkel’s comments. “I don’t want to comment on the situation in Germany, although I believe that such statements rather cause panic,” he said. “In any case, we have adopted strong measures for such worst-case scenarios to be out of the question.”

German Of The Day: Humbug

That means humbug. Only it’s pronounced hoomboog. This is German, after all.

Humbug

Germans don’t know who she is yet. Geez. Are they always the last to know?

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. That means Naomi Seibt from Münster says the climate change is humbug.

The rest of the article, as you can imagine, explains how this “controversial international star” (from Germany) is a bad thing. Person, I mean. Pronounced purrsown.

Naomi Seibt aus Münster erklärt den Klimawandel zum Humbug. Damit ist sie international zum umstrittenen Star geworden – auch wegen ihrer Affinität zur politischen Rechten. Wer ist diese 19 Jahre alte Frau?

German Of The Day: Hamsterschlacht

You already know about Hamsterkauf (panic buying). Now the Germans have upped the ante and are doing “the battle of the hamsters.”

Hamsterschlacht

Aldi customers are getting up early in the morning to get in line so they can fight each other  to purchase disinfectant. Only three products per customer may be purchased, however (doesn’t sound like much of a hamster battle to me). Everybody’s doing it these days. It’s that coronavirus kinda feeling!

Sie stehen dicht an dicht. Dutzende Kunden warten morgens an einer Aldi-Filiale auf die Eröffnung des Ladens. Der Grund: Desinfektionsmittel!