Biomass Movement Is Over (If You Want It)

July 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bioenergy, Biomass, Energy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Politics, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Energy Turnaround Leave a comment

Remember the days when crops were something people would eat?

Well the German National Academy of Sciences Leopoldina has just found out that that maybe wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The German mania for “bioenergy” seems to have already had its day in the solar-powered sun. The academy’s report “Bioenergy – Chances and Limits” concludes that bioenergy is just a lot of bio gas (or hot bio air, if you prefer).

It plays “a minor role in the transition to renewable, sustainable energy sources in Germany at the present time and probably in the future,” requiring more surface area, creating higher greenhouse gas emissions and being more harmful to the environment than other renewable sources.

So what are we going to do with all those imported soybeans now? Eat them? Hey, the plan looked good on green paper, though.

“Die Produktion von Biokraftstoffen stellte eine extrem ineffiziente Nutzung der verfügbaren landwirtschaftlichen Fläche dar.”

This Is A German Swearing

July 26, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Businesses, Cussing, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Psychology, Satire, Stress, Swearing, Telephones Leave a comment

Boy, talk about the line being busy.

Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam – dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.

The swearing hotline, known as “Schimpf-los” (“swear away”) in German, has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer at and taunt using the most unsavory language they can muster.

“That’s the third time I’ve heard that today – is that all you’ve got?”

Germany Confused About Japan’s “Retreat” From A Nuclear-Free Future

July 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Humor, Ideology, Nuclear energy, Nuclear power, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, Wind Energy Leave a comment

And here we thought that Germans were good at math.

Until Fukushima, Japan satisfied about 30 percent of its electricity demands with nuclear power, while renewable energy made up about 10 percent of the power supply. If one leaves out hydroelectric power, renewables hardly make up more than 1 percent.

“Japan needs a vision.”

The Lesser Of Two Evils

July 24, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debt, Finance, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Moody's, Rating Agencies, The Euro, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

“Finally, a rating agency showed a sense for good timing. The announcement could hardly have come at a better time: Moody’s casts doubts on Germany’s top rating. The rating agency provided its top grade “AAA” rating with a negative outlook. This is perfect timing for the debate which has taken place these past few days concerning additional help payments to Greece.”

“The agency gives two main arguments behind taking this step, and they should be clear to everyone.

First there is the danger that Greece would leave the euro: Then the danger of further contamination for other countries like Italy and Spain would be a threat.

But secondly there is another, far greater danger: If none of these countries leave the euro, then financially weak states would have to be supported indefinitely by the stronger ones.”

“Germany continues to find itself in a very solid economic and financial situation.”

The End With Horror

July 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debt, Euro, Europe, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Political Parties, Sayings, The Debt Cricis, The EU, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

No horror here. Or terror, if you prefer. How does that German proverb go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende?

That is, better an end with horror than a horror without end. And that’s where we’re at with Greece now, finally.

German Vice Chancellor Philipp Roesler said he’s “very skeptical” that European leaders will be able to rescue Greece and the prospect of the country’s exit from the euro had “lost its terror.”

Get it over with already, people, and move on.

Where Have All The Occupiers Gone?

July 20, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Capitalism, Demonstrations, Frankfurt, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Satire, The Occupy Movement, Wall Street Leave a comment

Wo sind sie geblieben?

Remember when an occupy camp used to be an occupy camp? When a man was a man and a woman was a woman and the occupy movement was a joke? Oh sure, it still is, but who cares anymore?

Now, at least for the occupy camp in front of the European Central Bank in Franfurt, “garbage, rats, social distress and addiction problems have pushed the captitalism protests into the background.”

We will yet overcome or something.

Müll und Ratten sowie soziale und Suchtprobleme haben den kapitalismuskritischen Protest längst in den Hintergrund gedrängt.

Your Tax Euros At Work

July 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Government Meddling, Humor, Mismangement, Nuerburgring, Racing, Satire, Socialism, SPD, State Intervention, Waste 1 Comment

SPD Governor (Rhineland-Palatinate) Kurt Beck just can’t resign, Nürnburgring bankruptcy or not. This is because, well, “he’s been in office longer than any other German governor” out there. Or is that maybe part of the problem?

Nuerburgring GmbH, 90 percent owned by the state, ran into financial trouble amid a dispute with the track’s operator over leasing fees, and Rhineland-Palatinate has sought to restructure the company with the help of a bridge financing package.

„Jetzt wird es Zeit, dass MP Beck selbst politische Insolvenz anmeldet.“

Grumbling German Jihadis Go Home

July 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Goodbye Deutschland, Humor, Islam, Islamic Terror, Jihad, Pakistan, Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Training Camps, TV Leave a comment

The German jihad just ain’t what it used to be.

A lot like those disgruntled Auswanderer (emigrant) types on Goodby Deutschland who invariably tuck in their tails and head back home in disgrace, hundreds of aspiring Islamic terrorists from Germany (and their families) have had it up to here already in Waziristan and are heading back to Deutschland in frustration and disgust.

It turns out that their living conditions in the mountains were tougher and less romantic than those portrayed in the promotional clips and what with the disease and the hardship and death always raining down from the sky from American drones and dozens of German combatants already dead, hey, not even going back to live in Germany seemed all that bad a prospect anymore.

What do you think? Which one of these guys is going to turn out to be the next Daniela Katzenberger?

“The first time I heard about going to Pakistan, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I didn’t even know if you could get Pampers there.”

We Must Save The World But It Must Be Affordable

July 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Energy Turnaround, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Cheap, in other words.

Germans everywhere are slowly waking up to the fact that their revolutionary switch to renewable energy sources is going to cost way too way much more than they ever thought they would ever have to pay – and the German government has now woken up to this.

That is why they have now begun a quiet backpedaling policy designed to prepare the German population for a slow turnaround from the energy turnaround that hasn’t even begun to turn around yet.

“For me it’s a priority that electricity remains affordable,” Germany’s new Environment Minister Peter Altmaier says, for instance.

He also says he doubts that Germany will be able to reach its goal of introducing one million electric cars by 2020.

Nor does he think that Germany will be able to cut its energy consumption by 10 percent that year, a precondition for reaching the illusory goal of 35 percent renewables the government is still aiming for, sort of.

This is the German Environment Minister talking here, folks. So you get the message, don’t you? And if you don’t get it now, you’ll get it later.

Regierung fürchtet die Strompreis-Wut der Wähler

“Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver”

July 16, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Das Sommerloch, German, Germans, Germany, Hallucinations, Humor, Mass Hysteria, Panic, Satire, Wild Animals Leave a comment

Like wow. Who would have thought that?

Klausi the Krokodil turned out to be just another stupid beaver. The hysteria was wonderful while it lasted, though.

Das Phantom-Krokodil «Klausi» hatte die Stadt mehr als eine Woche lang in Atem gehalten. Die beiden Zeugen hatten angegeben, ein etwa ein Meter langes Tier mit langem Schwanz und Krallen gesehen zu haben.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hurt Feelings