Tag Archives: Satire
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Germans Not Overdoing It Again
Honest. With their anti-Islamization bzw. (and) anti-Pegida hysteria, I mean.
Not with Bagida.
Not with Bärgida.
Not with Hagida.
Not with Legida.
Not with Muegida.
Not with Mvgida.
Not with Öz-Gida.
Not with Schwegida.
Not even with Merkel-Ida herself, for crying out loud.
Maybe it’s time to like gida life already, people.
World Pain In The Butt
Why do Germans always have to pick out these fancy-dad-gum-new-fangled German words of the year like Lichtgrenze (light border or boundary) when they’ve already got a perfectly wunderbar selection of traditional German words of the year or at least I think they ought to be for crying out loud?
Weltschmerz (world pain), for instance, has to be one of my all time favorites because, well, it’s just about as moany, whiney, lamenty and Germany as you can possibly get.
Now available in the U. S. of Amerika for a limited time only! I hope.
Disillusioned? Has your initial idealism been ground into cynicism? Dismayed by discovering how things really work? There’s a term for what you’re suffering: Weltschmerz.
Günter Wallraff Foaming Around The Mouth Again
Still bitter about having lost his undercover job as a package deliverer I guess (he wasn’t used to actually having to work for a living) undercover undercover-journalist Günter “Undercover” Wallraff couldn’t help but have yet another fit about Amazon & Co. on German television last night.
Good timing or something. It’s strike season in Germany again (still?), as you know. Merry Christmas, Verdi!
But at least he didn’t just stop with Amazon, for once. Wallraff is also very, very angry at German consumers themselves for not purchasing their products where he wants them to (anywhere else but Amazon). Geez, he’s saying. It’s like if you just let people do whatever they want to do they’ll end up doing whatever it is they want to do. And where would that lead us to? That’s right, to where we are now.
His costumes really do rock, though. The one he was wearing last night (see above) was a little scary, though.
Wallraff kritisierte auch die Verbraucher: „Wir selber zerstören eigentlich gewachsene Struktur und wundern uns, irgendwann, dass das Leben so kalt und unpersönlich und trostlos geworden ist und Innenstädte veröden.“
You Better Watch Out
A base flying Santa? From the Park Inn Hotel on Alexanderplatz?
That creeps me out for some reason.
He sees you when you’re sleeping (in room 842)
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
German Tree Hugger Forcibly Removed After 130 Hours
From her tree. In a place called the Hambacher Forst. After occupying it in the name of tree love (a bad energy company wants to cut down the tree for bad energy purposes).
The traumatized tree refused to comment and is being treated for hug burns.
Mittels einer Hebebühne holten die Höhenkletterer der Polizei die Aktivistin gegen 11.30 Uhr von der Plattform, nahmen sie in Gewahrsam.
Grand Opening For Klaus Wowereit International Airport Now Planned For 2018
Planning for the big party has run into a number of problems and cost-overruns that have made the postponement necessary, party planners announced today.
At least the party’s delay coincides with the latest delay for the completion of Berlin’s not-so-new-anymore-soon-to-be-new airport. The only problem here now is that the building permit runs out in 2016.
Party Klaus himself could not be reached for comment but is sure to attend the party if still alive, albeit no longer as mayor and El Architect Grande of Berlin.
“I leave voluntarily and I am proud of my contribution to the positive development of this city.”
Why Germans Are Desperate To Ignore A Dangerous World?
Desperate? I think determined is the better word. Why? Because they can. And this is just what Germans do. It’s never been any different here (not in our lifetimes).
Imagine being born and raised in a place that is cut off from the rest of that yucky world “out there,” just like your parents before you. In an amusement park kind of way, I mean. You know, kind of like Disneyland? Only they call it Deutschland instead.
I spoke about the relative weakness of NATO, about the failures of European foreign policy, about Russia’s use of money and disinformation to divide Europe and the United States. The crowd and the other panelists nodded—and then almost immediately changed the subject. Instead of NATO, the German audience wanted to discuss genetically modified food and chickens washed in chlorinated water.
“When I think of politics I think about my neighborhood, street lights and construction permits.”
Germany Best Brand Ever!
I mean nation. Sorry, Germans. I mean country.
Germany knocks USA off Best Nation top spot after 5 years
At least according to something called the Anholt-GfK Roper Nation Brands Index, that is.
Hmmm. I smell a Ratte (rat). GfK stands for Gesellschaft für Konsumforschung (Society for Consumer Research) and is on organization located in a city called Nuremberg. In the best little country in the whole wide cotton-pickin’ world. Jiminy Crickets. Talk about your conflict of Interesse (interest).
Germans Being Assured That Bad Republicans Didn’t Actually Win
“Why the Democrats’ debacle isn’t really a victory for the Republicans,” the title of this here article goes, for instance.
I would have loved to have read what was surely the profound explanation for just how on earth that can possibly be but then that scary photo of that evil Republican lurking in the shadows wearing a black hat there caught my eye and I just had to click away real pronto-like before he could get the chance to draw me into a maelstrom of evil and villainy and consuming despair.
Die Republikaner feiern einen Erdrutschsieg im Senat. Doch der Machtwechsel wird an der Lähmung der US-Politik kaum etwas ändern.
Observing Hermann 