Author Archives: Hermann Observer

Where’s Gazprom-Gerd When You Need Him?

March 4, 2014 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Probably taking tea at the “dyed-in-the-wool democrat’s” dacha.

Ukraine

When it comes to Russia’s unsolicited visit to Ukraine, German officials go out of their way to say that gas, money or jobs play absolutely no role in Berlin’s predictably soft-spoken, low-keyed, muffled, namby-pamby, wussy, pantywaisted and yellow bellied response to said unfortunate visit.

So now we all know of course that gas, money and jobs are probably playing the biggest role in Berlin’s said sad response to said event.

“Imposing sanctions on Russia because of Ukraine would put German jobs in danger.”

Germany Still Threatened By Fukushima

March 2, 2014 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Or by the ghost of Fukushima, I should say.

Fukushima

Danger! Danger! More “experts” issuing expert warnings here again: Nearly three years have passed since the Fukushima disaster in Japan and Germany is still not adequately prepared for a nuclear incident, the Süddeutsche Zeitung reports.

I can only assume that they mean being not adequately prepared for  a nuclear incident caused by a magnitude 9.0 undersea megathrust earthquake hitting somewhere off the coast of Bremerhaven in a region of the world that doesn’t “do” earthquakes and causing a massive tsunami that could wipe out one of Germany’s coastal power plants, or maybe even one in Bavaria, provided, of course, that said tsunami could still find a German nuclear power plant that was still in operation, which is very doubtful indeed, but still.

Nope. You can never be prepared enough when it comes to preparing for one of those worst conceivable and most completely unpredictable natural disasters like-in-recorded-history-type-disasters that has already happened somewhere else, I guess.

Deutschland ist nicht ausreichend auf einen nuklearen Störfall vorbereitet.

Forbidding Stuff Makes It Go Away

March 1, 2014 By in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, History, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Right? In Germany it does. Or it’s supposed to, at least. But it doesn’t work here either, of course.

Take old Nazi films apparently easily available on YouTube, for instance. “Experts” are now shocked to find that it is possible to view them on the Internet, even though such films were placed “on the index” in Germany long ago. Reminds us of the Mein Kampf–Krampf (convulsion), doesn’t it?

Films

Let’s face it, if we really want to forbid something it ought to be stupidity. Before that works, forbidding films is a questionable undertaking at best. I think the Libertarians sum that up nicely: “If there is no good reason to forbid something (a good reason being that it violates the rights of others), it should be allowed.”

Or do these films, as sad and stupid as they are, violate your rights?

Müssen Filme überhaupt verboten werden?

An Anti-Semitic Caricature?

February 26, 2014 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

In Germany? Today? No way.

Zuckerberg

Or way?

Octo

Hard to say.

Uh. German anti-Facebook technophobia is one thing, but like what on earth were they thinking (or drinking?) over there at the Süddeutsche Zeitung when they put out this one?

“If anyone has any doubts about the anti-Semitic dimension of the cartoon, we can point to Mark Zuckerberg’s very prominent nose, which is not the case in real life.”

I CAN Stop Watching It

February 25, 2014 By in Heconomy, High Art, Home Cooking, Hotness, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

But it does kind of rock. I guess.

The dude you can find anywhere. But the women that work in my supermarket just don’t look like that. Well that one does…

Judging from this commercial, German supermakets are much more fun—or at least more bizarre—than their American counterparts.

Germans Bugging Americans About Bugging Germans Again

February 24, 2014 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Well they’re sure bugging me.

Merkel

I mean, the Pres already told the NSA to stop listening in on Angela Merkel, right? So like are they now supposed to stop listening in on everybody else out there, too? Why that’s, I dunno, unrealistic or something. Damned if you do. Damned if you still do.

The National Security Agency (NSA) has stepped up its surveillance of senior German government officials since being ordered by Barack Obama to halt its spying on Chancellor Angela Merkel, Bild am Sonntag paper reported on Sunday.

“Was soll ich denken?”

PS: Looking at that picture up there makes me think that I could work for the NSA, too. I bet I could have cracked that password eventually myself.

Gerd Knows Best

February 23, 2014 By in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helections, Hideology, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Ex-chancellor “Gazprom-Gerd” Schröder just can’t seem to sit still these days and has fired yet another salvo in his one-man undeclared unsolicited advice offensive.

Schroeder

He has now advised current chancellor Angela Merkel to leave office in a timely manner. For her own good, of course. And I, for one, certainly hope that she takes this advice to heart. If anybody out there knows about not having left office in a timely manner it’s this guy. In fact I think he should have left office a few days after having been elected. The first time, I mean. It would have only been for his own good, of course.

Gerhard Schröder—the former German chancellor, a man who said the Soviet Union of Leonid Brezhnev appeared more intent on peace than the Americans, and who since 2006 has been a Gazprom executive and Vladimir Putin’s chief shill among the countries of the European Union—has come up with a prescription for masking Moscow’s refusal to let Ukraine (or anyone else) leave Russia’s control and form an organic relationship with the West.