Little Oskar Banging His Tin Drum Again

June 23, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Ashton Carter, Berlin, Crimea, Defense, German, Germans, Germany, Left Party, Military, Oskar Lafontaine, Oskar Matzerath, Putin, Sahra Wagenknecht, SPD, The Tin Drum, Ukraine Leave a comment

And still refusing to grow up. This is, after all, the failed SPD chancellor candidate who then somehow managed to go even further left and join the Left Party to fail big time there, too.

He has these fits every now and then, folks. Ain’t no big deal. This time it looks like somebody opened a Facebook account for him (I bet it was his current wife, Rosa Luxemburg) and now that US-Amerika‘s latest defense minister Ashton Kutcher, I mean Carter, has come to the American sector itself he’s going hog wild in a big way (Oskar not Ashton). And speaking of which, how many freakin’ defense ministers have we had these past six or seven years anyways?

Carter having been sent to Germany by Warlord President of Naked Aggression George W. Bush himself, Oskar is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore and has lambasted this affront by calling to “fuck the US imperialism,” although it isn’t at all clear who he wants to have do this for him. And speaking of which, I meant the World President of Peace Obama HIMSELF himself, of course.

“The US war minister calls Europeans to stand up against Russian ‘aggression’ whereas the Europeans have all the more reason to stand up against US aggression.”

Attention for those of you who wear glasses: That loud drum-pounding of his can certainly be annoying and all but what you really have to watch out for are his glass-breaking screams.

Der US-Kriegsminister ruft die Europäer dazu auf, sich der russischen ‘Aggression’ entgegenzustellen. Dabei hätten die Europäer allen Grund, sich der Aggression der USA entgegenzustellen.”

Russian And Chinese Intelligence Services Now Big Edward Snowden Fans, Too

June 14, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Agents, China, Eavesdropping, Edward Snowden, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, Intelligence Agencies, Russia, Treachery, Treason 2 Comments

It’s not just the Germans who worship the very ground this guy whistleblows on. The Russian and Chinese spy communities are really thrilled with him, too. Particularly when it comes to the secret information they have now been able to access by breaking into the encrypted files held by the heroic American turncoat.

“Snowden has done incalculable damage,” one British intelligence source has just reported. “In some cases the agencies have been forced to intervene and lift their agents from operations to prevent them from being identified and killed.”

Russland und China sollen streng geheime Dokumente des früheren US-Geheimdienstmitarbeiters und Whistleblowers Edward Snowden entschlüsselt haben.

Know Your Friends

June 10, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: Bundeswehr, Crimea, German, Germans, Germany, Military, NATO, Polls, Russia, Studies, Ukraine 2 Comments

You know, like you know your enemies? But with friends like this…

According to a Pew Research Center study, only 38 percent of Germans would want to help a NATO country if it were to be attacked by Russia. Far more than half of those asked would be against it. So much for NATO’s Article 5.

Das ist im Vergleich mit anderen Nato-Ländern die größte Ablehnung militärischer Hilfe nach Artikel 5 des Nato-Vertrags, der im Angriffsfall die gemeinsame Verteidigung vorsieht. In Italien (51 Prozent), Frankreich (53) und Spanien (47) sind die Werte der Umfrage zufolge etwas niedriger, während in Polen und Großbritannien fast die Hälfte der Befragten für eine militärische Unterstützung wäre.

Greece Worried Eurozone Could Collapse

June 9, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Brussels, Debt, Euro, Eurozone, German, Germany, Greece, Grexit, Hollande, Merkel, Tsipras 1 Comment

And Greece is willing to help.

Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras has just pointed out to Merkel, Hollande & Co. that his country, accounting for a whopping 2% of the eurozone’s economy, is now finally ready to lend officials in Brussels all the money they will need in the turbulent times to come. Provided, of course, that they hand it all over to Greece first (along with a couple zillion euros on top for administrative fees).

Let’s get this over with, people.

„Es wäre der Anfang vom Ende der Eurozone.“ Tsipras warnte, dass die Kosten für die europäischen Steuerzahler enorm seien.

This Is Like Work Or Something

June 8, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Clowns, Demonstration, Demonstrators, Elmau, G7, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Protestors, Satire Leave a comment

Exhausted from all of the political activism activity anti-G7 political activists have been expected to do already, bone-weary protestors are now leaving the G7 conference in droves before someone asks them to get even more politically active than they already have been.

“Like, I had to sit-in for over two full hours yesterday and hold up this stupid sign the whole time, too,” said one disillusioned demonstrator, his red cardboard nose still being sweat upon profusely. “OK, sure, after having slept-in twelve hours after that party the night before first, but still. If I had known this was going to be work I would never have left Berlin to come down here in the first place. These are like Manchester capitalist sweatshop demonstrating conditions! I’m outta here.”

“You know, all of this, it’s exhausting.”

I Got Your FIFA For You Right Here

June 5, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: 2006 World Cup, Blatter, Corruption, FIFA, Football, Gerhard Schröder, German, Germans, Germany, Soccer, Sports 1 Comment

The German government sent a shipment of rocket-propelled grenades to Saudi Arabia in order to secure support for their bid to host the 2006 World Cup, according to the latest sensational claims in the FIFA scandal.

German newspaper Die Zeit say the country’s Football Association arranged for then Chancellor Gerhard Schroder’s administration to supply the arms in order to swing the Saudi vote from Morocco to Germany ahead of the vote in 2000.

Die Regierung von Gerhard Schröder beschloss eine Woche vor der WM-Vergabe die Lieferung von Panzerfäusten an Saudi-Arabien. Deutschland habe “kurzfristig das Waffenembargo aufgehoben”, sagte Guido Tognoni, damals Fifa-Mitarbeiter, später.

Stop TTIP! Save The Climate! Fight Poverty!

June 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Demonstrations, Elmau, G7, Protest 1 Comment

And while you’re at it down there, folks… Faster horses! Younger women! Older whiskey! And more money!

It’s time to gear up for G7 demonstration time. Jeepers creepers. This is going to be like Blockupy, Burning Man and Woodstock all rolled up into one! And to really give that special psychedelic touch, let’s do it in German.

The main demonstration was due to kick off at 1200 GMT in the state capital Munich, around 100 kilometres (60 miles) north of the Alpine venue where Chancellor Angela Merkel is to welcome leaders from the club of rich nations from Sunday.

Stop G7 Elmau!

Redistribution Is Da Solution (Again)

June 3, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Builders, Germans, Germany, Government Control, Housing, Interventionism, Landlords, Regulation, Rent Control, Renters 6 Comments

The next step backwards: Berlin has a new law prohibiting landlords from demanding rents that are more than 10 percent higher than the area average, in an attempt to keep housing affordable in a city that’s attracting 50,000 new residents a year. The rule relies on a disputed index — known as the Mietspiegel — that critics say is a statistical crapshoot.

“The rent brake is essentially a transfer of wealth from landlords to tenants. Berlin will become less of a destination for international investors because capital doesn’t like to be constrained.”

Meet The New Level Of Contempt

June 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anti-Americanism, Gerhard Schroeder, German, Germans, Germany, SPD 3 Comments

Same as the old level of contempt. This guy means well with his article and all, I guess, but he’s way off base if he thinks that Germany’s current level of anti-Americanism has only now “become a fungible (freely exchangeable or replaceable) aspect of German politics” all of a sudden. It’s never been any different here.

The only thing really new might be the “deep institutionalization” of it, as former US ambassador to Germany, John Kornblum, put it. And that began with the German Social Democrat chancellor Gerhard Schröder “who combined a refusal to send German troops to Iraq with a promise of Germany’s ’emancipation’ from America” and who cashed in big time on that with his reelection.

But it ain’t no big deal. That’s just the way the world works, folks. And it’s not that the Germans take this stuff in with their mother’s milk. It’s more like they’re fish when it comes to their anti-Americanism. I mean, does a fish even know that it’s swimming in water?

“Anti-Americanism today is a cheap means to a new German nationalism with a good conscience.”

PS (my progressive American types): Have you noticed here that it doesn’t matter even when you have HIM HIMSELF (The World President) as president? Is the light starting to go on yet?

Bundeswehr To Become Even More Effeminate

May 31, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, High Art, Home Cooking, Hotness, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Armies, Bundeswehr, Combat, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, Quotas, Satire, Ursula von der Leyen, Women Leave a comment

Who would have thought that? Only eleven percent of German troops are currently women. This must change, of course.

German Defense Minister Ursula von der Leyen, herself one of the eleven percent, has decided that in the medium-term, the percentage of women currently not doing anything that other soldiers in other armies do (some call it combat) must be increased to 20 percent.

The reason behind this appears to be that by effectively reducing the combat strength of an army, this will effectively increase the combat strength of an army. Not your own army or anything, but still.

The inglorious Bundeswehr: The German army was never meant to function on its own. Now it barely functions at all.

Elf Prozent der Truppe ist derzeit weiblich. Verteidigungsministerin Ursula von der Leyen will diesen Wert verbessern und ruft ein neues Ziel aus: “Auf mittlere Sicht” soll der Frauenanteil auf 20 Prozent steigen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hypocrisy