Confirm Your Prejudice Here

Germans still have walls in their heads? Why should that surprise anybody? Everybody else does, too. It’s just that the Germans are the only ones who have an excuse for it, sort of.

Wall

“Eastern Germans often say that western Germans are arrogant, materialistic, more bureaucratic and superficial.”

…But Eastern Germans aren’t the only ones still holding prejudices – western Germans have their own clichés about Germans from the former GDR. According to surveys conducted by leading opinion research centers, western Germans think Eastern Germans are sour, mistrustful and anxious. On the other hand, only 43 percent of western Germans considered eastern Germans “motivated” and “flexible.”

And both are right, of course. Hey, if you believe you are a second class citizen, then you are one. And if you believe you are the superior one who calls all the shots, then you are. But it’s kind of fun watching these folks slowly ride off into the East-West sunset. Both camps know quite well that they’re already von gestern (yesterday’s news). Or as Butt-Head used to put it: “Uh-huh, old people, uh-huh.”

“The second and third generations after the unification are much more optimistic, and see more equality between east and west. The proportion of those who think there are more differences than similarities between eastern and western Germans has continuously decreased over the past years.”

And have a happy Unification Day already.

Der Spiegel: Republicans End Amerika As We Know It

Uh, that’s bad, right?

Republicans

America’s Republicans have emerged again as a crazed mob. The conservatives have stubbornly voted for the shutdown and against their own leadership. In doing so, they are only thinking of their own careers and not about their party.

Wow. That’s kind of touching. I honestly had no idea that Der Spiegel was so concerned about the Republican Party up until now.

Amerikas Republikaner erscheinen mal wieder wie ein wildgewordener Haufen. Die Konservativen stimmen stur für den Shutdown und gegen die eigene Führung. Dabei denken sie nur an ihre Karriere und nicht an die Partei.

The Perfect Alarm

I mean storm. Germany doesn’t even need a wake-up call. But they are always appreciated anyway. The ink was hardly dry on the latest alarming expert IPCC report about “higher seas” (is ink even used anymore?) before German experts here were suddenly quite certain that investments of hundreds of millions of euros will be needed in this country for massive costal protection measures like “super dikes” and other cool stuff like that.

Unwetter

“It is extremely likely” that these investments will just be a meager beginning too, I’m sure. After all, as all Germans know, scary storm tides just keep getting worse and worse here, right?

And WE ALL KNOW that there will be even scarier storm tides crashing in over the German coast in the weeks and months to come because, well, this here IPCC report thingy needs some more handfest (tangible) confirmation. That Germany has always had a Sturmflutsaison (storm tide season) and monster storms throughout recorded history will be of no interest here.

Sound like Fukishima all over again? It should. This is Fukishma all over again. Only different, because the big storm tide hasn’t happened yet.

I think I’m going to go out and get my potable water and canned goods now.

“In der Regel waren die Deiche in den vergangenen Jahren in einem guten bis sehr guten Zustand. Damit das auch künftig so bleibt, werden im Land derzeit einige alte Deiche durch Superdeiche ersetzt.”

How Alarming

No, not that shocking IPCC global warming report (yawn). Alarming is just how much of a fiasco Germany’s Energiewende (energy turnaround) is turning out to be.

Wetter

Michael Limburg, vice-president of the European Institute for Climate and Energy, told CNN that the government’s energy targets are “completely unfeasible.”

“Of course, it’s possible to erect tens of thousands of windmills but only at an extreme cost and waste of natural space,” he said. “And still it would not be able to deliver electricity when it is needed.”

Limburg told CNN the rapid transition to renewables is economically “insane,” arguing that wind farms will cost at least 13 times more than traditional coal plants.

He added: “Offshore wind is somewhat better in performance, cost and usability but still you have to spend six times as much as what you have to spend for a conventional power plant.”

Germans are already facing some of the highest energy bills in Europe.

According to the Institute for Energy Research, this year German electricity rates will increase by over 10% due to a surcharge for using more renewable energy and a further 30 to 50% price increase is expected in the next ten years.

Blackouts are another problem facing Germany’s energy industry…

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) said in a report that a hiatus in warming this century, when temperatures have risen more slowly despite growing emissions, was a natural variation that would not last.

No Berlin Wall Here

Not unless you look at how Berliners vote, that is.

Berlin

There was no great cross-border migration in the city after 1989. People had security of tenure in their flats, and they stayed put. Berlin had a large concentration of members of the Socialist Unity Party (as the communist party in East Germany was called), as well as the civil servants and Stasi operatives who kept the communist state running, and they have remained in their areas and transferred their loyalty to Die Linke.

PS: Speaking of cross-border migration, whatever happened to Ray? You know, that Dutch dude who ripped off Berlin’s youth services for 30,000 euros while doing his memory loss show for months on end? Well, he just got slammed with all the Härte (severity) of German law and will now have to perform 150 hours of community work AND receive counseling. Yowie. Let me tell you what. The Germans do NOT mess around when it comes to dishing out draconic punishment.

Inconvenient Truths

Greens

No, not just the one about top German Green party leaders having to resign after seeing their party’s vote drop to 8.4 percent under their leadership (from 10.7 percent in 2009).

Climate

There is also the one that climatologists are going to have to face – according to the Spiegel, of all places – about the data showing how global temperatures just aren’t rising the way they had so alarmingly and repeatedly predicted they would.

This is a dilemma. Or another moment of inconvenient truth? I guess the question now is how the Greens and the climatologists are going to get together and manage to kick-start the fear and get it reved up again. Or what other options could they possibly have?

The number of people who believe in such a coming apocalypse, however, has considerably decreased. A survey conducted on behalf of SPIEGEL found a dramatic shift in public opinion — Germans are losing their fear of climate change. While in 2006 a sizeable majority of 62 percent expressed a fear of global warning, that number has now become a minority of just 39 percent.

PS: It must be hard to be cool and smug and still get whooped bad by  a dull, frumpy and uncharismatic “Swabian houswife.”

FDP R.I.P. Greens With Envy.

FDP

With 4.8 percent, the FDP was well below the 5 percent needed to enter parliament, and 10 percent below their showing in 2009. For the first time since 1949, the liberals will not be represented nationally.

Greens

The Greens took 8.4% of the vote, enough to win representation in parliament, the Bundestag, but too little to form its preferred coalition with the Social Democratic Party, which won 25.7%.

“The FDP is tough. They have a deep history. They have representatives all over the country, including in the municipalities. They are deeply anchored in society, in the public – so it’s not yet the end of the FDP.”

Nach der Schlappe bei der Bundestagswahl will der Vorstand der Grünen geschlossen abtreten. Volker Beck zieht sich als Parlamentarischer Geschäftsführer zurück.

Well You Can Buy Christmas Goodies Here In September, Too

Go to any ALDI or LIDL these days if you don’t believe me (I prefer the Spekulatius myself).

Oktoberfest

So why should it surprise anybody that’s it’s October in September again already, too. Or nearly so. Prepare or be square.

Tip number 1: Go get your Lederhose NOW. Or a Dirndl, if your prefer. The same applies to the girls. Only after having put on one of these will you be able to celebrate the Oktoberfest in a really zünftig (hearty) fashion. And only after having put down two or three liters of Bier too, of course. But that goes without saying.

Nr. 1 – Das richtige Outfit: In Dirndl und Lederhosen feiert es sich einfach am zünftigsten. Diverse Online-Shops bieten eine große Auswahl für „Madln“ (=Mädels) und „Buam“ (=Jungs). Da aber beides perfekt sitzen soll, empfiehlt es sich, das Outfit vor Ort zu kaufen. Ein Tipp für die Damen: wird die Schleife der Dirndl-Schürze rechts gebunden, gilt Frau als vergeben, links bedeutet: „Ich bin noch zu haben.“

Talk To The Hands

Or let them talk to you. It’s election time here in Germany. And these images below are forms of German politician hand-speak meant to subliminally woo undecided voters at the last minute. Or at least I can only assume that this is what this is meant to be.

Volksnah” (in touch with the people) by the SPD.

Stinkefinger

Bescheiden” (modest) by the FDP.

Bescheiden

And “Ruhig” (serene) by the Chancellor herself.

Merkel

Fingerspitzen sanft aneinandergedrückt, die Hände formen eine Raute – seit Jahren macht die deutsche Kanzlerin Angela Merkel immer wieder dieses “Geheimzeichen”. Und sie ist nicht mehr alleine…

PS: And everybody seems to be doing that Chancellor one these days.

Evil

You Gotta Have Courage

68 years after Adolf Hitlers’s death, Left party town councillors in the German city of Goslar have decided it is now time for the city to show its colors and some backbone and fearlessly strip the unpopular Nazi leader of his honorary citizenship.

Hitler

It’s civil courage like this that made Germany what it is today. Or something.

Some 4,000 German towns made Hitler an honorary citizen, and many have since stripped him of the title, some right after the war, while others did it only recently, such as the southern town of Trier in 2010.