But why would you leave Helsinki in the first place?

To come to Berlin, I mean.

Finns are the happiest people on Earth, I’m told. Germans, well, aren’t. And Berliners erst recht nicht (certainly not).

Traveling from Berlin to Helsinki — without using a plane. Flying is a major CO2 emitter when traveling. But how feasible are alternative modes of transportation?

Real chancellors don’t dance

Neither does Olaf Scholz.

In the future, Olaf Scholz will be present on the video platform Tiktok – just like around 21 million mainly young people in Germany every month. But there will be no dance videos from him, he promises...

Tiktok is owned by the Chinese company Bytedance and is suspected of being under the influence of the communist leadership in Beijing and not taking data protection and fake prevention very seriously.

What a surprise!

Not.

Everybody knows what’s going on. Just like everybody knows nothing will be done to stop it.

Germany: Violent crime reaches 15-year high — report. Germany recorded more than 214,000 criminal acts of violence last year, according to official police statistics. Overall crime also rose, according to data seen by the German paper Welt am Sonntag.

The number of suspects arrested rose by 7.3% to 2.246 million and 41.3% of them did not have a German passport.

Among the people without German nationality who were charged, 402,514 were described as refugees, asylum seekers and those who entered the country illegally.

In 2023, the offense of unauthorized entry rose 40% over the previous year, to 93,158 cases, while the offense of unauthorized stay increased by nearly 29% to 187,059 cases.

A third of crimes (1.971 million) were theft offenses, which rose 10.7% last year.

Having a “war-capable” army?

What will these crazy Germans dream up next?

Germany’s defense minister overhauls the military command as he seeks ‘war-capable’ armed forces – Germany’s defense minister has announced a plan to streamline and reorganize the country’s military command as part of efforts to make the armed forces of NATO’s most populous European member “war-capable.”

Berlin Airlift 2.0

Only now it’s time for some really heavy airlifting.

Botswana offers 20,000 elephants to Germany in diplomatic spat over trophy hunting – Botswana’s president challenged Berlin to take on 20,000 elephants – saying “it’s not a joke” – while opposing Germany’s proposed restrictions on the import of hunting trophies.

President Mokgweetsi Masisi suggested in an interview with German newspaper Bild that Berlin should try living with elephants to experience the challenges the endangered species bring to the community.

Mr Masisi was responding to Germany’s environment ministry suggesting earlier this year that there should be tougher rules against importing hunting trophies.

Botswana’s president said Germans should “live together with the animals, in the way you are trying to tell us to”.

Germany now greener than Green

I guess you could call this the high-water mark of Greenness.

Germany becomes the biggest EU country to legalise recreational cannabis – Germany on Monday became the biggest EU country to legalise recreational cannabis, despite fierce objections from opposition politicians and medical associations.

“From our point of view, the law as it is written is a disaster,” Katja Seidel, a therapist at a cannabis addiction centre for young people in Berlin, told AFP.

German of the day: “Planetary Health Menüs”

That means, well, I’m not really sure what that means.

I think it means Planet Earth has to go on a diet. Is that how they’re saving it now?

‘People mustn’t feel meat is being taken away’: German hospitals serve planetary health diet.

That’s right. People mustn’t think meat is being taken away just because we’ve taken away the meat. Our meals still meat the minimum daily requirements of… what? Of what we require our patients not to eat.

German of the day: Die Schnauze voll haben

Having the snout full means to be fed up with it, to be sick to death of it.

And the German Greens are filling up everybody’s snouts these days.

Germans Fed Up With Greens as Founding Member Resigns – The aggressive policies of the German Greens have alienated not only many voters in Germany but also their own supporters, including one of the founders of the party who has accused them of pursuing a warmongering foreign policy…

Annalena Baerbock, the young, inexperienced minister of foreign affairs, has promised to introduce a ‘feminist foreign policy,’ but she seems helpless in the face of the momentous challenges posed by the Russian-Ukraine war. The Greens have converted from a ‘pacifist’ party into the most belligerent party of all.

Breaking News: Isaiah, Ezekiel and Jeremiah are now right-wing white supremacists

And I’m not even going to get into the patriarchy part. Old Testament prophets go home!

You can’t make this stuff up, people.

‘We are dealing with fundamentalist rightwingers’: Berlin statues are latest battleground in Germany’s culture wars – Monuments erected on the Stadtschloss are an ‘infiltration’ of the city and its skyline by nationalists, say critics.

“It appears that we are dealing with a targeted infiltration of the Berlin palace by fundamentalist rightwingers who want to turn it into symbol of a Christian and thereby ‘white’ ethnic Germany.”