No Contradiction Here

Not for the Spiegel, anyway. At the moment they are somewhere between…

Big Brother

Obama’s Soft Totalitarianism – Europe Must Protect Itself from America

and

The German Prism: Berlin Wants to Spy Too.

For those who don’t know any better, I could see how you could imagine calling this a form of German schizophrenia. For those who do know better, that’s most definitely what you’d call it.

A monitored human being is not a free human being. And every state that systematically contravenes human rights, even in the alleged service of security, is acting criminally.

Black Workers Are Everywhere These Days

No, not Afro-American workers. You know, Schwarzarbeiter (illegal workers).

Black

And they’re everywhere all over Europe these days, although Germany is the champion here again too, as usual.

Eight million Germans are working on the black market as we speak, so-to-speak, generating about 13 percent of the country’s economic output. And loving it, I hope for them, because many of them just don’t seem to have any choice in the matter. Nobody will hire them otherwise:

Punitive tax regimes, increased labor market regulation and a growing lack of trust in governments are causing many Europeans to abandon formal employment and enter into the murky, illicit world of shadow economies worth billions of dollars.

Unternehmen und Arbeitnehmer setzen auf Schwarzarbeit, dadurch entstehen zwei Drittel des Schadens. Für das weitere Drittel ist verantwortlich, dass viele zu geringe Einkommen und Erträge ausweisen.

The Spiegel Says: US-Amerika One Big Debtor’s Prison

More and more Americans are being punished for their poverty: Above all in rural areas judges have been putting delinquent debtors in prison as of late. This medieval practice is illegal, unconstitutional – and widespread.

“Diese Unsitte verbindet man mehr mit der Zeit von Charles Dickens als mit dem modernen Amerika.”

PS: Speaking of deplorable customs and disturbing developments – and good fiction – when are these deplorable refutations of sacrosanct scientific certainties ever going to stop?! I mean, what ever happened to the ozone hole? It’s not there anymore or something.

Ozone

Well it’s One drink of wine, two drinks of gin… and I’m lost in the ozone again.

Obama’s Popularity Rating Plummets To 82 Percent In Germany

Prism

Germans are still enamored of Obama: a poll last week showed 82 percent view him favorably.

It used to be 92 percent so this must have something to do with the time he recently spent in Prism.

Just kidding. The real reason is because there are “gute Amis, böse Amis” (good Yankees and bad Yankees) and the Pres clearly belongs to the good ones, NO MATTER WHAT. I mean, this guy could rape a turtle live on “Wetten, dass..?” and nobody would find anything wrong with it (except the turtle). He’ll be back up to 92 percent here again in no time, in other words.

The bad Yankees are the awful scumbag Republican NSA types who actually did the snooping, by the way.

Damn. Speaking of snooping… He and his crew sure are cool, you’ve got to hand it to them. Even when he’s having them monitor you for your own good (and that whether you’re a tea partier or not). I think I’m going to call them the Cyber Snoop Dogg Pack from here on out. Rat Pack had already been taken.

Germans accuse U.S. of Stasi tactics before Obama visit

Germans Pissed Off At Natural Catastrophe

Who’s in charge of this flood, anyway? Many wet Germans have begun asking themselves and others this question as the worst flooding the country has seen in over a decade moves northward through the country but not nearly fast enough if you ask them.

Flooding

Normally in rapture with everything and anything that has to do with nature and the natural environment, this flood is the second Jahrhundertflut (flood of the century) within the past 12 years and patience for this excessive outpouring of nature’s splendor is rapidly wearing thin.

Germans simply cannot stand things that are not planned well, you see, and this cataclysmic inundation was clearly an organizational nightmare right from the start. The flood waters refused to stay in designated tributaries and caused chaos and hurt feelings pretty much right from day one as the rainfall that caused the flooding came all at once. Causing the flooding. Like I said.

The responsible party for this natural catastrophe has yet to be located (except for the usual suspect global warming, yawn, but that doesn’t really count because global warming is responsible for everything), but when he or she is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Piss off!”

Tugendterror

Or “virtue/politically correct terror,” if you prefer. Even some Germans now (in this case Thea Dorn for Die Zeit – “Deutsche Sitten” – no link yet) have come to realize that those who might still prefer to have the right to choose for themselves are losing Lebensraum (their habitat) fast.

Tutelage

A German Opera house decides to cancel a production from their repertoire because several spectators needed medical attention (they were traumatized) after the premiere. A leading SPD politician openly discusses the possibility of limiting the speed limit to 120 kmh on German autobahns. The Greens specify in their party program to do away with the reduced value added tax rate currently granted for fast-food and to forbid the use of wild animals in circuses.

The German (or European) citizen who still expects to be able to decide for him- or herself on matters of this nature  (whether to attend the opera performance or not, drive the speed he/she wishes on certain stretches of the autobahn, eat fast-food, etc.)  is frowned upon ever more these days because, well, there are others out/up there more enlightened than him/her to make these decisions for them. This is the essence of socialist and/or Green thinking. This makes everything safe. And predictable. And correct sowieso (at the very least).

Autonomy means being able to assess what I can expect of myself and of my environment to put up with. Living means not letting myself be knocked down by injuries or setbacks. But how can I learn either of these things if our society becomes an omnipresent governess keenly taking care that her wards never get carried away?

How indeed. They don’t want you to get carried away. Or get away at all, for that matter, ever. That’s the point. Just curb your enthusiasm already and keep on voting for more tutelage.

Man kann sein Leben zu Tode verschwenden, andere zu Tode schinden. Wir sind dabei, uns zu Tode zu schonen.

Ray Must Pay

Welfare fraud? In Germany? No way.

Ray

Way, Ray. Not even forest boys get a free lunch around here in poor but sexy but poor Berlin these days.

The city is sticking Ray with a 30,000 euro bill for all they did for him while he was doing all he could to them for about nine months back in 2011/2012. And they won’t remove that blindfold thingy there until he pays, either.

“Wir haben ihm Essen, Trinken und Kleidung gegeben und sogar einen Sprachkurs finanziert.”

Emasculation 101

If you have your doubts and worries about where your language is going in matters of political correctness, just be glad that you don’t speak German.

Professorin

Squirming as everyone does these days to find a way to neuter anything and everything that can be neutered because, well, I’m still not quite sure why that is… The University of Leipzig has now made a very important contribution to this valiant endeavor, I think.

In German, calling a man a Professor and a woman a Professorin simply isn’t as geschlechtsneutral (gender-free) as it needs to be in this complex time we live in, it seems. That’s why the head smart folks what’s in charge of proper correct-type language usage here have decided to simply matters drastically. From now on Leipzig professors of either sex will be referred to as “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor.

I know, I know. You think that I’m pulling your leg and that this is some kind of a prank or a punk or whatever it is they call it these days, but it isn’t. Honest. It’s here. We’ve come a way long way baby. And this is where we are now.

Mit “Professorin” können somit künftig auch Männer gemeint sein, “Dozentinnen” umfasst sowohl männliche als weibliche Personen.