Ends Monday.
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Category Archives: Humor
Accidents Do Happen
A German construction company has apologized to the city of Goslar after laying bricks in the shape of a swastika at a new shopping center there (this is the town that finally got up enough civil courage to revoke Adolf Hitler of his honorary citizenship last year, after all).
The builders claim that the shape of the bricks was purely accidental but when trying to contact the particular worker responsible to ask him about some other shapes discovered at the shopping center (the Nazi party eagle, several pairs of SS bolts and a big “I Love Adolf” mosaic) he could no longer be found for questioning.
“We have no leads, we are keeping our options open and investigating. We are speaking to the building firm responsible for the new footpath. They claim it was not deliberate but just an innocent mistake, and have already changed it.”
Forget About The Scots
Now it’s time to get the Bavarians outta here!
In further signs that the Scottish referendum on independence is inspiring secessionist movements across Europe, Germany’s Bavaria Party has signalled its support for the Scottish Yes campaign amidst hopes that Bavaria could also become independent.
This was to be expected, I guess. But I’m just not sure yet if these are the Bavarians who want Bavaria to secede or the rest of Germany.
Wollt Ihr nich auch die Bayern loswerden? Dann wählt die Bayernpartei.
Der Büroschlaf Ist Immer Noch Am Gesündesten
Sleep at the office is still the healthiest. But not even that is enough to keep us top fit these days, it seems.
A shocking new study reveals that none of us are getting nearly enough sleep and that this is eventually going to make us go all demented and stuff if we aren’t all demented and stuff already. Before it kills us, I mean.
It appears that this stressful information society we live in is causing us to sleep one and a half hours less then we used to back in the 1960s because, well, I dunno, we have to process sleep data fun facts like this, for instance. We are suffering from permanent sleep deprivation, these experts tell us. All of us. So wake up and go back to sleep already.
„In unserer Informationsgesellschaft schlafen wir ein bis eineinhalb Stunden kürzer als noch in den 1960er Jahren. Wir haben relativen Schlafentzug – alle.“
501 German Oddities
501 German Oddities. No way. Is that all there are?
And you don’t have to read all about them on these new-fangled eReader thingies all the time, you know. Or do you? Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, etc.
German Of The Day: Hauptverkehrszeit
You know, the peak hour? The highpoint? Not to be confused with other kinds of public Verkehr (traffic) out there, however.
It usually takes place in the Berlin subway around have sex, I mean halb sechs (five-thirty) in the morning, maybe later. Sometimes the Hauptverkehrszeit comes earlier, though. Even when it’s in the evening. Or in the middle of the night.
Police said that charges could only be brought in such a case if someone felt disturbed by the couple’s display and reported it to the authorities.
Germans Thrilled About Crappy TV Satire Nobody Watched Last Night
Or at least German Twittererers are.
It was called “State Affair” and had to do with an affair (like a sex one) between two heads of state – the German Chancellor lady and the French President dude.
I dunno. Sounds pretty satirical to me. Should have worked. But apparently it didn’t.
Like one guy tweeted: “I don’t even buy Veronica Ferres playing the role of Veronica Ferres.”
Sex beim Gipfeltreffen: Veronica Ferres verliebt sich als deutsche Bundeskanzlerin in den französischen Präsidenten. Die TV-Satire “Die Staatsaffäre” beginnt und endet wie schlimmes Werbefernsehen. Zwischendurch amüsiert man sich aber prächtig.
What This Town Needs Is A Maximum Security Zoo
Not only do prison inmates in Berlin get to unionize so they can push for a minimum wage and a pension plan, they also get to go on regular visits to Berlin’s famous Zoo called the , uh, Berliner Zoo.
But some of these creepy dirtballs ruthlessly take advantage of their prison’s warm-hearted generosity by escaping when the two unsuspecting and unarmed guards accompanying them are caught off guard. While looking at the animals and stuff. In the zoo. Just like somebody called Hassan C. did yesterday. Man oh man. Some of these unionized prison inmates can be real jerks when they’re not in prison.
Wie konnte ihm die Flucht gelingen?
We All Lose Our Heads Once In A While
But how do you lose a 5.6-foot tall one of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin? It’s not easy, but Berlin city authorities can do it.
It was the star of Good Bye Lenin, Wolfgang Becker’s tragicomedy set around the fall of the Berlin Wall: a statue of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, suspended from a helicopter, seemingly waving goodbye to the crumbling socialist republic.
But more than two decades after it was torn down, Berlin authorities have admitted the giant monument may be lost in storage.
And You Thought US-Amerika Had Problems With Potholes
A Second World War bomb discovered under one of Germany’s busiest autobahns has blown a 65ft hole in the road after it exploded.
Bomb disposal experts were forced to carry out a controlled explosion after being unable to defuse the 1,000lb British shell which was unearthed during construction work.
Der britische Blindgänger war neben der stark befahrenen Autobahn 3 in der Nähe des Frankfurter Flughafens bei Bauarbeiten gefunden worden. Um die Fundstelle wurde eine 1000-Meter-Sicherheitszone eingerichtet. Die Autobahn wurde voll gesperrt, es kam zu kilometerlangen Staus.
Observing Hermann 