Next Misleading Berlin Wall Comparison Just In!

This happens regularly, of course. The cool thing about this particular one is that it comes from the mayor of Berlin himself.

Berlin Wall

Michael Müller (SPD), apparently not all too familiar with the history of his own city, has implied through a message he sent to President Trump on Friday that the wall he is planning to build on Mexico’s border is somehow comparable to the infamous one that divided Berlin for decades. “Divisive?” Certainly. Most walls are divisive, as far as I know. Otherwise they wouldn’t call them walls.

But what Müller and others bend over backwards to ignore here is that the one in Berlin was built to keep people “in.” You know, like a prison wall? The planned Trump wall, however, is being built to keep people “out.”

Now I understand that I am being an annoying stickler for details here but one really ought to consider this from time to time. Before the next misleading comparison comes over the wires, I mean. Because you’ll be hearing them regularly, like I say.

“Berlin — the city which stands for the separation of Europe as well as the freedom of Europe — cannot watch silently as another country plans to build a wall,”

Germany To Build Autobahn And Let Austria Pay For It

Outraged by years of illegal foreign automobile immigration into their country, irate German politicians have now announced the introduction of road tolls that purposely aim to discriminate against these foreign drivers. The money taken in here will then be used to build yet another autobahn to, uh, keep them out or something.

Foreigner

As one irate Berlin government spokesman noted: “We will build a great autobahn, and nobody builds autobahns better than us, believe me, and we’ll build it very inexpensively. We will build a great great autobahn on our southern border and we’ll have Austria pay for that autobahn.”

Furious and really, really pissed off, the Austrian prime minister has now cancelled a visit with chancellor Merkel planned for next week and Austrian companies have begun launching a series of boycotts of German companies.

Austrian Transport Minister Joerg Leichtfried on Wednesday said he was discussing with other countries whether to file a joint complaint against Germany’s proposed Autobahn toll, which he said violated the EU’s “principle of equal treatment”.

Der Aufstand gegen die Pkw-Maut beginnt

Who Am I? Where Am I? And Why Am I Reading This?

My fellow Americans: We have lost our identity. Again already, or something. Or at least that’s what I just read down here.

Amerika

But luckily for us, the folks over at Spiegel Online are going to give our identities back to us. Only this being Germany, and Germany being Germany, and what with Datenschutz (data protection) and all, we will have to properly identify ourselves first, of course (unless we’re Syrian refugees from North Africa, I mean, but we’re not, we’re Mericans). So… Wait a minute. How the hell is this supposed to work anyway?

Reporter Holger Stark spent the past four years as DER SPIEGEL’s Washington correspondent during a time in which the country changed radically enough to elect Donald Trump as its president. What led this once mighty nation into decline?

Megalomania & Small-Mindedness – How America Lost Its Identity

PS: Just read it, folks. They’re only trying to help us. This is NOT fake news, by the way, so don’t even THINK of looking for any alternative facts.

What Does Reality Have To Do With Anything?

We Germans don’t care that “Germany isn’t an ideal place for solar and wind power.” We’re green. And we’re going to stay green and pay green (one of the highest electricity rates in the developed world) until we’re green in the face.

Green

Once, German utilities like E.on and RWE had a sound business model that produced cheap energy from nuclear factories. That’s how the two companies could be kind to investors, workers, and taxpayers…

Then the green revolution caught up with the utility sector, as German government decided to abandon nuclear for green energy. “In the aftermath of the Fukushima catastrophe, the German government (Angela Merkel) has resorted to an overhasted exit from nuclear energy until 2022,” explains investment analyst Martin Burdenski. “This decision was in stark contrast to a lifetime extension of existing nuclear plants in 2010…”

“The companies will now receive compensation for investments made between the lifetime extension in fall 2010 and the abandonment of nuclear energy in 2011.”

Nervous Germans More Nervous Than Usual For Some Reason

I haven’t been able to decrypt this Deutsche Welle article yet but at least there aren’t that many words in it.

Trump

Here are most of them: Disbelief… bad dream… cold sweat… irritation… extremely alarming… dangerous… help of fake news… populist… irrational… awful phantom… concerned… not been very convincing… catastrophic mistake… contempt… inauguration.

“There are no signs showing that it will be good.”

German Of The Day: Stiff Upper Lippe

That means stiff upper lip.

Trump

And that’s what meany Berlin politician types are struggling with to keep up after Donald Trump’s latest bizarre attacks against Germany, the EU and NATO.

In trying to console themselves, however, many German stiff-upper-lippers remind the rest of us that Donald Trump is also against the UN, the CIA, the FBI, AC/DC, TCP/IP and even LSD itself, to name just a few. Although the LSD…

With a stiff upper lip, Steffen Seibert instead pledged that Berlin would “co-operate closely” with the Trump administration.

Leading German Fake News Provider Upset That News It Calls Real Now Being Called Fake By Others

Aghast (along with CNN) at allegations by President-elect Donald Trump that the fake news they and other major fake news purveyors regularly claim to be real is actually fake, German fake news provider Der Spiegel now claims that the President-elect’s allegations are “like totally fake already.”

Fake

“He can’t be serious, can he? Let’s get real here, people,” said one empörter (indignant) journalist in Hamburg. “He’s faking it. And I know a fake when I see one. That’s my job. And I mean that. For real.”

Fake News ist für manche die unbelastete Variante von “Lügenpresse” und ein bequemes Schlagwort für alles Neue, was einem nicht in den Kram passt. Auch in Deutschland findet das Nachahmer bei jenen, die die von ihnen sogenannten Mainstream-Medien ins Visier genommen haben.

Germans Worried American Tanks Could Be Dangerous

The “risky roadshow” now rolling across Germany toward Poland could be, I dunno, an “embodiment of the United States’ commitment to deterring aggression and defending our European Allies and partners” or something.

Tanks

And who could possibly want that?

Some 3,500 troops from the 4th Infantry Division in Fort Carson, Colorado, will join up with the equipment, which includes 87 tanks and 144 Bradley fighting vehicles, over the next two weeks… The new forces will gather first in Poland, then fan out across seven countries from Estonia to Bulgaria. A headquarters unit will be stationed in Germany.

Bedrohliche Musik, Bilder bewaffneter Milizionäre in der Ukraine, Karten eines sich nach Westen ausbreitenden Russlands: Die US-Armee in Europa hat auf ihrer Website ein Video über ihre Operation “Atlantic Resolve” (“Atlantische Entschlossenheit”) veröffentlicht: Die Botschaft: Nach der Besetzung der Krim und der Destabilisierung der Ostukraine könnte Russlands nächstes Opfer ein EU-Land sein, weshalb die US-Armee Europa zur Hilfe eilt.

German Communities To Expand Use Of So-Called “Cameras”

Apparently as a reaction to the latest outcry for better public TV programing, many German municipalities are now suddenly calling for the more wide-spread installation of so-called closed-circuit television “cameras” to offer their captive audiences a more interactive and rewarding viewing experience.

Cameras

They are also calling for a more realistic reevaluation and better treatment methods for the German obsessive-compulsive disorder commonly referred to as “Datenschutz” here, although what that has to do with better public television programming remains unclear to the author as of this writing.

“Derzeit wird in Deutschland vieles, was möglich wäre, mit Hinweis auf den Datenschutz verhindert.”

Our Fake News Is The Real Fake News

You know, just like our facts are the only facts that count? So don’t even THINK about muscling in on our territory, Facebook and Co.

Fake

EU Parliament President Martin Schulz (SPD) and Germany’s Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) both came out swinging against fake news on Sunday.

In separate press interviews, the two German politicians discussed concrete plans to create laws banning platforms like Facebook from spreading fabricated stories presented as real news, something both men saw as harmful to democracy.

Thank goodness somebody is getting active on this, is all I can say. You need to understand that German state fake news providers not only have the responsibility of upholding the government party line, they must also ensure that those who are forced to finance official fake news production get the very most for their money. The money that isn’t theirs anymore, I mean.