Tag Archives: Voting

Tell Me How To Vote Oh Great And Powerful Vote-O-Mat!

April 30, 2014 By in Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Do you have any idea what the reaction over here would be if this were a freakin’ US-Amerikan invention?

Vote

That’s right, the Wahl-O-Mat is a specially designed hi-tech online device that will instruct undecided and/or clueless German voters who to vote for. Just answer 38 questions posed by Spiegel Online ITSELF and something called The Federal Center for Political Literacy and you will gladly be told precisely where to place your X in the upcoming European Election. And not to worry, the Wahl-O-Mat just can’t be evil because, well, it comes from here.

Hmmm. I wonder if these are going to be used in the upcoming Ukrainian referendum, too.

Testen Sie, welche Partei Ihren Ansichten am nächsten kommt!

Uppity In Your Face

November 24, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

My, how time flies. It’s been two months now. Talk about the tail wagging the dog.

SPD

Time for new elections, I’d say.

The SPD got 25.7% of votes compared with Mrs Merkel’s 41.5%. Mrs Merkel’s supporters are growing frustrated…

The bizarre situation has arisen because Mrs Merkel, her strong showing notwithstanding, fell just short of a majority of seats…

Mr Gabriel made another concession to the SPD’s left wing: a formal resolution on November 14th to be open in future to coalition talks with Die Linke. The two “red” parties used to detest each other, Die Linke considering the SPD sell-outs to capitalism and the SPD viewing Die Linke as a chaotic troupe of Marxists nostalgic for East Germany and dangerously hostile to NATO and America. Now, however, there is speculation that the SPD could break a coalition with Mrs Merkel in mid-term and go on to form an all-left government, unprecedented at the national level, dubbed “R2G” for red-red-green.

Just get it over with already, already, and call for a new election. They’ll never stop wasting your time otherwise.

The most important country in the European Union is thus being run by a caretaker cabinet, unable to take important decisions.

No Berlin Wall Here

September 26, 2013 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Not unless you look at how Berliners vote, that is.

Berlin

There was no great cross-border migration in the city after 1989. People had security of tenure in their flats, and they stayed put. Berlin had a large concentration of members of the Socialist Unity Party (as the communist party in East Germany was called), as well as the civil servants and Stasi operatives who kept the communist state running, and they have remained in their areas and transferred their loyalty to Die Linke.

PS: Speaking of cross-border migration, whatever happened to Ray? You know, that Dutch dude who ripped off Berlin’s youth services for 30,000 euros while doing his memory loss show for months on end? Well, he just got slammed with all the Härte (severity) of German law and will now have to perform 150 hours of community work AND receive counseling. Yowie. Let me tell you what. The Germans do NOT mess around when it comes to dishing out draconic punishment.

I Got Your Center-Right For You Right Here

September 20, 2013 By in Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Merkel

Although it might as well be a center-left. Um, is there even a difference between the two in Germany anymore?

Two days before the vote, a survey by Forsa for private broadcaster RTL showed Merkel’s conservatives — the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) and its sister Bavarian party the Christian Social Union (CSU) — 14 points ahead of the SPD, meaning she will almost surely return for a third term.

But her combined center-right bloc, which includes the business-friendly Free Democrats (FDP), was in a dead heat with left-leaning opposition parties, with both camps on 45 percent.

That makes the election in Europe’s largest economy too close to call.

“I still don’t know who I’m going to vote for.”

Germany’s Crappy Eurovision Song Not Given The Votes It Deserved

May 19, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Denmark’s Loreen and 19 others sang crappy songs that took in way more votes.

Eurovision

Böse Zungen (malicious tongues) have even suggested that Germany’s crappy Eurovision showing last night might not be entirely the fault of its crappy Cascada entry.

“We are in a difficult situation,” Thomas Schreiber from the ARD TV über-network said. “This is clearly a political situation.”

It wasn’t like Angela Merkel was singing (she might have actually won), but “you also have to see that it wasn’t just Cascada up there, Germany was on stage, too.”

Der ARD-Unterhaltungschef deutet ein Imageproblem in Europa an: “Da stand auch Deutschland auf der Bühne.”

PS: It wasn’t all bad news for Germany this weekend, however. Justin Bieber’s monkey will now become a German citizen.

Expats Pouting?

October 28, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

He may be the World President, but is he still ours?

“There’s a high interest (in voting) among expats in Germany, but I sense those on the Democrat side aren’t as fervent today as they were in 2008. There’s intense disappointment in President Obama’s leadership.”

Meanwhile… An opinion poll by the Emnid polling institute found 87 percent of German nationals would vote for Obama and only 5 percent for Romney if they had the chance to cast ballots.

Enthusiasm for Obama wanes among U.S. voters in Europe