Russians Hack German Vote-O-Meter In Futile “Trump For Chancellor” Bid

August 31, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Political Parties, Voting, Wahl-O-Meter 3 Comments

Germany’s infamous Wahl-O.Meter app, a popular program that uses a series of questions to help undecided German voters (some 50 percent of the electorate) find the political party that suits them best, has been compromised by a group of mean and nasty Russian hackers, apparently in a vain attempt to get Donald Trump elected Chancellor of Germany.

Unfortunately, however, there is no such thing as a direct ballot for the office of German Chancellor so that “went into the pants” (was a complete flop), as the Germans like to say. But you can’t blame those clever Ruskies for not trying.

Since its inception 15 years ago, the Wahl-O-Mat’s main focus has been to mobilize younger voters. In fact, all 38 questions posed in the app chosen by a group of young and first-time voters. “Young people have contributed towards this product, which is aimed at furthering the political education,” Krüger said. “That is what lies at the very core.”

US-Amerika Somehow Behind AfD’s Rising Popularity

August 30, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Advertising, Advertising Companies, AfD, Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, Campaigns, Migrants, Political Parties, Refugees, Spiegel Online 3 Comments

Like duh. I suspected it all along. Who else could have possibly been behind it?

After all, as Spiegel Online reports in its inimitable fashion, the advertising company the Alternative for Germany party has now turned to “has worked with Donald Trump.” So there’s no need to read on. We don’t need to know anything more about them.

To assist in its efforts, the party has tapped Kunkel’s contacts to engage the services of advertising professionals in the United States with experience on the right-wing spectrum. The party is working together with the Texas-based agency Harris Media, which recently presented its plans to the AfD’s national committee. With its provocative and aggressive campaigns, the agency has already contributed to the success of a number of controversial politicians. In Britain, it worked with the anti-EU UKIP party; in Israel, it worked with the governing Likud party; and in the United States, news agency Bloomberg has dubbed company founder Vincent Harris “the man who invented the Republican internet.”

“Burkas? We prefer bikinis.”

Do They Have A Marxist-Leninist Animal Protection Party, Too?

August 28, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: Berln, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Political Parties 1 Comment

They are an endangered species, after all. Maybe not in Berlin. But everywhere else they are – aren’t they?

German political parties are not as boring as you think they are. They are much more boring than you can possibly imagine. But some of them are also just plain wacky. Wacky and boring. It’s a new level of boring. Wacky-boring, I guess. I can’t say if it’s higher or lower but it’s a new level.

Take the V-Partei³, for instance. Please. Voters almost across the board can vote for the V-Partei³ (the V-cubed party) – the party for “Veränderung” (“change” in English), Vegetarians and Vegans. Founded in 2016 at the Veggieworld trade fair in Munich, the party has about 1,200 members. By 2030, they’d like to see all butchers go out of business, true to their motto: “We love life.”

Germany’s election campaign is a snooze—just the way Merkel likes it.

Invite Unilaterally, Distribute Fairly

August 27, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Angela Merkel, Asylum Seekers, EU, German, Germans, Germany, Migrants, Refugees 3 Comments

No, that is not an election campaign motto, although it sure could be. That, of course, is the well known thought process (for lack of a better term) behind Angela Merkel’s decision to open Germany’s borders to refugees back in 2015.

This thought process was not well thought out, however. To put it mildly. That Germany is located in the center of Europe and thus far away from Europe’s actual southern border, for example, a border which we have now learned does not even exist, is one itsy bitsy problem here.

Countries like Italy and Greece are completely swampted now, of course. This is because countries like Austria took care of Germany’s problem by closing their borders. Now Angela Merkel is calling once again for a fairer distribution of refugees. Like for the eighty-seventh time already. But it is not clear what she means (what part of no don’t you understand?). Does she mean Italy and Greece when she calls for EU countries to show more solidarity in taking in the refugees? Which refugees does she mean? The million or two who made it into Germany before reality made sure legality got switched back on again – or the latest batch?

Using a complex mathematical formula I have just worked out, I would say that the whole thing is an incredibly big ugly mess caused by no one other than the German chancellor and that it is up to Germany now to take care of this problem. But that’s just me. Elections are approaching in Germany and her popularity here is as high as it has ever been. And no, I don’t have a complex mathematical formula to explain that. I am not in that league.

“I would take all the important decisions of 2015 the same way again.”

Martin Schulz Also To Demand End Of Cold War

August 23, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Humor, Hype, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Martin Schulz, Nuclear weapons, Pandering, SPD Leave a comment

Once he’s elected and has demanded that US-Amerika remove it’s nuclear armaments from German soil. All two or three of them (they’ve already kind of sort of been removed already, see?).

It’s a brave move, as always, but the SPD’s Martin Schulz is known for taking those hard stands. It’s always about principle when it comes to the SPD.

Then, after ending the nuclear arms race and Cold War, he will demand that Germany’s invasion of Poland be nullified, Hitler’s rise to power cancelled and World War 1 be put off indefinetely. If that doesn’t get the vote this guy needs, nothing will.

“Trump wants nuclear armament. We are against this.”

We’re Not Putin You On

August 17, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, German, Germans, Germany, Merkel, Polls, Putin, Surveys, Trump 2 Comments

A new survey indicates that the vast majority of Germans hold Russia’s Vladimir Putin to be more trustworthy than US-Amerika’s Donald Trump.

In fairness to Donald Trump, however, these Germans also found Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro, Syria’s Bashar al-Assad and North Korea’s Kim Jong-un more trustworthy, too. Or so I assume.

Please note: These are people who even find Germany’s Angela Merkel more trustworthy. For crying out loud already.

The disparity in favor of Putin over Trump was most stark in Greece and Germany, where he outscored the US president by 31 and 14 points, respectively. In Germany, around a quarter of respondents said they had confidence in Putin, while only 11 percent said the same of Trump.

German Brains Tick Differently

August 11, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Hideology, Home Cooking Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Polls, Renewable energy, Solar energy, Surveys, Wind Energy 2 Comments

So let’s tock about it. “Germans Just Love Paying Sky-High Prices for Green Energy.”

Huh? I don’t get it, either. It’s kind of like Angela Merkel’s popularity ratings. How could she still be in office after that refugee number of hers? Yet her popularity ratings are still very high. It makes no sense.

So even though… The cost of the Energiewende is largely borne by German consumers, who pay a surcharge of around €20 ($23.61) on their energy bills. German households pay more for their electricity than in any other European country except for Denmark, where power costs €0.308 per kilowatt hour to Germany’s €0.298.

However, as the latest survey – conducted by Kantar Emnid on the AEE’s behalf – shows, enthusiasm for renewables is increasing if anything. “The survey results show the breadth of the societal consensus supporting the Energiewende in Germany,” said AEE deputy managing director Nils Boenigk.

The AEE’s survey that 95 percent saw the expansion of renewables as important or extremely important. That’s up from 93% in a similar survey last year.

95 Prozent der Deutschen für Ausbau von Ökostromanlagen.

What The SPD Stands For

August 10, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Hypocrisy Tags: Defense, Docial Democrats, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, NATO, Social Democracy, SPD 3 Comments

Stop Paying for Defense, for one thing.

It’s election time, you see. And Germans like to pretend they are pacifists (as the world’s third largest weapons exporter). So the SPD, once again, is going to take an unpopular stand (not) and rule out their country’s obligation to meet NATO’s two percent defense spending target – a target the Germans agreed to years ago and still refuse to meet. You’ve got to have backbone in politics.

The parliamentary leader of Germany’s Social Democratic Party (SPD) rejected NATO’s 2 percent of GDP defense spending target and called for strategic investment in the German armed forces in an interview published Thursday.

“We think this is the wrong way, and with the SPD in the government there will be no such thing.”

Schulz Effect Now Tropical Depression Schulz

August 6, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Hype, Language, Martin Schulz, Media Hype, Political Parties, Social Democracy, Socialism, SPD 1 Comment

Only we’re not in the tropics here.

And down, down, down they go. Germany’s Social Democrats (SPD) keep losing ground in the polls just weeks ahead of the country’s parliamentary election. They have now reached what they call the vor-Schulz-Tief or pre-Schulz-low before the legendary, if not mythical medial Schulz effect kicked in when he announced his candidacy. Well, at least he’s not an alien. Having the media on your side doesn’t always help, folks. Not here in Germany, either, I mean.

The Greens have seen better days themselves. Some of the Green rats have even begun jumping ship.

„Die spannende Entscheidung ist der Platz drei. Daran zeigt sich, welche Botschaft von der Bundestagswahl ausgeht. Für die Grünen sind alle, die ihre Meinungen nicht teilen, dumm, von gestern oder böse. Diese Überheblichkeit ist nicht nur nervtötend, sondern auch eine Gefahr für den Wohlstand, wenn Technologien zum Feindbild gemacht werden.“

Martin Schulz Takes An Unpopular Stand For German Votes

August 4, 2017 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Anti-Americanism, Donald Trump, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Journalism, Martin Schulz, Media, Spiegel Online, Voting 5 Comments

Breaking with SPD vote pandering tradition, Martin Schulz has decided to show some real backbone by telling German voters what they do not want to hear.

In a shock move nobody here could have possibly expected, and with the German election just weeks away, Schulz has decided to reshuffle the playing cards by coming out to savagely criticize American President Donald Trump.

Like, you got have courage, you know?

DER SPIEGEL: Before the U.S. election, you told us that as president of the United States, Donald Trump would be “not only a problem for the EU, but also for the entire world.” You were right.

Schulz: It has actually been far worse.

DER SPIEGEL: What do you mean by that?

Schulz: It was clear to me that the White House’s solemn atmosphere would not civilize Trump. But the merciless nepotism with which he conducts politics, in which he places himself and his family above the law, I wouldn’t have considered that possible. And on top of that there is this reduction of complex political decisions to 140 characters. When it comes to a U.S. president, I consider the reduction of politics to a tweet to be truly dangerous. Trump is a risk to his country and the entire world.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helections