States Getting Safer All The Time

May 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Asylum, German, Germans, Germany, Immigration, Migrants, Refugees, Safe States Leave a comment

At least as far as Germany is concerned. Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia just got a whole lot safer than they were yesterday, for example.

How did this happen, you ask? It’s kind of like magic, I guess, but “safe countries of origin,” you see, are countries where asylum-seekers seeking asylum in Germany can be sent back to safely, in a safe manner. And this safes, I mean saves, Germany the trouble of having to deal with them.

The problem here being (and don’t tell anybody I told you this – it’s top secret or something) that most of the asylum seekers coming to Germany from these countries aren’t in need of asylum at all.

“A large number of people from the Maghreb states come to Germany for reasons that are not connected to asylum. The stay of such people must be ended quickly.”

Germans Outraged Again Sort Of

May 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Austria, Germany, Immigration, Italy, Merkel, Migrants, Refugees, Renzi Leave a comment

In a way. Stunned at Austria’s latest plan to put up another yucky border (the Italian one this time) to keep refugees from entering Austria (and thus Germany), German Chancellor Angela Merkel has decried the awful plan, calling it “mistaken” and “anachronistic.”

And you can hardly even tell that she is secretly thrilled to death about the Austrians saving her political behind once again, thus allowing her preach from the moral high ground way up north in Berlin another day.

The narrow Brenner Pass has become a point of contention between Italy and Austria, as Rome has long complained that parts of northern Europe were allowing southern European nations to bear the brunt of sheltering and taking care of asylum-seekers.

Money Doesn’t Stink In Germany

April 21, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: Cash, Corruption, Crime, German, Germans, Germany, Language, Money Laundering 2 Comments

That’s because it gets laundered here so much. Get it?

Over 100 billion euros gets processed here every year. They even call it Geldwäsche (money washing). That sounds a lot more, I dunno, cleaner than laundering does, don’t you think?

Germany is considered an El Dorado for criminals who want to launder their money, a study for the Finance Ministry has found.

Money laundering deals that take place outside of the finance sector go largely undetected in Germany – meaning a large proportion of all illegal business is never found, the report claims.

So like why go to the trouble of opening some fake offshore company in Panama?

Nur Bares ist Wahres?

German Of The Day: Majestätsbeleidigung

April 20, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, History, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Böhmermann, Censorship, Erdogan, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Insults, Justice, Language, Law, Legislation, Satire, Slander Leave a comment

That means a slight or an insult against a sovereign majesty-type person (lèse majesté).

You know, the crime German comedian Jan Böhmermann recently committed against the Top Sultan What’s in Charge in Turkey? In the year 2016, I mean?

Anyways, this law, paragraph 103, is still on the books here in Germany and Hamburg’s justice minister has decided to go way out on the limb here and give it a shot and see if he could maybe sort of like get rid of this ridiculous piece of legislation already. It would be a big step forward into the unknown and all that, of course, but I, for one, am convinced that German civilization will be able to handle it.

Die Justizbehörde geht davon aus, dass das Gesetz noch vor der Sommerpause gestrichen werden könnte und das Verfahren gegen Böhmermann dann eingestellt werden müsste. Davon unberührt blieben jedoch Ermittlungen gegen Böhmermann wegen Beleidigung nach Paragraf 185 Strafgesetzbuch.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

April 15, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Boehmermann, Crime, Erdogan, Free speech, Germany, ISIS, Merkel, Safia S., Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Turkey 2 Comments

German prosecutors have said a 15-year-old girl who stabbed a police officer was conducting a “martyrdom operation” for the militant “Islamic State” (IS) group. The teen had previously met with IS members in Turkey.

I’m sure she’ll be punished harshly for her actions. By German standards, I mean.

Meanwhile, when it comes to more serious crimes like free speech… I mean serious things like thought crimes…

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced Friday that her government will grant a Turkish request for the prosecution of Jan Boehmermann after he recited a crude poem about Turkey’s president, despite “diverging opinions” within the German ruling coalition.

“We are Germans, renowned for our world-famous sense of humor.”

Veil, What Will They Think Of Next?

April 13, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hotness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Advertising, Bans, Censorship, Cologne, Gender, German, Germans, Germany, Islam, Muslims, Nanny State, Political correctness, Refugees, Sex, Sexuality, SPD, Veils, Women 1 Comment

Veiling German women? What a tremendous waste of natural resources that would be.

German Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) said the move to ban ads which “reduce women or men to sexual objects” is an attempt to create a “modern gender image”.

The important thing to note here folks are the three letters S, P and D. Support for Germany’s Social Democratic party has now slumpted to an all-time historical-like low (around 20 percent). But now, at the very latest, we at least understand why.

The plan has been called political correctness gone mad by its critics, who said it was the first step towards a “nanny state”. It comes following a controversy over claims made by a senior politician that schools and canteens in Germany are ‘banning’ the serving of pork to avoid offending Muslim migrants.

“To demand the veiling of women or taming of men, is something known among radical Islamic religious leaders, but not from the German minister of justice.”

Germans Don’t Need Foreign Leaders Telling Them How Far Free Speech Can Go

April 12, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Boehmermann, Comedy, Erdogan, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Journalism, Satire, Turkey 3 Comments

They have there own leaders to do that.

It is illegal under Section 103 of Germany’s criminal code to insult foreign leaders, you see.

So that is why German officials are now “carefully reviewing” the Turkish government’s request to have criminal proceedings be brought against German comedian Jan Boehmermann over his satirical poem suggesting that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan engages in sexual acts with goats.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t the goats be the insulted ones here? Hardy, har, har. Just joking. Honest, man.

Dass beleidigende Äußerungen hingegen überhaupt strafbar sind, versteht sich keinesfalls von selbst – in Ländern mit angloamerikanischer Rechtsordnung sind sie es ganz überwiegend nicht.

Speaking Of State Control…

April 6, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, GEZ, Language, Nanny State, Patermalism, Prison, State Control, Taxation, Television Leave a comment

There may not be any punishment here for producing awful television shows but if YOU get sassy and don’t pay your GEZ TV tax (or “mandatory fee,” as the tax collectors prefer to call it) you can go to jail.

I’m not making this up. All German households must shell out 17.50 euros ($20) a month to watch great entertainment like Traumshiff, Lindenstrasse and Tatort, Tatort, Tatort as well as be submitted to propagandistic-indoctrination-like nightly news programs à la the Tagesschau by those good old fashioned unelected and nameless state TV official folks over there at the ARD and the ZDF (exhale now). Or else.

A woman was freed from prison after a court in Chemnitz had admitted that they had kept her in custody for 61 days because of her refusal to pay the GEZ fees.

Regional state broadcaster MDR applied for an arrest warrant against Sieglinde Baumert in September 2015 in an attempt to force her to sign a statement about her assets, which she refused because, as she told “Die Welt” newspaper, “With my signature I would confirm the legality of the mandatory fees.”

“I feel patronized, I get the decision taken away from me about what I’m paying my money for.”

Censorship Is For Everyone

April 5, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Censorship, Freedom of Speech, German, Germans, Germany, Justice, Language, Law, Lawsuits, Rammstein, State Control Leave a comment

Just like Liebe.

Hey, you know the deal here in Germany: Anything that is not expressly allowed is strictly forbidden. Or at least very, very, very suspicious. You know, like free speech?

Rammstein has filed a lawsuit against Germany for having temporarily indexed the album “Liebe ist für alle da,” said a spokesperson of the Bonn Regional Court on Monday (04.04.2016). The rock band is seeking 66,000 euros (nearly $75,000) in damages.

In 2009, the Federal Department for Media Harmful to Young Persons, a German governmental agency responsible for listing works that could potentially harm youths, had decided that one of the songs of the album, “Ich tu dir weh,” as well as the pictures in the booklet accompanying the CD, were “brutalizing” and “immoral.” The entire album was indexed.

Once a work gets listed by the organization, it may not be advertised and can only be sold under strict conditions – limiting its potential success.

Ist alles, was nicht ausdrücklich verboten ist, erlaubt?

Drug Snugglers Getting Trickier All The Time

March 9, 2016 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Hard Facts, High Art, Hotness, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: Boobs, Breasts, Cocaine, Drugs, Frankfurt, German, Germans, Germany, Silicon, Smuggling Leave a comment

I mean smugglers.

OK. So like how did that customs dude at Frankfurt Airport determine that there are two silicon implants filled with cocaine in there (500 grams each)?

He must have been given a hot tip. Although any boob could see that those were loaded. I guess she got busted.

Die „Bild“ berichtet über den skurrilen Fund der Zollbeamten. Demnach sei die Frau schon auf dem zehnstündigen Flug aus Südamerika nach Frankfurt wegen ihrer enormen Oberweite aufgefallen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Habeas Corpus