So Much For That Shootout

August 3, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Central Banks, Draghi, ECB, EU, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Italy, Merkel, Monetary Policy, Satire, Spain, The Euro, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

I still don’t know who Gary Cooper was here, but Mario Draghi just went from “I will do whatever it takes to preserve the euro” (and buy up Spanish and Italian bonds) to “the ECB may consider” doing so at a later date.

Needless to say, the markets were not amused. Cherchez la femme, I’d say (and it ain’t Grace Kelly).

What’s the hold up? Germany, perhaps. During a press conference afterwards, ECB vice-president Vítor Constâncio noted that only one member of the ECB was adamantly opposed to bond purchases. This seems to be a reference to Germany’s Bundesbank, which had vigorously opposed a central-bank bailout of Spain and Italy. And even though the Bundesbank doesn’t have a direct veto over ECB actions, it seems Germany, as the richest country in the euro zone, still has plenty of sway.

“For all the criticism of Merkel, she distinguishes herself from politicians on both sides of the Atlantic in that she has a plan.”

It’s High Noon

August 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bundesbank, Currency, ECB, EU, Financial crisis, Fiscal Policy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, The Euro, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

But which one is Gary Cooper?

Big spending Mario Draghi, the European Central Bank boss who is shooting for the outright central-bank purchase of European sovereign debt, or lonely Bundesbank chief Jens Weidmann (and pretty much the rest of conservative Germany) who is gunning to resist such a move as it would “dilute debt-laden governments’ incentive to reform, and lumber the central bank with too many risks and responsibilities, endangering its independence and credibility.”

And more importantly, who is Grace Kelly here and where is she when we need her?

“I will do whatever it takes to preserve the euro.”

“Arming the World for Peace”

July 31, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms, Berlin, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Weapons Exports 1 Comment

Only German military industrial complex peaceniks can pull this kind of stuff off without laughing out loud. Not only do they sell their expensive weapons systems for gutes Geld (serious money), they arm the world for peace in the process.

Drawing lessons from Afghanistan and Libya, German Chancellor Merkel has been making quiet changes to Berlin’s arms exports policy. Instead of intervening in conflicts, she wants to help arm certain countries to provide stability in crisis regions.

“The idea of supporting partners in turbulent regions with weapons so that they can provide for stability is not implausible.” As long as Germans are doing it, I guess.

Ich Liebe Deutsche Land

July 30, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypochondria Tags: Berlin, Demographics, Extinction, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, Population, Population Growth, Satire Leave a comment

How can the German population actually be growing despite decades of negative birth rates? That’s easy. Just do it without the Germans.

It’s the immigrants, stupid.

Es sind die Einwanderer, die uns vorm Aussterben bewahren.

Quatar

July 29, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms exports, Arms Industry, Berlin, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Pacifism, Peace, Peacniks, Satire, Weapons, Weapons industry Leave a comment

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Biomass Movement Is Over (If You Want It)

July 27, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bioenergy, Biomass, Energy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Ideology, Politics, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Energy Turnaround Leave a comment

Remember the days when crops were something people would eat?

Well the German National Academy of Sciences Leopoldina has just found out that that maybe wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The German mania for “bioenergy” seems to have already had its day in the solar-powered sun. The academy’s report “Bioenergy – Chances and Limits” concludes that bioenergy is just a lot of bio gas (or hot bio air, if you prefer).

It plays “a minor role in the transition to renewable, sustainable energy sources in Germany at the present time and probably in the future,” requiring more surface area, creating higher greenhouse gas emissions and being more harmful to the environment than other renewable sources.

So what are we going to do with all those imported soybeans now? Eat them? Hey, the plan looked good on green paper, though.

“Die Produktion von Biokraftstoffen stellte eine extrem ineffiziente Nutzung der verfügbaren landwirtschaftlichen Fläche dar.”

This Is A German Swearing

July 26, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Businesses, Cussing, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Psychology, Satire, Stress, Swearing, Telephones Leave a comment

Boy, talk about the line being busy.

Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam – dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.

The swearing hotline, known as “Schimpf-los” (“swear away”) in German, has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer at and taunt using the most unsavory language they can muster.

“That’s the third time I’ve heard that today – is that all you’ve got?”

Germany Confused About Japan’s “Retreat” From A Nuclear-Free Future

July 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Humor, Ideology, Nuclear energy, Nuclear power, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, Wind Energy Leave a comment

And here we thought that Germans were good at math.

Until Fukushima, Japan satisfied about 30 percent of its electricity demands with nuclear power, while renewable energy made up about 10 percent of the power supply. If one leaves out hydroelectric power, renewables hardly make up more than 1 percent.

“Japan needs a vision.”

The Lesser Of Two Evils

July 24, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debt, Finance, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Moody's, Rating Agencies, The Euro, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

“Finally, a rating agency showed a sense for good timing. The announcement could hardly have come at a better time: Moody’s casts doubts on Germany’s top rating. The rating agency provided its top grade “AAA” rating with a negative outlook. This is perfect timing for the debate which has taken place these past few days concerning additional help payments to Greece.”

“The agency gives two main arguments behind taking this step, and they should be clear to everyone.

First there is the danger that Greece would leave the euro: Then the danger of further contamination for other countries like Italy and Spain would be a threat.

But secondly there is another, far greater danger: If none of these countries leave the euro, then financially weak states would have to be supported indefinitely by the stronger ones.”

“Germany continues to find itself in a very solid economic and financial situation.”

The End With Horror

July 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debt, Euro, Europe, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Political Parties, Sayings, The Debt Cricis, The EU, The Euro Zone Leave a comment

No horror here. Or terror, if you prefer. How does that German proverb go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende?

That is, better an end with horror than a horror without end. And that’s where we’re at with Greece now, finally.

German Vice Chancellor Philipp Roesler said he’s “very skeptical” that European leaders will be able to rescue Greece and the prospect of the country’s exit from the euro had “lost its terror.”

Get it over with already, people, and move on.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Heconomy