The Magical Misery Tour

January 14, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Buses, Busing, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Landshut, Migrants, Peter Dreier, Refugees 3 Comments

Maybe Angela Merkel can do it, but this Bavarian politician dude down below can’t. He’s mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore.

And do not, he repeats, do not return to sender.

A bus carrying 31 Syrian refugees is on the way from southern Germany to Berlin, as a Bavarian district councilor followed up on his pledge to German Chancellor Angela Merkel he’d send refugees her way if his district could no longer provide accommodation for them.

Landshut district councilor Peter Dreier said Thursday he wants to “send a sign that refugee policy cannot continue like this.”

“If Germany takes in a million refugees, that means my district will take in a share of 1,800. I will take them. But any more [refugees] I’ll send by bus to your office in Berlin.”

No Evidence Here

January 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Istanbul, Terror, Terrorism, Turkey 5 Comments

That the Istanbul attacker targeted Germans, we read in the Deutsche Welle.

Sure all ten killed were German but that was absolutely positively a pure coincidence so don’t even go there thinking ridiculous and panicky thoughts like that, German Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere tells his countrymen.

This isn’t an attack against Germany (in Turkey). It’s “an attack against humanity,” he says. So Germans shouldn’t feel threatened in that case. Or I guess that’s what he means by that.

“I see no reason to refrain from trips to Turkey.”

Once You Go Black, You Never Go Back

January 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate Tags: Germans, Germany, ISIS, Istanbul, Terror, Terrorism Leave a comment

They’re out to get you now, too, Germany.

Finally, A German Non-Word Of The Year For The Rest Of Us

January 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Language, Non-Words, Unwort des Jahres, Word Of The Year, Words 1 Comment

Please, someone please have this 2015 winner introduced into the English language ASAP, please (did I say please?): Gutmensch.

A Gutmensch is a do-gooder or a starry-eyed idealist. Or the term can also be seen as a blanket reproach for being “naive, dumb and worldly innocent, or being someone suffering from helper syndrome or moral imperialism.”

Or if you want a more concrete example of what this kind of non-word ailment can lead to, take a look at what’s going in in Germany right now. That’s right. The Gutmenschen are behind all of this.

Wer Gutmensch sagt, verdient sich seinen Shitstorm.

The Recklinghausen Connection

January 10, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Asylum Seekers, Films, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Language, Movies, Paris, Refugees, Terror, Terrorism, The French Connection 1 Comment

No, not staring Gene Hackman. This thriller stars an asylum-seeker French police killed as he tried to storm a Paris police station last week.

This guy was registered at a German asylum center in the city of Recklinghausen, had a phone with a German SIM card and carried a paper on him in which he pledged allegiance to the leader of the Islamic State. He had also been registered under four different names in Germany.

I don’t think that’s fair. That a poor refugee gets welcomed to Germany four times like that, I mean. Then there are fewer welcomes left to go around for the next wave of folks that comes in. And the next, and the next…

Der Mann posierte in seiner nordrhein-westfälischen Flüchtlingsunterkunft mit einer IS-Fahne. Die Landesbehörden stuften ihn demnach als Verdachtsfall ein, doch im Dezember 2015 verschwand er spurlos aus Recklinghausen.

PS: There’s this German turn of speech I really like: Ich glaub ich bin im schlechten Film. That means I think I’m in a bad movie. I’ve been hearing it more and more these days, too, for some reason.

New Year’s Eve Offenders Apparently Sold Stolen Cell Phones To Refugees

January 8, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Refugees, Satire 2 Comments

Spiegel Online reports that investigators in Cologne have gotten a fix on several of the cell phones stolen by the perpetrators of the sexual assault and robery attacks committed against hundreds of women on New Year’s Eve.

The puzzling thing here, said investigators say, is that these phones have all been traced to refugee centers or the immediate vicinities thereof.

It is unclear for the moment just how the offenders were able to sell the cell phones to these unsuspecting refugees so quickly and why they were so unfairly singled out as a target group but a task force led by Benedict Cumberbatch has just been airlifted in to clear up this inexplicable mystery in what we hope will be no time. Or at least pronto.

Inzwischen konnten einige in der Silvesternacht gestohlene Handys geortet werden. In manchen Fällen führte deren Spur in Flüchtlingsheime oder deren unmittelbares Umfeld.

If The Lawsuit Fits, Wear it

January 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Dieselgate, Emissions, German, Germans, Germany, Lawsuits, VW 2 Comments

I’ve got your unresolved emissions issues for you right here, pal.

But what’s $48 billion to Volkswagen? Wait a minute. Actually, wow. That’s quite a bit.

Remember when Germans used to be greener than green?

Although such U.S. lawsuits are typically settled at a fraction of the theoretical maximum penalty, analysts said the size of the claim meant Volkswagen (VW) could face a larger bill than previously anticipated.

If It Looks Like Dog !%#, And Smells Like Dog !%#, Then…

January 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cologne, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Hamburg, New Year's Eve, Refugees, Robbery, Sexual Assault 3 Comments

It’s still not allowed to be called dog !%#*.

Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here. And this has absolutely positively nothing at all to do with Germany’s WAY out of control open-arms refugee policy. So don’t even bring that up.

German officials sought to reassure the public on Tuesday after scores of women reported being sexually assaulted and robbed by what witnesses described as large groups of Middle Eastern-looking men during the New Year celebrations.

While security officials said it was unclear whether the perpetrators were recently arrived migrants, the assault reports are feeding into a simmering debate about the impact of the more-than 1 million refugees who arrived in the country last year, mainly from the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa.

German Of The Day: Wutbürger

January 3, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: AfD, Elections, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Language, Merkel, Migrants, Political Parties, Refugees Leave a comment

That means outraged citizens. And although they’ve always been around (Germans are always empört/outraged about something), Angela Merkel’s ongoing open-arms refugee policy seems to be generating more and more of them all the time.

And whoopee! 2016 just happens to be a big regional election year. Unless things start to change real fast (ha, ha, ha), I wonder who’s going to be getting all these votes? Not.

Originally founded as a eurosceptic movement a few years ago, the party Alternative for Germany (AfD) came close to its demise – until it split in two. Now, it has experienced a surge in public opinion. Euroscepticism is barely mentioned any more; the new party is acting as an anti-refugee party. If elections were to take place today, the AfD would probably enter parliament with a double-digit election result.

Evil US-Amerikan-NSA-CIA-Creeps Still Invading German Privacy (Along With Their French Counterparts)

January 1, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech Tags: Bombings, Espionage, German, Germans, Germany, ISIS, Munich, Terror, Terrorists Leave a comment

And kept the new year from starting off with a bang in Munich.

“According to information obtained by the ZEIT the warning was also based upon information that came out of the USA. The French authorities were then of the opinion that these warnings fit the information they themselves had gathered.”

Nach Informationen der ZEIT beruht die Warnung auch auf Informationen, die aus den USA kamen. Die französischen Behörden seien demnach der Ansicht gewesen, dass diese Warnungen zu Informationen passten, von denen sie selbst gehört hätten.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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