If it looks like a recession, swims like a recession, and quacks like a recession, then it’s probably…

A fourth straight quarter of zero or negative growth.

Germany likely in recession, Bundesbank says – Germany is likely in recession now as external demand is weak, consumers remain cautious and domestic investment is held back by high borrowing costs, the Bundesbank said in a regular monthly report on Monday about Europe’s biggest economy.

Germany has struggled since Russia’s 2022 invasion of Ukraine pushed up energy costs, and its vast, industry-heavy economy is now in its fourth straight quarter of zero or negative growth, weighing on all of the euro zone.

“Off to a political start?”

There seems to be some misunderstanding here. The Berlin Film Festival has never not gotten off to a political start.

It moves on from there to a politcal midway point and then to a political end, for some political end, politically. It’s never been any different. That’s why the films they show here are always so crappy.

Berlin Film Festival Off to a Political Start as Three Protests Precede Opening Ceremony – After kicking off with a feisty press conference, the Berlin Film Festival got even more political as three groups of protesters descended on Potsdamer Platz before the start of opening night festivities.

German of the day: Na also, es geht doch

That means, more or less: “Well, what do you know? It’s possible after all.”

Germany hits 2% NATO spending target for first time since end of Cold War – Germany has met a NATO alliance target to spend 2% of its gross domestic product on defence for the first time since the early 1990s, a defence ministry spokesperson said on Wednesday, as spending ramped up after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine in 2022.

The German government is allocating the equivalent of 71.8 billion euros ($76.8 billion) for defence spending in the current year through regular and special budget outlays. However, the sum of its total defence spending is classified.

New measures “reflect widespread nervousness”

They reflect the widespread nervousness caused by the somewhat older new measures created to increase this widespread nervousness, a widespread nervousness that was increased by other new measures before them that much, much older new measures created in the first place.

You know the routine. Ritual, actually. “Right-wing extremism” is on the rise in Germany. It’s always been on the rise, of course. It’s been on the rise for decades and decades yet it never seems to rise quite high enough to satisfy those worrying about its rising. These are, at the moment, those politicians in the established parties being threatened by the AfD, a party that actually claims to be interested in addressing the migrant madness German voters want them to address, something these established parties refuse to do. They’re plotting to ban the AfD, in other words, because they are incapable of addressing the problems the electorate wants them to address.

Germany bolsters gun curbs, financial policing to rein in far right – German Interior Minister Nancy Faeser on Tuesday unveiled measures ranging from stronger financial policing and earlier detection of so-called botnets to tightened firearms controls to tackle a far-right surge that has spooked the country.

The measures reflect widespread nervousness that the far-right Alternative for Germany party could end up the largest party in several state parliaments later this year, propelled by a gloomy economy and overburdened public services.

Other than that, though…

Germany’s economy is doing just fine.

Germany’s economy is on shaky ground and glimmers of hope are few and far between – Good news has been sparse for the German economy. And the latest economic data has not done much to change this.

A few key 2023 data points, namely factory orders, exports and industrial production, were out last week and indicated a weak end to the year that saw questions about Germany being the “sick man of Europe” resurface.

“Persistent weakness” sounds bad

But not as bad as “greatest real estate crisis since the financial crisis.”

The fun just never seems to end these days.

German bank alerts the market on exposure to commercial real estate – The troubles in the US commercial property market, which have already hit banks in New York and Japan, moved to Europe this week, elevating fears about broader contagion.

The latest victim was Germany’s Deutsche Pfandbriefbank AG, which saw its bonds slump on concern about its exposure to the sector. It responded by issuing an unscheduled statement Wednesday that it had increased provisions because of the “persistent weakness of the real estate markets.”

It described the current turmoil as the “greatest real estate crisis since the financial crisis.”

What a relief!

I was really worried for a while there that the Berlin Film Festival was going to say it supports right-wing extremism.

But now it’s official. The Berlin Film Festival says it stands against right-wing extremism. Whew. Thank goodness. You just never know these days.

What a clown show.

“Members of the AfD were elected to the Bundestag and the Berlin House of Representatives in the last elections. Accordingly, they are also represented in political cultural committees and other bodies. That is a fact, and we have to accept it as such,” the festival said. “Both the Federal Government Commissioner for Culture and the Media and the Berlin Senate receive invitation quotas for the Berlinale, which are allocated to the democratically elected members of all parties in the Bundestag and House of Representatives. It was against this background that the AfD representatives were invited to the Berlinale.”

Let’s make the AfD stronger!

Similar to the way the dirty tricks played on Donald Trump in the Banana Republic only make him more popular, German anti-AfD protests are only increasing its popularity.

Anyone paying attention here sees this for what it is: An orchestrated attempt by the established parties and their state media hacks to either 1) weaken the far-right party at the polls or 2) foster the atmosphere in which they can attempt to ban the party. You know. If you can’t beat them, ban them?

Germans Protest Far-right AfD for Third Straight Week Amid Its Spike in Popularity – After a meeting took place to discuss ‘re-migration’ of immigrants from Germany, protesters have taken to the streets to voice their opposition to the rising far-right nationalism in Germany. Chancellor Olaf Scholz applauded the demonstrations.

Will the escalation never end?

First, German climate activists of the “last generation” kind decided to glue themselves to the roads (and boy have those roads ever been cold these days).

Now they’ve decided to up the ante and begin organizing “disobedient assemblies.”

The next thing you know they’ll be holding hands and breath together until they turn blue in the face! This senseless escalation of violence must finally come to an end, people. I mean it.

German climate activists to stop gluing themselves to roads – Climate group the Last Generation said they will no longer glue themselves to roads as a protest method. They will now use the tactic of organizing “disobedient assemblies.”

PS: German of the day: Wütend (the guy with the sign). That means angry.