Tag Archives: Sports

It’s Nobody’s Business

January 9, 2014 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

So why does he have to make it mine?

Gay

Honestly, what is being advanced here?

It must just be me but I don’t get this kind of psychoanalytic catharsis coming out thing (or is it more like the religious born again experience?) with regard to some perceived greater public good for something that should and could remain a perfectly private matter. I just looked around. Yup, it is just me.

Or am I supposed to feel like this guy is still being persecuted or something in this day and age (in Germany) and feel sorry for him? I don’t think so. These kinds of theatrics – I don’t know how else to put it – they’re just too effeminate for my taste (soccer is a great sport for that, you know). Worse still, it’s all so very boring.

“I’m making my homosexuality public because I would like to advance the discussion of homosexuality among professional athletes.”

Calling All Baseball Fans

November 28, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

In Berlin (all two or three of you?). Please sign this petition in support of the old baseball fields on Columbiadamm at Tempelhofer Feld (click the picture).

Baseball

The Berlin Senat is planning to get rid of one of them to make room for a Friedhofserweiterung (cemetary expansion)? That about says it all, doesn’t it?

Thanks for the link, Indeterminacy. And yes, an ape may just have been keeping score there.

Ein weiterer Softballplatz in Zehlendorf wurde aufgrund zahlreichen Protestes eines Bewohners eines Einfamilienhauses vernichtet und steht ebenfalls nicht mehr zur Verfügung.

Lothar Matthäus Claims He Isn’t Really Dead

October 11, 2013 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

After bringing by an ärztliches Attest (doctor’s certificate) certifying that he is “in fact like really and truly actually still alive,” ex-soccer star Lothar Matthäus has received an official apology from the otherwise infallibel Deutsche Post for returning a letter addressed to him from his ex-wife as unzustellbar (undeliverable) due to his being, well, like verstorben (deceased) already.

Lothar

“Look, I’ve been dead for my ex-wife for years now, but this is taking it a little over the top, don’t you think?” the living and breathing Promi (celebrity, sort of) said, still alive and kicking.

Weil ein Brief seiner Ex-Frau Liliana nicht zugestellt werden konnte, wird der 52-Jährige kurzerhand für tot erklärt.

Literally Hundreds Celebrate Bayern München’s Champions League Victory At The Brandenburg Gate Public Viewing Party Thingy Last Night

May 26, 2013 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It was raining like Katzen and Hunde, after all. So what do you expect?

Public Viewing

And, oh yeah. Bayern München won.

Bayern Munich are the club Germans love to hate: There may be some unresolved psychological issues too. The first football chant every German child learns is the Freudian “Zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus”: “Pull down the Bavarians’ lederhosen”.

PS: “Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie.”

Germans To Mount Another Massive Offensive Against London

May 3, 2013 By in Health, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And they aren’t even making a secret about it this time, either.

Dortmund

The immense assault, utilizing some 150,000 or more crack uniformed German fanatics, will be staged sometime in the late evening hours of May 25 at Wembley Stadium during the Champions League soccer final between two big European soccer teams, I forget which ones. And I meant football, of course, not soccer (I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy…).

It will be the first all-German final in the history of the European Cup and a record-breaking seventh time that Wembley has hosted the match.

PS: Go Dortmund!

International Olympic Committee To Disqualify All East German Olympic Medals

December 12, 2012 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just kidding.

The Limpics.

That the IOC seems determined to find a way to strip Armstrong’s time trial medal prompted Bill Mallon, one of the world’s leading Olympic historians, to ask in an email why the Olympic officials can’t do it for the medals won by doped East German athletes.  

It’s a good question.  

There actually is more documented evidence of East German doping than there is of Armstrong’s.  The Stasi (East German secret police) files opened after the 1989 fall of the Berlin Wall gave names, dates, and dosages, implicating many East German Olympic medalists from 1972 through 1988.

Draw This

October 17, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

How can you (Germany) have a 4-0 lead in the 60th minute (in Berlin) and then end up with a 4-4 draw against Sweden at the end of the match (a World Cup qualifier)?

Beats the hell out of me. But nobody else here seems to know what happened, either. I guess this was just one of those thrill-of-victory-and-agony-of-defeat moments or something. Only it was a tie. Which makes it, I dunno, worse?

Looking on, their manager, Joachim Löw, was in a “state of shock,” unable to comprehend how his players had managed to throw away a 4-0 lead on home soil to a Sweden side that days earlier had scrambled to victory over Faroe Islands. Germany had drawn but it felt like a defeat.

Guilty Until Your Boyfriend Is Proven Guilty

August 10, 2012 By in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Sports builds character or something. Guilty by association in Germany (or in this case London)? How ya figure?

Although she has never been associated with any far-right statements or actions, German Olympic rower Nadja Drygalla has a boyfriend who has. This is not vorgesehen (provided for) in Germany, however, and therefore she must now be made a public outcast.

If her boyfriend had been an open supporter of say, the Red Army Faction, no one in Germany would have cared. But hey, I don’t make the rules here. So deal with it, lady. It’s show (trial) time.

“It is the right impulse to be very cautious when it comes to extremism in Germany. But that also caused a number of overreactions in the past and the case of Ms. Drygalla is one of it.”

It’s Better To Have Come In Ninth Than Never To Have Come In At All

July 28, 2012 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The agony of defeat, or something (when people who are supposed to win lose – just ask Michael Phelps).

Wanting to keep a little reserve on the first day of Olympic competition, Germany’s swimmin’ women missed out on a spot in the women’s 4x100m freestyle final with the ninth fastest/slowest time.

Germans just aren’t good at being reserved, I guess.

“Es ist ja nicht so, dass wir mit solch einem Ergebnis gerechnet haben und machen jetzt alle einfach weiter.”

You Gotta Have Swine

June 29, 2012 By in Habitudes, High Art, Home Cooking, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And the Germans didn’t have much swine last night when Italy trounced them in the Euro 2012 semi-finals 2:1.

Having pig (Schwein haben) means to have a stroke of luck, you see. And Emma the pig up there (no relation to Arnold Ziffel) knew it all along, if you can beleive that. Which I don’t.

In the race to emulate Paul the Octopus’ World Cup predicting perfection of two years ago, Emma the Mangalitsa pig from Freiburg, Germany, vaulted into sole possession of the lead on Thursday evening.