US Government Officials Want To Kill Me

A whining Edward Snowden has told German television in an exclusive interview.

Snowden

US citizen just wants him to finally shut up and to PLEASE go away already for crying out loud, says a thoroughly disgusted me.

“These people, and they are government officials, have said they would love to put a bullet in my head or poison me when I come out of the supermarket, and then watch as I die in the shower.”

German Car Club Mafia Terrorists Apologize Nineteen Million Times

For rigging the prestigious (yawn) “car the year” award competition, I mean.

ADAC

Mr. Ramstetter, 60, admitted to Germany’s Süddeutsche Zeitung that he had increased the number of ADAC member votes tenfold for this year’s “Golden Angel” award which went to the Volkswagen Golf.

Although the ADAC did not admit it, there were suspicions that its executives may have taken sizeable backhanders from Germany’s powerful car manufacturers in exchange for manipulating the figures.

Good Privacy Protection Is Good Weapon Protection

When Germans register private weapons, they do it thoroughly. But by always keeping thorough privacy protection policies in mind, too, of course.

Gun

There are 550 various Waffenbehörden (weapons agencies) in the country and they must all now register their registered weapons at the Nationale Waffenregister (national firearmes registry) to boot. Sound well-registered? It should. It is.

Unfortunately, for those who advocate strict weapon registration policies here (99.9 percent of the population?), things aren’t going to plan.

First of all, those who advocate strict weapon registration (“the public”) want to KNOW who has the weapons, how many these owners have, etc. but the firearms registry legislation does not provide for this so they are Scheiße outta luck (law enforcement officials have access, of course).

The second problem is that the numbers now indicate (as they always have elsewhere) that registered weapons still kill people. Along with all of those other “bad” illegal unregistered weapons out there, too, I mean.

Wer wie viele Waffen hat, geht die Öffentlichkeit nichts an – “Bitte betrachten Sie unsere Ablehnung nicht als unhöfliches Vorgehen. Wir sehen leider keine Möglichkeiten, Ihrem aus öffentlichen Interesse erwachsendem Anliegen geeignet zu entsprechen.”

ALDI?

As in ALDI drugs you want?

ALDI

Workers at five stores in and around Berlin were surprised to find cocaine packed into crates of bananas on Monday. Olaf Schremm, the head of Berlin’s anti-drugs squad said the crates had come from Colombia via the German port of Hamburg and the discovery was “pure chance”.

140 Kilo Kokain wurden in Aldi-Filialen in Berlin sowie in Velten (Oberhavel) entdeckt. Das Rauschgift war in Bananenkisten verpackt. Den Ermittlern zufolge handelt es sich um den größten Berliner Drogenfund seit Jahren.

Criminal Failed To Register Stolen Revolver Before Killing Girlfriend And Self

Gun law-abiding Germans everywhere where shocked to discover today that a criminal in Münster had failed to register the revolver he had stolen before turning the weapon on his girlfriend and himself.

Gun control

“I’ve seen it all now,” one enraged passerby at the scene of the crime commented. “What good are stringent gun control laws if the criminals out there these days don’t have the decency to abide by them?”

“Don’t these idiots know that if you don’t register your stolen weapon it could be immediately confiscated and you’d probably be hit with a big honking fine?” Another irrate citizen chimed in. “And how the hell are the police going to be able to track down and arrest crooks like this if they don’t even know where to find them? And they haven’t killed themselves first, I mean. Ever think about that? The cops aren’t magicians you know.”

Der Revolver, mit dem der Mann schoss, stammte aus einem Einbruch in einem anderen Bundesland.

“On The Run From The Henchmen Of His Homeland”

Concerned Germans everywhere (note the red scarf) weren’t quite concerned enough to actually offer poor and misunderstood professional leaker/Russian tourist Edward Snowden political asylum, but now they all hope in unison that Brazil will (tons of Germans have found refuge there in the past, you know).

Snowden

Otherwise those awful henchmen/bogeymen from that horrible homeland of his might just get him and, well, we don’t even want to THINK about what could possibly happen to him then!

Ex-NSA-Mitarbeiter Edward Snowden will auf seiner Flucht vor den Häschern seines Heimatlandes offenbar nach Brasilien weiterreisen.

That’s Almost German

The language, I mean. “Was Mir Sorgen?” Nice try. But way cool image, I must say.

Alfred

Well, it is a weird state of affairs when you cannot give away free porn to anonymous people who only visit your site because it has free porn.

Yes it is. But welcome to Germany, sort of. What, me worry (was, ich soll mir Sorgen machen)?

It was originally thought that the letters were sent because of a court error. However, Thomas Urmann of the legal firm U+C told the German newspaper Welt am Sonntag that they plan to investigate more infringements on porn streaming sites next year, a move that would set a worldwide precedent.

Swords To Pflugscharen?

You can stop the import of Mein Kampf in Germany, why not stop the export of expensive weapons systems out of Germany?

Mein Kampf

The Munich Institute for Contemporary History has been working for years on a “scientific edition” of Hitler’s book. In 2012 the state government gave the green light, now it wants to stop the project*.

Weapons

Meanwhile… On the occasion of his ninety-fifth birthday, Helmut Schmidt has called on the federal government to stop German weapons exports.”It is time to raise an objection,” the former chancellor wrote in the ZEIT. Germany is the world’s third largest weapons exporter and ranks before China, Japan, France and England, directly after the USA and Russia. “A development that displeases me greatly. And one that needs to be stopped by the coming coalition government in Berlin.”

Er habe Verständnis für “die Unlust der heutigen Deutschen”, “Aber ich halte es für abwegig, statt Soldaten Waffen zu schicken.”

Germany does not ban “Mein Kampf,” but Bavaria has used its ownership of the copyright to block domestic publication until now. Late Tuesday, the state premier’s chief of staff, Christine Haderthauer, said that Hitler’s anti-Semitic memoir amounts to incitement and that the state would file a criminal complaint if anyone tried to publish it in the future. In Germany, copyright expires 70 years after an author’s death.