Berlin’s New SPD 2.0

December 12, 2016 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Horror, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

They’re going to call it the Sharia Party Deutschland now.

SPD

The State Secretary for the Berlin Government, Sawsan Chebli (SPD), defended Islamic law saying it can exist alongside Germany’s Basic Law because it ‘largely regulates the relationship between God and man’…

Last week Berlin Mayor Michael Müller announced a new government consisting of a coalition of Social-Democrats, Greens and the left-wing Die Linke party that will rule Germany’s capital city.

Das Bild von der erfolgreichen Migrantin hat Risse.

Our Facts Are The Facts

December 11, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Post-factual world or not. And our truth is the truth, too. That’s how everybody else in the world out there – like us – sees it, right?

Facts

So truth be told, the fact is that, well, it is what we tell you it is, regardless of how you feel about it. So stop getting all emotional about things and just accept our facts as the truth and vice versa and, like, go with the flow already. Your eyelids are now getting heavy, by the way. Very heavy. You can only resist for so long. Honest. It’s a fact.

Asked about the rape-murder of a German student allegedly committed by a teenage Afghan asylum seeker and the recent arrest of a 31-year-old Iraqi asylum seeker over the sexual assaults of two Chinese students, Merkel urged Germans to stick to the known facts.

German Of The Day/Year: Postfaktisch

December 9, 2016 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means post-factual – and has just been selected Germany’s word of the year 2016.

Postfaktisch

“This awkward adjective describes the development in which public debates are defined more and more by temperament and feelings than by facts. This may not be a term used in everyday speech, the experts admit, but crucial here is that it reflects central events that have taken place this year – from Brexit to Trump.”

Das sperrige Adjektiv beschreibt die Entwicklung, dass öffentliche Debatten zunehmend von Stimmungen und Gefühlen und weniger von Fakten bestimmt werden. Dies sei zwar kein Begriff aus der Alltagssprache, räumen die Experten ein. Entscheidend sei jedoch, dass er zentrale Ereignisse des Jahres widerspiegele – von Brexit bis Trump.

Russia Trying To Destabilize Germany But Germany Still Way Better

December 8, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germans were shocked upon learning today that Russia is trying to destabilize German society with propaganda and cyber attacks ahead of next year’s general election, many fearing that the unwanted foreign competition could stifle their own government’s efforts to do the same.

Russia

“The Russians should mind their own damned business and concentrate on destabilizing their own society,” one irate commentator said. “We have the will, the means, the experience and the elected and non-elected officials to do so on our own, thank you. And we’re talking ‘made in Germany’ quality here, people. So go take a flying leap at a rolling pirozhki already.”

The warning was the bluntest public claim yet from Germany’s BfV agency about Moscow’s alleged campaign of disinformation and hacking targeting Europe’s biggest economy.

At Least They Got The Dominatrix Part Right

December 7, 2016 By in Higher Education, Humor Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

I love Conan O’Brien. But I have to agree with this article here that his show didn’t seem to get much right during his trip to Berlin (to be aired tonight). When it comes to Berlin, I mean.

Dominatrix

The US comedian came to Berlin in the summer to shoot material for an on-the-road version of his show. Word has it he visited some of the capital’s grungier clubs and generally took in the city’s alternative scene. So why to God does the teaser to his show involve him dancing in lederhosen to the music of a moustachioed accordion player? It is about as accurate as a German going to Honolulu and filming himself line dancing in cowboy garb.

“Me going to a dominatrix seemed like it would be compelling. And it turned out to be even more compelling because she didn’t treat it like a joke! She wanted to put things inside of me and do things to me, and I kept trying to stop her but keep it on the line where it would still be comedic but not break my marital vows.”

German Of The Day: Angemessen

December 6, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

That means appropriate or suitable.

Angemessen

You know, like the appropriate or suitable compensation that the German government will now how to  pay to  the power companies it expropriated after the infamous (and ongoing) Fukushima Panic Attack of 2011?

Of course what this appropriate or suitable compensation will actually end up being once the non-atomic dust settles is quite another matter. Something tells me it’s going to be a whole lot. Hey, nichts ist umsonst. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

SPD-Vize Stegner gibt Merkel Schuld für Milliardenentschädigung.

Meet The New Crisis

December 5, 2016 By in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Same as the old crisis. So like what, me worry?

Crisis

“I think there is no need to talk about a euro crisis,” German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble said after Italian voters defeated the referendum on constitutional amendments. “I think we should see the situation in Italy with a certain calmness. That is how democratic and constitutional processes work in the member states. The Italians have decided, that is to be respected. They will make the best of it.”

I admire his serenity (Greece, Brexit, Italy…). And I’d also like to know what kind of tranquilizers this guy is on.

Die Lage in Italien heute besser als vor zwei Jahren.

Just Reach Out To Refugees

December 4, 2016 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Fearless Leader says. Before they reach out to you, I guess she means.

Rape

Yes, this is one isolated case. Albeit one particularly disgusting one. And one which the growing hordes of “deplorable” Germans out here now perceive as being among an ever-increasing number of them. This is also one that will be hard for the state media channels to ignore. So it will be interesting to see how they will manage to ignore it anyway (you have to read a bit further before finding “the suspect reportedly came from Afghanistan as an unaccompanied refugee” here,  for instance).

Die Medizinstudentin war auf ihrem Fahrrad auf dem Rückweg von einer Studentenparty, als sie am Ufer der Dreisam vergewaltigt und getötet wurde. Als Todesursache stellte die Polizei Ertrinken fest.