Leftest Violence Still As Harmless As Ever

February 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Arson, Berlin, Crime, Gentrification, German, Germans, Germany, Language, The Left, Vandalism, Violence Leave a comment

Ah Berlin. I love the smell of barbecue ignition chemicals in the morning.

In the past seven days, the extremists proved true to their claim, starting what could be the most destructive single anti-gentrification action any city in Europe has yet seen. On Saturday, a gang of 40 masked vandals smashed up 28 cars in the area near central Potsdamer Platz, leaving some of them in flames. Attacks continued the following night in the southwestern district of Neukolln, when at least 20 more cars were damaged and shop windows smashed in.

But don’t worry, folks. The Deutsche Welle reassures us that in the wake of two spates of property damage by extremists in Berlin, some news outlets and politicians have warned of a rise in “leftist violence.” But the long-term stats do not bear this out.

Well if it’s only a protest against gentrification, then alles klar (say no more). Why didn’t you say so in the first place? We thought it had something to do with property rights, respect for the law and senseless violence and vandalism again.

The vandals’ weapon of choice is a disposable tinfoil barbecue set of a sort that many German stores sell for use as summer grills in the park.

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

February 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Anxiety, Crime, Fear, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Gun control, Guns, Insecurity, Political Parties, Refugees, Self-Defense, Terror, Weapons 2 Comments

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

German Of The Day: Antanzdiebstahl

January 24, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Migrants, Pickpockets, Refugees, Thieves Leave a comment

Antanzan = to “dance” up, as in to show up, make an appearance. Diebstahl = theft or robbery.

Antanzen + Diebstahl = Antanzdiebstahl. This new German word refers to a new method of pickpocket robbery that certain new arrival-types to Germany are now using all across the country, “a type of con in which thieves approach victims and hug or otherwise surprise them, with the aim of distracting them in order to pick their pockets.”

Sex attacks and thefts like the ones that happened in Cologne on New Year’s Eve were also reported in 12 other German states, German media say. The information comes from a leaked report of the federal criminal police.

Back To The Zukunft

January 19, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hi-tech, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Baader-Meinhof, Back to the Future, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, RAF, Robberies, Terror, Terrorists 1 Comment

Is this for real, folks? Did they just pop through some 70s wormhole to wreak havoc in our own current space time continuum (assuming there is such a thing as a current one)?

DNA samples tell us that RAF terrorists (?) retro-terrorized us last June while attempting an armed robbery but we didn’t even notice it because, well, like what were they going to be? RAF terrorists or something? Besides, they botched it.

What is this? I mean, their pictures are still in black and white for crying out loud.

One thing is for certain, though: They did not get away in a DeLorean. They were using a Ford Focus. At least the cops know now that they didn’t get very far. That is definitely one “no future” automobile.

The three fled the scene – a supermarket car park in Gross Mackenstedt – in a Ford Focus, having failed to grab the cash that was inside the van. The two security men inside were unhurt.

Milo M.

January 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hotness Tags: Cologne, Crime, Milo Moiré, Sexual Assault 1 Comment

Beautiful German of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

OK, she’s Swiss. But still.

New Year’s Eve Offenders Apparently Sold Stolen Cell Phones To Refugees

January 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Refugees, Satire 2 Comments

Spiegel Online reports that investigators in Cologne have gotten a fix on several of the cell phones stolen by the perpetrators of the sexual assault and robery attacks committed against hundreds of women on New Year’s Eve.

The puzzling thing here, said investigators say, is that these phones have all been traced to refugee centers or the immediate vicinities thereof.

It is unclear for the moment just how the offenders were able to sell the cell phones to these unsuspecting refugees so quickly and why they were so unfairly singled out as a target group but a task force led by Benedict Cumberbatch has just been airlifted in to clear up this inexplicable mystery in what we hope will be no time. Or at least pronto.

Inzwischen konnten einige in der Silvesternacht gestohlene Handys geortet werden. In manchen Fällen führte deren Spur in Flüchtlingsheime oder deren unmittelbares Umfeld.

German Of The Day: Kultureller Austausch

January 7, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Cologne, Crime, Gangs, New Year's Eve, Police, Refugees, Reports, Sexual Assault 2 Comments

That means cultural exchange. You know, like the one that took place in Cologne on New Year’s Eve (not to mention in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Bielefeld, etc.)?

Here are a few examples of the mindset of some of the young men who participated in the festivities that night (in a report filed by the Cologne police):

After being confronted by the cops, one guy said “I’m a Syrian. You have to be friendly to me! Frau Merkel invited me.”

Another guy, after ripping up his residence permit in front of another cop, said “You can’t do anything about it. I’ll just get a new one tomorrow.”

Police trying to help some of the victims were held back by some of these men, others refused to leave the area after the police ordered them to do so, witnesses were threatened if they dared to identify any of them doing the harassment… You know, stuff like that. Nothing for anybody to get all hot and bothered about.

Der Verfasser des Berichts zieht ein düsteres Fazit: Den Maßnahmen der Beamten sei mit einer Respektlosigkeit gegegnet worden, “wie ich sie in 29 Dienstjahren noch nicht erlebt habe.”

If It Looks Like Dog !%#, And Smells Like Dog !%#, Then…

January 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg, New Year's Eve, Refugees, Robbery, Sexual Assault 3 Comments

It’s still not allowed to be called dog !%#*.

Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here. And this has absolutely positively nothing at all to do with Germany’s WAY out of control open-arms refugee policy. So don’t even bring that up.

German officials sought to reassure the public on Tuesday after scores of women reported being sexually assaulted and robbed by what witnesses described as large groups of Middle Eastern-looking men during the New Year celebrations.

While security officials said it was unclear whether the perpetrators were recently arrived migrants, the assault reports are feeding into a simmering debate about the impact of the more-than 1 million refugees who arrived in the country last year, mainly from the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa.

It’s A Cultural Thing

December 2, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness Tags: Crime, Culture, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Murder, Religion 5 Comments

Pakistani-German couple in Darmstadt sentenced to life for killing their daughter

A Pakistani-German couple has been convicted of killing their daughter on religious grounds after she slept with her boyfriend. The teenager was strangled and dumped in a nearby forest.

In case you didn’t know, this kind of thing is referred to as an “honor” killing.

And by the way, there is no such thing as a life sentence in Germany. Life means fifteen years here.

Lawyers for the defense argued that despite being in Germany for twenty-eight years, the husband was “not properly socialized” in German culture and his wife “had nothing to do with the normal world.”

In My Country We Call Them Coyotajes

November 4, 2015 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Lebanon, Migrants, Refugees, Smuggling, Syria Leave a comment

Coyotes, actually. Here they’re called Schleuser, which sounds a lot worse.

So like what? Real world stuff can happen in Germany now, too? Maybe it’s time for me to move on to El Paso.

German authorities staged raids across three states against an international people-smuggling network, netting its suspected mastermind as well as a weapons cache, police and prosecutors said.

As Germany faces the biggest migrant influx since World War II, nearly 600 officers were deployed as part of the dawn swoop, the prosecutor’s office in the northern city of Hildesheim and police in nearby Hanover said…

They offered their services mainly to Syrians and Lebanese flying to Germany to pass through border checks with counterfeit documents.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Crime