German of the day: Asyl-Magnet

That means asylum magnet.

As in “Asylum magnet Germany. This is why everybody wants to come here.

For one thing, Germany practically never deports anyone. More than 300,000 foreigners who are obliged to leave the country are still here. And “the word is out.”

Then you also get paid once you get here. You get free healthcare and a free place to live. What’s not to like? Unless you’re a German taxpayer who gets nothing, nothing other than the next tax increase and unaffordable rents, if she can find a place to rent at all.

Here are the current asylum seeker salaries now available throughtout Europe:

Come “visit” Germany today!

German of the day: alles bestens

That means everything is fine, cool, hunky-dory.

Falling industrial output for three straight months ain’t no big deal, says German Green Vice Chancellor Robert Habeck. And “not everything is bad,” he added. Wow. That’s actually unbridled optimism for a Green.

Habeck defends German economy as output drops – Vice Chancellor Robert Habeck said Germany remains a “highly attractive location” for investors. But the statistics agency said industrial output fell for a third straight month, and that wasn’t the only negative news.

German of the day: Unschlagbar

That means unbeatable.

Like Germany itself. Germany is unbeatable when it comes to beating Germany. Take German bureaucracy, for example. Please.

Germany is becoming expert at defeating itself – Bureaucracy and strategic blunders are starting to pile up.

In “the twelve tasks of asterix”, an animated film from 1976, one of the feats the diminutive Gaul must perform is to secure a government permit. To do so he must visit a vast office called The Place That Sends You Mad. In a recent open letter Wolfram Axthelm, the head of the German Wind Energy Association, likened modern Germany’s infuriating bureaucracy to Asterix’s challenge. A particular gripe was the 150-odd permits demanded by Autobahn GmbH, a state-owned firm that runs Germany’s vaunted motorways, for transporting outsize components of wind turbines, such as blades. Between byzantine rules on load dimensions, faulty software, perennial roadworks and a lack of personnel to process complaints, a backlog of some 20,000 applications has built up. A company that recently trucked a turbine from the port of Bremen to a site in the northern state of Schleswig-Holstein found that although the distance is barely 100km (62 miles), road restrictions made the journey five times that long…

German of the day: Gestrandet

That means stranded. You know, like your govenment after a few of your wacky Green policies?

Or like your govenment plane that won’t fly any more?

Some call her Annalena of Arabia.

Breakdown on government jet – Baerbock stranded in Abu Dhabi. There is a mechanical problem with the plane carrying the foreign minister – shortly after a stopover it had to land again. The Foreign Office reports that the trip will be continued in the evening.

German of the day: Wildschwein

That means lion or lioness.

Until it means wild boar or wild bore.

Escaped ‘lioness’ in Berlin was most likely a wild boar, mayor says – Experts reach conclusion after analysing video that had triggered the original search.

The sound of a lion roaring in the Zehlendorf district inside Berlin’s borders turned out to have been played through bluetooth speakers by a group of teenagers…

It’s not a slowdown…

It’s more like a Vollbremsung. That’s German for full braking or emergency stop.

Germany’s highest court just cancelled the Green’s latest rush-rush trick, I mean plan to save the planet at German taxpayers’ expense.

Germany’s Green Slowdown – While voters may still broadly support net zero goals, they’re not necessarily on board with the escalating costs of the transition.

… Today, it’s the Greens’ proposed ban on new gas boilers in homes that’s causing trouble. Against a backdrop of sliding poll ratings, the party’s partners in the coalition forced a dilution of the plan last month in a package that also included a massive road-building program.

In another blow to the policy — dubbed Habeck’s Heating Hammer by the opposition — Germany’s constitutional court has made a highly unusual intervention in the legislative process and ordered the government to give parliament more time to scrutinize the plan.

German Of The Day: Schrumpfen

That means to shrink.

You know. As in the Sick Man of Europe? The Incredible Shrinking (or was it Sinking) Country?

German Economy Shrinks Faster Than Expected – It’s a rare thing to happen, but Germany now looks like the sick man of Europe, a phrase previously often used to describe Britain.

The health of the business sector dropped significantly in June, according to recent data. The Ifo Business Climate index for Germany, which measures the health of the commercial sector, registered 88.5 in June, down from 91.5 in May. Higher numbers show economic strength, whereas lower ones show a weakening of the economy.

Speaking of sinking…

The Germans Can’t Talk About Biden

Even they can see what’s happening in US-Amerika right now and are in the deepest, strategic denial. So they gladly talk about (as in down) Trump instead. Or “Trump’s America.” That Evergreen (German for perennial hit) is always a guaranteed feel-good.

A Road Trip through Trump’s America – Former U.S. President Donald Trump is seeking another term in the White House. A trip through Republican-controlled states reveals just how radically America has already changed. Can the country survive a second Trump tenure?

Is America on the verge of a split? Or, even worse, a civil war? The question may sound rather hysterical, but the longer you travel through the country, the more pressing it becomes…

German Of The Day: “Unter Sich”

That means among each other. Like, you know, “Americans among each other?”

American tourist killed, another injured in attack near Germany’s Neuschwanstein castle, police say – Neuschwanstein was the inspiration for the castle in Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty.”

An American tourist was killed and another was injured when they were attacked by an American man they met near the famous Neuschwanstein castle in southern Germany, authorities said Thursday…

The man then “physically attacked” the younger woman, police said. When the other woman tried to intervene, the man choked her and pushed her down a steep slope. He then apparently attempted to sexually assault the 21-year-old before also pushing her down the slope. Both women fell nearly 50 meters (165 feet), according to police.

I’ve Seen German Men Do Lots Of Weird Things

But I’ve never seen one try to sit in one of these.

I’m calling fake news on this one.

Men shouldn’t stand to pee, but sit like Germans do, urologist says – A senior urologist claims that men should not urinate standing up but should instead sit down. Here, the Germans might have the right idea.

PS: Personally, I’ve heard nothing but disdain for men who sit when they piss, but maybe that’s just the questionable crowd I hang around with. See “sit pisser:” Sitzpisser = Sitzpinkler = Turnbeutelvergesser = Warmduscher = Nullschecker = Regenschirmmitdabeihaber…