German Of The Day: Unproblematisch

That means problem-free or uncomplicated.

Exports

And that is what Germany’s economics minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) has to say about the significant rise in German arms exports. It’s problem-free. And totally uncomplicated.

He is the economics minister, after all. What could be more “economical” than increased arms sales? And you also need to know that this guy took office in 2013 promising to significantly restrict arms exports. So, well, there. At least his heart is in the right place.

SPD-Chef Gabriel hatte sein Amt Ende 2013 mit dem Versprechen angetreten, die Rüstungsexporte deutlich einzuschränken. Nun räumte er ein, dass seine Halbzeitbilanz „Licht und Schatten“ aufweise.

Speaking Of Construction Projects…

So just let me get this straight. After one year Egypt has opened a major expansion of the freakin’ Suez Canal, deepening the waterway and providing ships with a 22 mile channel parallel to it.

Suez

Meanwhile, in Berlin…

The non-working airport, Berlin Brandenburg International (some prefer to call it Klaus Wowereit International), should have started working three years ago. It may start working in two years’ time. No one knows.

The most important thing to remember is German efficiency – both the term and concept – exists in our English-speaking world but not in theirs. You never hear Germans talking about German efficiency. Anyone who lives in Berlin knows why… While Germany may have a system for everything, Berlin proves every day there’s no system for when the system fails.

Little Oskar Thinking Out Of The Box Again

Well known for his refreshing viewpoints, Mr. ex-SPD, ex-Left, ex-Bolshevist, ex-you-name-it Oskar Lafontaine himself has come up with a brilliant new idea to save Greece from its upcoming euro Grexit exit: Get rid of the euro first.

Oskar

Being the true radical thinker that he is, he seems to have devised a radical new European economic system by which goods or services are directly exchanged for other goods or services without having to use a medium of exchange like dirty, filthy, old (or in his case new) money. And the way things look right now, Greece will be the first country to get the chance to test this out in a big way.

“Der Euro ist ein Rückschritt im historischen Projekt der europäischen Integration. Der Euro ist schon gescheitert, wir dürfen uns da keinen Illusionen hingeben.”

Little Oskar Banging His Tin Drum Again

And still refusing to grow up. This is, after all, the failed SPD chancellor candidate who then somehow managed to go even further left and join the Left Party to fail big time there, too.

Fuck

He has these fits every now and then, folks. Ain’t no big deal. This time it looks like somebody opened a Facebook account for him (I bet it was his current wife, Rosa Luxemburg) and now that US-Amerika‘s latest defense minister Ashton Kutcher, I mean Carter, has come to the American sector itself he’s going hog wild in a big way (Oskar not Ashton). And speaking of which, how many freakin’ defense ministers have we had these past six or seven years anyways?

Carter having been sent to Germany by Warlord President of Naked Aggression George W. Bush himself, Oskar is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore and has lambasted this affront by calling to “fuck the US imperialism,” although it isn’t at all clear who he wants to have do this for him. And speaking of which, I meant the World President of Peace Obama HIMSELF himself, of course.

“The US war minister calls Europeans to stand up against Russian ‘aggression’ whereas the Europeans have all the more reason to stand up against US aggression.”

Attention for those of you who wear glasses: That loud drum-pounding of his can certainly be annoying and all but what you really have to watch out for are his glass-breaking screams.

Der US-Kriegsminister ruft die Europäer dazu auf, sich der russischen ‘Aggression’ entgegenzustellen. Dabei hätten die Europäer allen Grund, sich der Aggression der USA entgegenzustellen.”

Meet The New Level Of Contempt

Same as the old level of contempt. This guy means well with his article and all, I guess, but he’s way off base if he thinks that Germany’s current level of anti-Americanism has only now “become a fungible (freely exchangeable or replaceable) aspect of German politics” all of a sudden. It’s never been any different here.

Merkel

The only thing really new might be the “deep institutionalization” of it, as former US ambassador to Germany, John Kornblum, put it. And that began with the German Social Democrat chancellor Gerhard Schröder “who combined a refusal to send German troops to Iraq with a promise of Germany’s ’emancipation’ from America” and who cashed in big time on that with his reelection.

But it ain’t no big deal. That’s just the way the world works, folks. And it’s not that the Germans take this stuff in with their mother’s milk. It’s more like they’re fish when it comes to their anti-Americanism. I mean, does a fish even know that it’s swimming in water?

“Anti-Americanism today is a cheap means to a new German nationalism with a good conscience.”

PS (my progressive American types): Have you noticed here that it doesn’t matter even when you have HIM HIMSELF (The World President) as president? Is the light starting to go on yet?

Even When We Win We Lose

Or so it goes with SPD these days.

SPD

Germany’s Social Democrats, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s coalition partners, on Sunday suffered their worst-ever electoral setback in regional polls in Bremen, raising questions about party leader Sigmar Gabriel’s hopes of gaining ground nationally on Ms Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats.

So sehen Sieger aus (this is what winners look like):

FDP

In Bremen ändern 6,5 Prozent für die FDP nicht viel. Im Bund aber eröffnet ihre Wiedererweckung Gedankenspiele für die Wahl 2017.

It’s TTIP, All Right

It’s TTIP of your normal-everyday-hysterical-German-anti-American iceberg.

TTIP

“All this enters the debate, but it surprises me a bit that the resistance is so strong in a country like Germany, where the benefits will be the greatest.”

The most controversial element of TTIP is a plan to let companies have legal disputes with governments heard by supra-national tribunals, which campaigners say would undermine national sovereignty and favour big business.

The so-called investor-state dispute settlement, or ISDS, allows firms to sue national governments if they feel that local rulings — such as health and safety regulations — violate the trade deal and threaten their investments.

The courts are a critical issue for US negotiators, who underline that these types of panels have existed for decades and are already included in thousands of trade deals worldwide, including about 400 in Europe.

„Dabei ist es geradezu bizarr, dass die Debatte in Deutschland so aufgeheizt ist: Schließlich profitiert kein Land so stark von TTIP wie Deutschland.”

German Of The Day: Alleingang

An ancient German tradition, Alleingänge are when Germans, as Germans, go it alone.

TTIP

In this particular case it has to do with their Empörung (another traditional German word meaning indignation or outrage) about TTIP, a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Strangely, much like their hysterical reaction to Fukushima and subsequent Alleingang out of nuclear power, no one else in Europe really understands what their concern is all about.

These protestors aim to change that, however. Germany’s fellow Europeans, they feel, clearly do not seem to understand what this treaty is really about: It is a planned free trade deal between Europe and the United States. Hello? Is anyone home out there? A trade deal with the United States? As in US-Amerika?

“The U.S. push for world domination is unacceptable. Obama sends out drones to kill people and wins the Nobel peace prize. This has to stop.”

Please Come Back

We miss you. Or at least I do.

The FDP, the traditional king-maker in German politics, lost all of its seats in the national parliament in the 2013 election, leaving conservative Chancellor Angela Merkel little choice but to ally with the center-left Social Democrats. As part of their coalition pact, she also agreed to new laws, including a national minimum wage, that have angered business leaders…

An impromptu rant by Christian Lindner, the Free Democratic Party’s chairman, defending entrepreneurs and startup culture made it onto newspaper front pages here and became one of the most watched political speeches of recent months.

“If one succeeds, one ends up in the sights of the Social Democratic redistribution machinery and, if one fails, one can be sure of derision and mockery.”

Der FDP endlich Beine machen!

Red Friday

When Red Friday comes, I’m gonna dig myself a hole

Linke

Germany’s Left Party, descended from East Germany’s Communist SED in an unbroken line, now heads a “red-red-green” coalition government in Thuringia with boss Bodo Ramelow as the new state prime minister.

This truly is historic. No, not so much because the good folks at the Linke have gotten this far (Thuringia is about as East in East Germany as East in Germany can get). It’s historic because the good folks at the SPD (currently partners in the federal government‘s grand coalition) have proven that their promises to never-ever-ever-never work together with the Linke are now history.

If they could help the Left Party enough, the SPD wouldn’t hesitate to form a coalition at the national level with these people and now everybody in Germany knows it – who didn’t know it already, I mean.

Good News: Communists Are Back in Germany